Thank you for all the nice replies.
The past couple of days were mixed. Posting this thread helped a lot. Also talking to my GP helped.
Yesterday though, I was dumped by a friend over this story. I need to get it off my chest so here is that story:
His name is Thomas. We were friends for 4 years. We met at a dinner party held by someone we both know a few years ago. After that, we met up to go to the movies together. Not often but occasionally. From there, some kind of friendship grew. We have celebrated New Years eves together several times and also celebrated the occasional birthday together. On his last birthday, he invited me to a family gathering where I met his sister, brother in law etc. When the corona thing started he wasn't able to get any anti viral disinfectant (sold out). So I gave him some of my stash. Last year, he very nearly got into a a relationship with some woman (showed me pics and all) and told me all about it. We were not joined-at-the-hip besties but we were solid friends, I thought.
I never mentioned my health issue to him until yesterday. Yesterday, we met up for lunch and I told him exactly what I said in this thread. I was surprised that he did not ask a single question. Not how I was, not what happened, nothing at all. I then said that the next check up was on September 10th and that (if things didn't go my way) I would need another operation. I asked if he would pick me up from the hospital and take me home if that happened. His face dropped. He didn't say anything at all until a couple of minutes later. He then told me he was planning on going on vacation in September. That may be true. It may not be true. What happened after that makes me think it wasn't true.
We finished lunch pretty much without saying a word. He suggested we take a stroll through the local area. During that stroll, he raised his voice a bit. He said that I should have told him in advance. It wasn't ok to tell people something like that over lunch. I was very surprised. We had been friends for 4 years. He never raises his voice at anyone, much less me. WTF. And how should I have told him? On WhatsApp? I didn't even know it was such a terrible thing to say to a friend. I was asking for a simple favor, nothing else. I didn't say anything though. I was a bit speechless at being scolded.
We carried on walking. He was silent for a while and then raised his voice some more. "People have families for that kind of thing!". I replied that he knew my family situation. I have a mother and a brother who cannot be relied upon at all. If anything, they are a burden. He knows that. I told him a couple of years ago. I replied that he knew about my family situation and that instead of family, I rely on friends. He said "I don't believe that". I was like WTF! You know me. You know the story. We are friends.
At that point, I ended the conversation. Tears shot into my eyes and I said that I didn't want to fight. I said my good byes, turned around and walked the other way. He seemed shocked at seeing me well up. I am not usually the crying type. Not at all. Then again, I am not usually in a situation like this and have a friend scold me for asking for a simple favor.
So I walked off and he actually tried to catch up with me. He said: "Don't cry. I will find a way to pick you up." and then raised his voice again "You can't just put people in a situation like that. Have some consideration for others.".
I was not going to apologize for asking for a simple lift home. I was done. I hopped on my bike and left.
All of that after 4 years of friendship. That mutual acquaintance of ours nearly broke her foot a few months ago. He told me that she called him at 11 pm and he picked her up from the emergency room. Because she also had no-one else to give her a lift. I guess a broken foot is not as scary as my potential problem. I guess.
Oh well. This entire episode is turning into a life changing event, it feels. No matter how I will come out of this, a lot of things will be different. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. But ****ing hell! What a weak *** ****ty friend.