Iíve always had trouble with fatigue. Iíve never done any sport or exercise because it has always triggered my SA so much in childhood. Iím not sure if that fully explains it though. I bought a treadmill around 3 years ago, and even though I didnít use it regularly, it still helped a bit I guess. But since COVID (literally since March), the treadmill broke down, and I canít fix it (canít reach the company). And I just havenít gone out except maybe a handful of times, and I feel that going to work every day and seeing the sun, maybe climbing some stairs used to help me. Now I just feel afraid to step outside, because I donít have to. Bed to work laptop. Work laptop to personal laptop. Personal laptop to bed. I donít want to go out to walk. I donít want to hear cars or noises or see people or anything. I hate physical people's presense so much, so much more now since I've been locking myself up here for so long.
Iím not overweight (probably underweight or normal), but sometimes getting out of bed seems so hard. I imagine my heart pumping and lugging my body around, especially right after waking up and the feeling slowly goes to the background only after the second huge cup of coffee. I sometimes visualize my brain telling my heart to pump enough blood to my limbs to just get out of bed. I know some people don't have coffee on weekends. For me, if I do that, I don't ever get out of bed.
Iíve visited a doctor a couple of years ago for this exact issue and he brushed it away and implied that I was depressed and needed something new in my life. I found that very annoying because I didnít tell him anything to indicate that I was depressed. Itís also so frustrating when a doctor tells you ďthereís nothing wrong with you physicallyĒ when you feel really really bad just waking up is exhausting. (Also, not doing any exercise makes me feel guilty. That all the fatigue and not being able to concentrate or move around is all MY fault and itís such a vicious loop).
I should probably go for short walks daily, but Iím so afraid to start. I imagine the fatigue doubling at first. Having to sleep extra 2 hours at least, being more sleep-deprived and depressed, and negatively affecting my concentration at work (which is really struggling anyway
Not sure if there are exercises I can do in my room. It has to be something really simple. I try looking up ďexercise for old peopleĒ sometimes, but thereís so much psychological resistance to me moving my body I guess. Iím not exactly sure why. Even just seeing someone moving their body in a video triggers me because I donít like thinking of my body moving in any way (the treadmill was a perfect compromise. Iím so frustrated itís broken
Anyone went through something similar? Any suggestions for ďreally easyĒ stuff to start with? Or should I push myself to just go for short walks?
Sorry, I have to get all this negativity off my chest before I think of taking any steps to solve this.