5 Things about weight loss
I have lost 120 pounds, I have more energy, more confidence and determination that never existed. But with this new found respect for myself comes very complex changes.
1. Being known as the "guy who lost weight" - This irks me sometimes because I am not defined by this only distinction, and want to be known for more. This distinction only heightens my anxiety to achieve.
2. The anxiety that comes from a positive accomplishment - I had average anxiety when I was growing up, now it has skyrocketed profoundly. I feel expectations never once graced upon me. I get so overwhelmed from all this positivity that the "fat kid" expects in me wants the ball to be dropped.
3. Fitting in but not really - Weight loss is not an everyday occurrence, people who lose a lot of weight are as rare as two snowflakes looking alike. It is like a slap in the face to do something that fits you in but at the same time makes you a secular for this achievement.
4. All the emotions that come with weight loss - I went from a lazy, morbidly obese loser who had no job and no aspirations to do anything to someone who gets excellent grades in college, new found lease on life and lighter but not skinny. Having people compliment you physically and girls crushing on you is not always the greatest thing in the world. Having your life turned upside down in such a short time is very heavy on my shoulders.
5. The attitudes that come with weight loss - People always say that I have determination, but I say that I had nothing to lose when I began. Determined means that I would still be working at it, but I still indulge in my favorite foods all the time. It gets easier but at the same time my brain tells me that I deserve from being healthy and eat a burger from Wendy's
The reason I wrote this is to show that weight loss can have an ugly side. It is not a bed of roses even when it is done. It seems that no one talks about it.