he is tired of telling P they are not P's." (P meaning word for female vagina). Then the other guy says basically "pretty much all mental health issue boil down to being cowards". He said "fear of flying your just a P when it comes to flying. Getting bullied your just a P when it comes to fighting and fear of public speaking your just a P when it some to being judged by others." The the other guy say he just wants "to scream at people when he is giving them therapy to just ****ing do it" "Face your fear." "even if it dosent work out you will feel better about yourself for trying and the only way to get over stuff is to expose yourself to it." But that people are "to big of p's to face their fears"
Well, fear is
the main reason many people get messed up. They're not wrong in that sense. But being afraid isn't the same as being a coward. "Coward" is a particular way of framing the problem, sort of like saying, "pretty much all physical health issues boil down to being weak". That would be true, too. Weak immune system, weak heart, weak bones. But framing medicine as some kind of scam to take advantage of weak people would sound strange to most people, even though the analogies are equivalent.
The problem here seems to be that the therapists you overheard don't yet appreciate the involuntary nature of psychological processes, which follow laws just like physical processes. People can't just decide to overcome their fears any more than they can just decide to overcome having a weak immune system. "Just expose yourself to germs. Even if it doesn't work out, and you catch COVID-19, you'll feel better about yourself for trying, and the only way to get over stuff is to expose yourself to it." Frankly, this kind of thinking is asinine. And it's just as asinine when applied to psychological disorders. Ofc, it's also possible that the therapists were just blowing off steam and talking facetiously but take it more seriously when they're actually dealing with clients. But I wouldn't want them for my therapist.
Psychological problems are serious problems; a negative (dysfunctional, irrational) belief can infect you just like a virus can. And it will operate in your thinking with the same kind of involuntary force that physical viruses have.
The big problem as far as I am concerned is not what they say but what they think. If they think this kind of stuff they really think about their clients and they dont even believe what they tell us then how are we supposed to believe it.
So, as far as your question goes, it seems like we need to distinguish between "how can we believe what therapists tell us about ourselves?" from "how can we believe what therapists tell us about therapy?" From your post, I'm not sure which you mean, and maybe you mean both. I don't want to make the post too long, so I'll only address the latter.
Is therapy effective? Can you get better just by talking to someone? I think there are two possibilities here: either our interactions with other people are efficacious, or they're not efficacious. Either being treated poorly by another person can have a negative impact on a person's mental health, or it can't. If it can, then being treated well by another person can have a positive
impact on a person's mental health, in which case therapy can work, in principle. If it can't, then therapy is useless.
So far as I can see, you have to believe one or the other. You either have to believe that being treated poorly can create psychological problems and that therefore therapy can help or that being treated poorly doesn't create psychological problems and that therefore therapy doesn't help. It seems logically inconsistent to me to believe that people can mess you up but that people can't make you better. This is like arguing that you can boil water, but once you do, you'll never freeze it.
Psychological problems are, ofc, extremely difficult to correct. Many people have not found any benefit in therapy. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't help some of the people some of the time and that it's all just bunk. A good relationship with a good therapist can absolutely help someone, just like a bad relationship with a bad parent can absolutely mess them up. Much easier to break a dish than to put it back together, ofc.