Sorry for my late reply! Thanks for sharing.
It seems you have managed to get out of your own way quite a bit. That's really great! Would you say this is a cumulative effect of your psychedelic experiences? What you describe correlates with the theory of the activity in the default mode network being lowered when you are on psychedelics. Hyper activity in this network has been associated with anxiety, depression and obsessive-compulsive behaviour. In other words; psychedelics can help you become less rigid and more flexible in how you think, feel, act and relate to people and situations. Or, as you put it, you are better at letting go. I like the analogy of the snow covered hill a lot. It starts out pristine. When you ski down, you leave a trail. The next time you ski down, you have a chance to get into this trail and ski down this route. At a certain point one trail has become entrenched and it becomes almost impossible to go down the hill in any other way. Psychedelics cover the slope with a fresh layer of snow temporarily, so you have the opportunity to create new trails. The old one's won't disappear, but you have created alternatives. The challenge is to stay on the new trail as much as possible in daily life and to reinforce it.
I was referring to my aya experiences. The microdosing doesn't count as psychedelic experiences for me. It was rough, yeah. But I see them as challenging experiences, rather than negative incidents. A lot of my coping mechanisms were swept away and I've been in a difficult state for months. But when you consider that the coping mechanisms are a big part of the problem, this clears the way for change. The stuff the coping mechanisms had kept at bay, was in my consciousness most of the time now. Staying with it has been extremely hard at times and I'm pretty sure I would have ran from it if I could at some instances. That option didn't exist anymore though and I ultimately didn't wanted it to. That has actually been quite liberating. It has become much easier for me to stay present in difficult situations in daily life now. I do get the urge sometimes, but it seems to be less of a life or death situation. It's not as easy to get caught in a fight/flight mode now. I have options now in a given situation, where before, my survival response just took over. It seems to be what you're also saying and I'm happy for you that you've gained this flexibility from your experiences. Do you also meditate? I started doing this daily and it has helped me a great deal to deepen the "mindful" point of reference I got from the aya experiences. It's also a microdose in a way, because you disidentify from your ego and identify with your observer.
Coming back to reality hasn't been a very big challenge for me thus far. It takes a bit of time, and some quirky stuff happens in my mind now and then, but overall it's mainly an emotional challenge for me. If you struggle with reality, you might find some support at iceers. If I'm not mistaken, they provide some kind of free online service.