ok, im gona do my own cbt-like thing right here! - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 06:18 PM Thread Starter
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whats the harm in letting me run the show for awhile? yin, you've been in charge of AJs social life since the beginning, and look at the result. You admit yourself, they're not very good results.

Whats the harm in trying to care for people? whats the harm in helping people? Why are we sacrificing so much joy here? for what?

people are capable of giving so much fun, joy, pleasure, love and care. We need to start looking for this

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.
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post #42 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 06:34 PM Thread Starter
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its very simplistic to just look at the individual parts of the cycle.
for example:
Someone doesnt want to spend time with you
You dislike them

it takes intelligence to see the full cycle as the real problem:
You have habit of assuming people dislike you (Yin dominance of social life)
someone feels this vibe
Someone doesnt want to spend time with you
You dislike them
bad habit gets stronger

Recognizing the real problem is the first step, next we need to figure how to change to the positive cycle (yang dominated)

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.
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post #43 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 07:00 PM Thread Starter
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and after all you attempts at friendship, and we find AJ all alone as usual, then what will you do?

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.
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post #44 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 07:13 PM Thread Starter
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and after all you attempts at friendship, and we find AJ all alone as usual, then what will you do?

yes,
we may fail
we may make mistakes
we may need a break
we may struggle
we may get frustrated
we may feel hopeless

but we will not give up!

remember those mario games? did AJ play them to save the princess?? no, he played them cause the challenge was fun. The same can be said for life.

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.
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post #45 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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ok, Im not going to give up full control here, but i will give this some chance.

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post #46 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 07:39 PM Thread Starter
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that will have to do for now, Im sure in time you will see the value in this. We are a team here, and we will work together for the good of AJ

yang, we need to build some positive beliefs. Ideally, I want you to be as passionate about them as yin is about his negativity

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post #47 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 07:40 PM Thread Starter
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ok, lets just start imagining all the fun things we can do with people. and by fun, i dont mean stuff they find fun, but stuff AJ finds fun. it will be quite fun thinking about fun!

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post #48 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-29-2010, 08:13 PM Thread Starter
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ok, lets just start imagining all the fun things we can do with people. and by fun, i dont mean stuff they find fun, but stuff AJ finds fun. it will be quite fun thinking about fun!

I see, and then once we got a good idea of these, we keep trying to make it so until it happens, starting with the easiest, and hence, begin forming a good opinion of others with evidence to back it up.

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post #49 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 02:48 PM Thread Starter
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alright, were going to a social gathering on friday the 12th, and after running a simulation of it in the imagination, there has been a very negative response to AJ's friends there. yin, I thought you were going to give some leeway here, please explain what your feeling.

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post #50 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
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I intend to create a negative vibe to ruin the entire experience for everyone, until they give AJ the love and attention he deserves! I dont see what the problem here is, I will be simply comunicating discontent at their lack of interest in AJ. and you know they dont give a **** about AJ, so I will make them suffer with my bitterness until they do!

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post #51 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 02:55 PM Thread Starter
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I intend to create a negative vibe to ruin the entire experience for everyone, until they give AJ the love and attention he deserves! I dont see what the problem here is, I will be simply comunicating discontent at their lack of interest in AJ. and you know they dont give a **** about AJ, so I will make them suffer with my bitterness until they do!

yes, Ive seen this before in AJ and in others. Trying to create pity, playing the victim. In the end it would seem self-defeating as it annoys them to the point where they dont want to be anywhere around AJ. You said you would give yang a chance here.

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post #52 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 02:57 PM Thread Starter
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yes, Ive seen this before in AJ and in others. Trying to create pity, playing the victim. In the end it would seem self-defeating as it annoys them to the point where they dont want to be anywhere around AJ. You said you would give yang a chance here.

yang will care for them, and they dont deserve that! they dont care about AJ, and they ignore AJ. And I will make them pay for what they have done!

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post #53 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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yang will care for them, and they dont deserve that! they dont care about AJ, and they ignore AJ. And I will make them pay for what they have done!

we did this for years! remember? all it did was push everyone away!
there are people playing the victim with AJ now and they arent very fun to be around!

it doesnt have to be like this, we can all have fun and be happy together, we can all enjoy each others company.

listen, heres how it can go: AJ shows up there, meets up with friends, fullfills his curiousity as to what they've been up to, expresses stuff AJ's been up to, tell a few jokees, have some laughs and just enjoy seeing what happens at the event. AJ can leave at anytime if he's bored, its just for enjoyment.

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post #54 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 03:13 PM Thread Starter
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well this is interesting, isnt it. throughout this entire thread AJ has felt fully commited to being negative, then suddenly after some reasoning, the negativity is gone.

just now I felt like I must go to this outing and be angry and upset, and it simply has to be that way because it is right! and now going there and being a pleasant happy enjoyable person seems much more correct.

This strange irrational outburst of negativity must be examined further. It seems very common among people. logically, if people dont like you, the ideal response to change their mind would be to be more positive and fun. however, instead there seems to be a very negative response, quite often.

it makes no sense. We will run the simulation again, and yin, I want you to feel free to express any negativity you feel about any of it. Just let it all out. I will examine you while you do this.

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post #55 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 03:26 PM Thread Starter
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Its not about whats rational, its about whats fair!


They all have close relationships! why was AJ left out!

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post #56 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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Its not about whats rational, its about whats fair!


They all have close relationships! why was AJ left out!

a desire to have close relationships is present. It appears futile to achieve with positive means. Therefore the mind resorts back to what has always worked, fighting for whats fair. Growing up everything had to be fair with AJ and his sibling, if not, the parents were scolded until it was made fair.

Yin is AJs worst side, built for attack only, hence Yin is put in charge of the attack. I understand. Fighting for ones rights is important, but the positive approach has been overlooked, even avoided.

The flaw is seeing the futility of being positive. It is not futile. We've seen many people use it successfully and I just need you to give it a chance.

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.
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post #57 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 03:39 PM Thread Starter
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life isnt going to be fair all the time, but we can make it fun! trust me, just stick with me, no matter how hopeless it seems. yin, we stuck with you for AJ's whole life, even though you've consistantly failed to get results. All I ask is for the same opportunity. Intelligence agrees that Im the best guy for the job, and he is the smartest of us, thats his job, to be smart! :P

yin, I know you wanna hurt everyone, but just let me show you how caring and fun they can be, and you'll never wanna hurt them again

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post #58 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 07:21 PM Thread Starter
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life isnt going to be fair all the time, but we can make it fun! trust me, just stick with me, no matter how hopeless it seems. yin, we stuck with you for AJ's whole life, even though you've consistantly failed to get results. All I ask is for the same opportunity. Intelligence agrees that Im the best guy for the job, and he is the smartest of us, thats his job, to be smart! :P

yin, I know you wanna hurt everyone, but just let me show you how caring and fun they can be, and you'll never wanna hurt them again

you sound so meaningless, so fake.

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post #59 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 07:27 PM Thread Starter
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you're not going to give yang a chance are you. Its not in your nature, you are yin, you dont give anyone a chance.

Fine then, hate them. hate everyone you can. hate with all your might. be as bitter as you can be. make it so

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.
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post #60 of 127 (permalink) Old 01-31-2010, 07:29 PM Thread Starter
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come on, what you waiting for, give me some hatred, some fear, some depression. anything you got, just make it as painful as possible. Thats what you want right? Theres no reasoning with you, so just do as you wish. make it so

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