my therapist disaproves of this website - Page 5 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #81 of 94 (permalink) Old 01-14-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I think this website is good. It will help people realize they are not alone and a freak with their problems. You can find out about therapies that have worked. You can find out about drugs that can help, drug interactions, positive stories. Also, some psychiatrists dont understand doses, or know of all side effects of meds. I only discovered from forums that Paxil can cause weight gain and also make people crave alcohol. I also didnt know many SSRIs can stop working after some years. I didnt know that if you stop then start again the same SSRI is may not work for you again, and this is what has happened to me thanks to an idiot GP who said paxil was making my gums bleed when it was gingivitis which was cleared up by another GP with a simple course of antibiotics.
But I think trying to be positive, and posting positive ideas and stories is best.
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post #82 of 94 (permalink) Old 01-29-2008, 11:00 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I think this site is great if you don't spend too much time posting topics in frustration. Although it can feel nice to get things off your chest sometimes. I'm trying to stay mostly on the goal setting, Triumphs Over Social Anxiety, and positive thinking boards.
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post #83 of 94 (permalink) Old 01-29-2008, 11:17 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I agree with the whole "It's good to know we're not alone" thing.
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post #84 of 94 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:42 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


SAS is a double-edged sword. There's potential for addiction. Additionally, the existence of SAS removes some of the impetus to socialize, perhaps making me less willing to go out into the real world and make connections.

That being said, SAS has helped me enormously since I joined some 16 months ago. Having people I could talk with, relate to, and trust has gotten me through some very hard times. I've also been able to express myself here. Without SAS I would have ended up desperately lonely and probably even more misanthropic than I am now.

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post #85 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-02-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Im new to this forum but I feel ok talking about my troubles here. Being able to open up at all to anyone ever.... its a start and I dont see it as a bad thing.
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post #86 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 03:26 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I never thought I'd agree with your therapist, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut...telling ourselves sad stories over and over is not productive. Hopefully if you do visit this site you have other outlets to try expose yourself to happy stories and make some happy stories of your own.

Anxiety-free since a quarter a' three...
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post #87 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-01-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I talked to my therapist about this web site and even logged on for her. She liked it. She felt that as long as it's moderated for peeps with S.I. on the mind (and it is), its a great site.
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post #88 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-12-2008, 05:29 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I have to say I agree with your therapist because I find I just get carried away with all these posting that I waste too much of my time reading and answering them when I feel like I could be doing something more productive (whatever it may be)

I find that you can find youself stuck in a rut if all you do is complain about it day and night and use this as a back up to keep you in that rut as everyone here will confirm your feelings of rejectoin and fear. I have to admit though it is a good place to come just to complain and get whatever off your chest, seeing that its hard for people like us to open up to anyone as we feel so different and are afraid of what people will think of us and feel like they can't realate to us. So in that case its good but for me I find I can get myself in a worse rut by staying there and not doing anything. I think "social phobics" have to learn to challenge their fears or face their fears in order to get over them. Take me for example. I feel like its hard for me to face reality. I live in a bubble. I fee like l have to put on a show in front of everybody so that I wont look wiered and so I can feel liked by others. However, by not really asserting myself and being me it keeps me safe, but it also keeps me stuck there as a "people pleaser" or a "social phobic" because I'm too afraid of rejection from people that I feel I have to put on an act just for people to like me. I think this is sad and works against me because I can't be real and open with anyone lest they find out who I am and not like me. But I guess it goes to show better they not like me for who I am than to like me for whom I not. I'm sure there will always be people who will like you for who you are and those who wont. You just have to weed those ones out and find the ones that will so you can have an open and real relationship.

I read in this book called "The feeling good handbook" about this guy named Jed who had social anxiety. His biggest fear was letting people know how neverous he felt when he was around others and the therapists advice for Jed was exactly that. For him to open up to others and let them know that he felt anxious and nervous around them and let them know he had social anxiety. Jed's thoughts were to this was "no way jose" . He felt that people would think he's wieried for saying that and think that he's a real wimp. Well I can totally understand Jeds feelings as most people who feel socially anxious dont want people to know that. I guess the therapists advice was to tell Jed to disclose how he felt to people instead of trying to hide it so that people could understand him better and I guess to stop Jed from trying to be this cool , confident person who is cool with the ladies, in other words a "false self" while really hes a shy, timid person. I agree to a certain extent with this. No one wants to feel and look like a stupid timid fool around others but maybe if you let people know that you are extremely anxious and afraid it may tear down some walls and maybe they will be more understading towards you. I dont know I've never tried this. I definitely do believe that we all want to be this cool confident person around people so I guess we have to work on it by dispelling all the negative thoughts about ourselves especailly in social situations. I guess we just have to work on it harder than others. Forexample I'm guessing that most people have more social encountrs with others so they probably feel most socially adequate compared to people with SAD who keep themselves away from others. Therefore we keep ourselves stuck there and don't venture out with social opportunities because of these fears, therefore have less friends and less expericence socially.

I think I would have to challenge my fears and thinking by just doing the things I fear. Forexample I'm petrified to ask a guy out that I think is hot because of rejection and the fact that I feel so weak and inferior to others, especially to some hot looking guy. So maybe if I just let myself be me and go up to him and maybe strike up a conversation and see where it goes, it might break me out of that fear. He could be a jerk and ignore me or something or maybe he would talk to me .( geese just knowing how scared and insecure I feel around others would totally scare me way) Now I now that thats an extreme case cus I think most people are afraid to go up to a stranger they think is hot and just strike up a converstaion as it is nerve wracking. No one wants to put there self out there to get rejected or anything but the up side if you do it is that you can say you did it. I just know its harder for people like us cus we are so self consious. You have nothing to lose whether he likes you or not. Atleast you tried even it even if he rejects you. Just try not to take it personal or anything and be able to walk away a move on whether or not they reject you. You never know you might hit gold and find that he is in to you.
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post #89 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-13-2008, 12:49 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I didn't read all the pages, but does your therapist realize that there are people on this forum that have actually gotten over SA almost completly, and can give advice on their experiences on it? Or how about people who been through similar experiences that you have and can tell you advice on how to deal with it? Not everyone comes hear to just vent and tell everyone how horrible their life is.
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post #90 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-13-2008, 04:10 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6
I didn't read all the pages, but does your therapist realize that there are people on this forum that have actually gotten over SA almost completly, and can give advice on their experiences on it? Or how about people who been through similar experiences that you have and can tell you advice on how to deal with it? Not everyone comes hear to just vent and tell everyone how horrible their life is.
Exactly.

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post #91 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-13-2008, 06:50 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by ardrum
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6
I didn't read all the pages, but does your therapist realize that there are people on this forum that have actually gotten over SA almost completly, and can give advice on their experiences on it? Or how about people who been through similar experiences that you have and can tell you advice on how to deal with it? Not everyone comes hear to just vent and tell everyone how horrible their life is.
Exactly.


I bought and read an excellent book "Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia" by Ronald Rapee. As the book states, just reading it wont help me. I must do the practices. I know about this book from this site. Ross recommended it.
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post #92 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-13-2008, 08:17 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


The whole "I'm not alone" factor can only last so long. In the end, it's all just online and an illusion. I think this place has high potential to drag one down and shouldn't be relied on especially if you're depressed.

This forum doesn't have much of an impact on me even with the advice given to each other. It doesn't really motivate or support me either. It is good to know there are SA'ers around and the people here are nice. I can rely on this place as another board to kill time when I need to. That's about it.
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post #93 of 94 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


"This website gives a sense of community which is very valuable"
"I find the negativity affects me and I have to be careful about which topics I read"
Absolutely agree
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post #94 of 94 (permalink) Old 04-15-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I find that posting things to make people feel better and helping them out makes me feel good about myself that even though I have social anxiety I can do things to help others get over it. It also gives people a chance to find new ways of treatment, gives support and lets people vent. It provides a community of people who understand and care. It can make people sad but if used correctly this site is very important and helpful to many people.
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