my therapist disaproves of this website - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-14-2007, 07:20 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


without this website i would never have known i had SA and I figured i was just a weirdo and an outkast, all alone. Now i know there is others out there like me and Ive even met a bunch and made some good friends and a gf.




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post #42 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-15-2007, 06:37 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I wouldn't pay much attention to the therapist, if I were you Mngirl.

Someone on here said that they learn social skills on this forum, I believe it was Lisa, and I feel the same way. I use the forums to test out alot of my core beliefs, by posting stuff that I normally wouldn't say in real life just to see how people respond. I keep track of the results and have been noticing that alot of my dire predictions don't come true at all. I challenge myself on the forum socially-speaking and know that the skills that I learn here I can use in real life.

I think the sas board is a safe place to learn, to vent, to do whatever you want. The moderators are pretty good at keeping this place clean and safe for us too, so that's another advantage.

It's nice to be able to come here and just be yourself...it's becoming more and more like a second home to me, if that makes any sense.

If I were you, I wouldn't pay much attention to him...there's lots to do and to learn here, if you use it to your advantage.

What you think is what you get....
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post #43 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-15-2007, 11:30 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Have any therapists ever posted on SAS? I don't care if it has been years... Has it ever happened before?

While I think I can actually somewhat agree with the "spirit" of what the therapist was driving at, I am in disagreement with every other aspect. Like others have said, this forum is not simply a place for people to complain to each other and strengthen each other's insecurities.

What I agree with is the idea that dramatizing our problems by blowing them out of proportion is not helpful in our recovery. This is a distortion of reality that perpetuates the irrational cycle. But to blame the forum is misguided because the forum doesn't cause people to complain. If it didn't exist, the complaining would simply manifest in a different manner.

In addition, there are quite a lot of available resources available here for managing and reducing anxiety. There are quite a lot of confident/positive people here who share what they've done to improve the quality of their lives. That there are benefits to this site is undeniable, as I've improved after using many resources available here (and interacting with others).

Ask your therapist to visit the whole forum, not just one section, before drawing a sweeping conclusion about the value of this site. This is only fair, and the therapist would have to agree if he/she has any interest in making informed statements.

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post #44 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-15-2007, 09:54 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I think this board is yet another form of therapy in some ways. Even a survey on social anxiety treatment included internet boards as a form of help.
Some responses on this board have offered differing opinions which can open up your mind. Often there are answers that actually help along the road to solving a problem.
I'm not saying your therapist is bad, but there are good and bad therapists just like there's good and bad random advice on a board.
Another thing is that self-expression will often be negative just to vent sometimes - if we're all pretending to be happy all the time it's just not going to ring true. It's a support board so someone says they're feeling bad then someone else will come and comfort them or offer advice - that in itself is therapeutic.
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post #45 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-15-2007, 11:47 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I have to agree with tomcoldaba said about "The therapist is worried about his income and the competition this forum offers him." I think it's challenging the sense of authority that some therapists get.

I don't see why this site is problem. It's not meant to take the place of therapy, just be an additional source of support and education.

I spent the first 28 years of my life thinking I was the only one who had this. Finding out I'm not that I'm not the only one was a huge weight of my shoulders, and something I don't think therapy could have provided. Even though I don't post often, I found that knowing that there are people that here that can genuinely empathize, not just talk about what they've learned from books, to be enormously helpful and comforting.
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post #46 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 12:53 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


You doctor is right in a small way. Eventually when anyone on this site starts who to work on themselves and begin to properly cope with disorder should leave this site behind. I think this site is good for a person if they are just starting out to change their life but if they are here constantly without trying to get better unfortunately i think they are just spinning their wheels in the mud (getting nowhere fast)
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post #47 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-17-2007, 06:30 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Or, y'know, making friends.

I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I am the son and heir of nothing in particular.

You shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.
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post #48 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-17-2007, 09:14 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


There is something to be said about having good friends in real life.

"Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea; but you're not anywhere near the sea. You're in the desert. Alone."
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post #49 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 06:31 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Not everyone has that option.

I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I am the son and heir of nothing in particular.

You shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.
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post #50 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 10:55 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


If you find the right people, it is great.

"Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea; but you're not anywhere near the sea. You're in the desert. Alone."
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post #51 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 12:43 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mngirl
I hope I dont get people upset by this, but my therapist thinks that this website is a bad idea becuause all of our minds think exactly alike (well very similar) so its kind of like the blind leading the blind. He didnt say it in that way, but that is what I gathered. He thinks its a bad idea because we cant really help eachother by just complaining to eachother, it will just make us more depressed. I agree that it doesnt help much to just complain to eachother, but i think if we can try to stay positive and focus on getting better rather than posting things like "i cant live anymore" it will be better for all of us.

I agree that it feels good to post an "outburst" of frustration on here much like it feels good to journal but unfortunately it puts the reader of the post at a disadvantage to getting better.
You'll find links to this site on many a Dr's webpage as well as in a few books.
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post #52 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 01:37 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Have you all noticed that we have a new member whose name is 'therapist'?
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post #53 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 02:18 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa
Have you all noticed that we have a new member whose name is 'therapist'?
Yeah, but don't expect him/her to hang around too long. "Therapist" seems to just be popping in to check out some of our shame-attacking threads (which I find very scary, yet fun). I was still surprised to see any therapists join the site, as I have never seen that happen before.

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post #54 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 02:34 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I don't think he works in mental health. I think he read this thread and presto! a name that gets you noticed
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post #55 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 03:02 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa
I don't think he works in mental health. I think he read this thread and presto! a name that gets you noticed
He claimed he did, at least.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... 59#p783359

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He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #56 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


There are way too many underlying and unknown assumptions to your therapist's way too broad and generalizing opinion/conclusion about this board's overall effect on a person- to even address. Like for one that it is mostly comprised of so called complaining and depressed ruminations.

At a risk of sounding too Zen (but that is me): There is good and bad to everything. You obviously posted this because you wanted to hear the various opinions. You have read of the (very well put)benefits and also the negative aspects. But the key is: YOUR perception. How do YOU perceive and react to this board? Do YOU think/feel it is more beneficial to you than detrimental? Your opinion can change over time as well.

It is an individual thing. You have to make that determination and not your therapist. For me this board has more benefits right now: not feeling alone in this, learning of other's experiences, learning of resources and techniques to try, etc. And voicing frustrations, esp. to others who understand what you are you going through, is necessary to human well-being. (This is such a No-Brainer to me.)

Your therapist's opinion seems to extend to an underlying conclusion about all support groups. Being that SA is such a misunderstood animal, a person may have to go through several therapists to find one that is knowledgeable and right for them. Just a thought...
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post #57 of 94 (permalink) Old 10-18-2007, 03:29 PM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by ardrum
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa
I don't think he works in mental health. I think he read this thread and presto! a name that gets you noticed
He claimed he did, at least.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... 59#p783359
I could be wrong of course.
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post #58 of 94 (permalink) Old 11-16-2007, 04:12 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Maybe your psychiatrist is partially right. But that doesn't change the fact that he hasn't given you any advice that would help you. If he really disapproves of this forum, ask what you should do in place of this when you are looking for support. I'll be honest, I go here because it is a compulsion of mine and I don't know what else to do. So someone simply telling me not to come to this forum is pretty unhelpful unless they want me staring at the wlals.

Obviously, your therapist cant be with you all the time. He should be more helpful. Don't be afraid to get mad at your therapist. It's good to see how he reacts, and then maybe you can get a better judge of him.

Get some fresh air. It will do you good.
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post #59 of 94 (permalink) Old 11-16-2007, 06:56 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutnutnut
I agree, this website is not helpful, it's just whines and complaints. Funny this is, nobody even asks for help, they just whine. Ask for help people >.>
Funny you should say that cause I answered a post from someone who asked for help, I tried to stay positive and offer my support but I got accused of being a therapist who is pretending to have SA, lol, I just couldn't believe that!!

Overall it's therapeutic venting out your frustration but overall I think we all have to focus on getting better and helping each other with some positive posts instead of focusing on the negative all the time. And as for the therapist saying that it's not a good idea to go on these websites, it's only natural us SA sufferers want to feel reassured that we are not the only ones going through this so in turn I think this website is OK for that reason, it reassures us that others are in the same boat as ourselves and that we are not struggling all by ourselves, I really think it is important for us to know that, cause we do feel alone with this warped SA!
I hope more of us can focus on getting better rather than staying in the pit, cause the pit is not that fun at all.

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post #60 of 94 (permalink) Old 11-16-2007, 07:30 AM
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Re: my therapist disaproves of this website


I think its a case of catch 22 for some people. We come here for support and to be reminded we are not alone battling this mental setback, yet at the same time, it doesn't really help you focus on fighting it. Though, i don't know... I do think that just the mere fact that we can all relate can be therapy in itself. I think it's your choice whether you want to look at it as the blind leading the blind. It's all how you utilize the site. Don' treat it as an escape, treat it as a place to gain advice and grow. It is easy to fall into the wallow in self pity hole and bring people with you, but there are plenty of people who encourage eachother to move on.

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