I love my therapist - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2020, 03:16 PM Thread Starter
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I love my therapist


I fall in love with my therapist. Should I tell him?
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2020, 03:18 PM
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Yes, you should tell him.

It's not uncommon in therapy and it is important that he knows how you feel.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2020, 03:56 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks, Lisa.

How can I say it? I am scared of it
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 09:51 AM
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I believe this is what they call "theraputic transference". so you could tell him you feel that way and see what he says.


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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 02:25 PM
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No. That’s creepy. They are just doing their job. They rarely care about their patients on a personal level (and if they did, it would be very predatory and exploitative, so it’s a good thing), they just want to help you through your mental illness. Please try to meet people out of therapy because this love will never be.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 04:20 PM
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It's extremely common for people to develop feelings for their therapist. Google it. Therapists know how to deal with it and deal with it All. The. Time. Lol.

Sad truth is, sometimes therapists are the first person someone has ever opened up to, the first one that's ever listened, cared, treated them well, attuned to them, been supportive, encouraging, etc. And sometimes clients then confuse that very real human need for positive attention with feelings of being in love (when in reality they know very little or nothing about the therapist personally.)

This is a great opportunity for growth in therapy and I definitely encourage you to bring it up. Again, this is fairly common and there's nothing wrong with feelings, though they may be a bit misplaced. In these conversations the therapist can help you figure why you feel this way and what needs may have been neglected such that you'd feel strong, romantic feelings for someone you know nothing about.

Edit- feelings are fine, expressing them is fine, just obviously behave respectfully.

Overcoming inertia.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 04:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklingWater View Post
It's extremely common for people to develop feelings for their therapist. Google it. Therapists know how to deal with it and deal with it All. The. Time. Lol.

Sad truth is, sometimes therapists are the first person someone has ever opened up to, the first one that's ever listened, cared, treated them well, attuned to them, been supportive, encouraging, etc. And sometimes clients then confuse that very real human need for positive attention with feelings of being in love (when in reality they know very little or nothing about the therapist personally.)

This is a great opportunity for growth in therapy and I definitely encourage you to bring it up. Again, this is fairly common and there's nothing wrong with feelings, though they may be a bit misplaced. In these conversations the therapist can help you figure why you feel this way and what needs may have been neglected such that you'd feel strong, romantic feelings for someone you know nothing about.

Edit- feelings are fine, expressing them is fine, just obviously behave respectfully.
^^This. Very well-said
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-17-2020, 12:55 PM
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Echoing what others are saying, it's not uncommon - after all, you're sharing some personal stuff with someone, perhaps for the first time! This might be the first person who took the time to listen, and people appreciate that a lot. But they are professionals doing their job out of duty, so it's not really appropriate to pursue a relationship. You can be open with it or not, that's up to you. Best thing you can do is appreciate that you've found someone that listens to you - that's priceless

<3
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2020, 05:16 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, everyone.

I brought it up to my therapist. I couldn't say it, so I sent an email to him. I just said "I like you. Please help me to sort out my feeling."
He was very nice and professional. He deals with my feeling. He said that it was transference, it is common and is nothing to be ashamed of. We discussed about it, and I understood the meaning of my feeling for him. I feel better. Also, I was worried that he would leave me because of it, but he is still my therapist.
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