How should I hit on my psychologist? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 91 (permalink) Old 03-17-2013, 08:49 PM
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First instinct is to say that you have a friend with severe oral anxiety who needs intense one on one sessions, his name is dick and he lives right under your belt.

but being serious way to go arthur, sounds like this could be very helpful and it went well so far, hopefully next time is even better. I wish I tried something like this (just not with the 50yr old psych I had) lol.

only thing I'd be weary of is getting in some way attached to her and the attention, because it can happen pretty subtlety and quickly if you aren't talking to anyone else
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post #42 of 91 (permalink) Old 03-21-2013, 10:41 AM
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I would flip her over my knee for a good spanking. She definately needs it.
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post #43 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-07-2013, 02:42 PM Thread Starter
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So this is what happened on Thursday:

As I had predicted it, we didn't end up having time to do the role playing. She asked me how I've been and I answered that awful, since the most of the last weeks I've been pretty much only shifting between overwhelming stress about school or overwhelming episodes of depression. She pointed out that more than depression sounded like melancholic episodes product of my cognitive distortions. I agree with her but in any case she told me that whenever I'm feeling like that, instead of just sit here letting the misery eat me up, I must distract myself with whatever activity, preferably by going outside. Seems pretty damn obvious but when I'm in that state I barely can think.

Exploring those cognitive distortions she asked me to tell her my qualities... and I got mute. I don't consider myself the worst thing around, but neither I see anything remarkable about me, just average; and I feel quite uncomfortable complimenting myself. Although when I achieve some things I'm capable of be proud of myself. It's hard for me to distinguish the line between modesty and self loathing. Trying to get over that I told her that I'm a good listener, responsible, and willing to help others. Then we discussed that if many different people keeps telling me that I am intelligent, that if I'm one of the very few who hasn't failed a course in my class and I'm doing great in what many people consider a very difficult career, I must accept that I'm an intelligent person, so I have to say "I am intelligent" instead of "people say I'm intelligent". She made the distinction that I'm intellectually intelligent, but I have a lot to do on my emotional intelligence (the way I see it I'm freaking retarded when it comes to that one). After telling her as well my defects (I emphasized my impatience), she also said that I need to improve my introspection, because if I only focus on the bad things, and of course that's wrong.

Then I told her how uncomfortable I had felt in the previous exercise at the end when I was the most flirty, and how I had felt very lame, fake, and manipulative. She got my point and explained me that I missed the part when she said that at that point we were pretending that we already knew each other for a while, as she agrees with me that going and complimenting someone you just knew as if you knew them deeply is plain lame and won't work for a thing. She made clear once again at when I just get to know someone I only have to be friendly and look out for common interests and experiences. Here she gave me my first assignment, which is to to read a chapter of a book about introspection and based on that make a more detailed analysis of myself. Along with that she also told me to look for a motivational quote or make one myself and repeat it to me 40 times each day for a week, and then use another quote. That way it's supposed to start breaking the negativity rooted in my mind.

Once again she asked me if there's any girl around who could be interested in me. After all the fuss made by some people I do see her insistence about the subject kinda dodgy, but I just said no and forgot to say that unless the girl would tell it directly to me, I simply won't realize. And then it got ugly... for me. She gave me a final assignment. She asked me if then there's any girl at my university who had called my attention, I told her that there are a couple, so her answer was that during at least a week, every day I have to approach two girls and greet them with a hi, a good morning or whatever, in the same way you greet a neighbour passing by (just to clarify they'd be all the time the same two girls). I knew an assignment like this will eventually come, and it absolutely terrifies me. A very important part of the process we're making is that I need to stop living in function of others and stop worrying so much about what would they think of me, and do things for myself, because I want to, without limiting myself so much by making assumptions about others. This seems even more evident because that's exactly why this assignment scares me so much.

I simply can't stop worrying about what would these girls think if a complete stranger (who they may or not have seen around, but I think that's irrelevant) approaches them and out of the blue greets them for no apparent reason. All I can think about is that they will find it very strange, assume an attitude of "wtf is up with this guy" and conclude that I'm trying to hit on them on a very clumsy and lame way. I'm aware of how I am jumping into conclusions here, but I'm incapable of imagining them reacting positively or indifferently to a complete stranger doing that (the psych warned me about the obvious possibility that neither of them could answer, but I do have to at least try). I get very nervous by just thinking about it, and the prospect of not trying and face the psychologist after that makes me quite nervous as well. As you can see, I can't think of the reasons of why I should do the assignment but why other would want me to do it or not. I have three weeks to do this, so I think I will check first the book thing to see if it gives me any insight to clam myself. Finally, she told me "and remember that we still have pending the second role playing, you're not gonna save yourself from it".

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post #44 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 03:38 PM
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Uhmm....no, just...no.

I actually have some experience with this. I went to third base with my psychiatrist, when I was 16 years old. It happened in her office. She ended up resigning (or getting fired, I'm not sure which). She's the one that came forward and told everyone. I lived in a small town, so it was a very big deal.

Trust me, you DONT want to do this. It's a really, really, really bad idea.
Thats a trip dude cuz afterwards you have to pay her right? so... isnt it like you kinda bought a prostitute that kinda cheated you out of your money...Idk i thought it was interesting: the similarities.

As for the role playing well if you are gonna go through with it i suggest first introducing your self, ask what she's into or does, and tell her that you think she's attractive and get her number. You are just hitting on her not trying to **** her on the couch so i do not think you should really be trying that much physical contact. I think the most physical contact that would be acceptable would be maybe a hand on her waist since the role play would be that of a stranger right?
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post #45 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-18-2013, 10:36 PM
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Well, after reading your thread I have to comment your dilemma related to your second assignment.. Seeing as it's already 12 days into this, you might have already done it.
However, I just want to point out that saying hello to a stranger does not have to be that big of a deal to them. People without troubles of the mind tend to think less (or worry less) about such things, because they don't have to. So a mere hello from a stranger won't matter too much to them. Maybe they do find it strange, and maybe they initially won't respond out of shock (depends a lot on how common this is in your culture and such). But they won't give it any more thought than that. And if you say hello repeatedly (a friendly gesture) they might get a positive feeling towards you, you are after all being polite and friendly. It often just takes some getting used to. They won't automatically assume you're hitting on them and that you're bad at it. Even if the thought crosses their mind, it will only be for a second; and girls are insecure too, so they won't necessarily accept that as the truth. I think, when approaching girls in your situation, small and friendly gestures like that can be of great help. You'll eventually feel more comfortable with it and be able to take larger steps. It might be good to give this some practice online, though, if you're open to this.. Sign up at a site and innocently befriend and maybe make small and flirty gestures.
Either way, like your psychologist says, the first step should be getting to know a girl as a friend and then looking for some form of common ground through interests or experiences.

I hope this works out for you, but if you need any specific advice feel free to ask.

Since I have some of the same problems as you, I'll tell you how I approach this.
First and foremost, I'll contact someone I like with an excuse. It can be anything from something to do with studies to something related to the situation ("is this seat taken?", "Is the professor sick today or?" things like that). Afterwards I judge whether or not they seem perceptive to me contacting them; you can kinda tell if someone is judging you, open to you or simply insecure or shy. If you can't tell, then I suggest you try to pick up on some body language signs and voice signs; their tone, if they look relaxed when answering you and such. If the result is positive I will look for more opportunities in the near future to approach them.. And then I try to be friendly with them and ask them questions to keep the conversation flowing. It might work and it might lead to something like a Facebook add, in which case it's easier to do these things online.

As for flirting with your psychologist, the only steps I'd take would be to approach her (in the role play mode) in a friendly manner, ask her about friendly things, and try to look for an opening (the greatest sign of interest is when someone tries to let you know that you guys might have something in common or that they express interest.. Example: I like this book I'm reading right now (title) Girl: What's it about? It sounds really interest. Sometimes also hints about future in a joking sense "We should boycott this assignment together!" - an including gesture, and of course informing you that they have qualities you seek). I hope any of this can be of help, I know I'm a bit messy when trying to give advice so if something didn't make sense feel free to ask me to rephrase or elaborate.

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post #46 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-19-2013, 12:36 AM
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post #47 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-19-2013, 01:55 AM
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This is completely inappropriate. I can't believe you would even start a thread about this.

What foolishness.

I don't agree. It's a strange circumstance and it's good that he's looking for advice.

I was totally conflicted about what to feel about this. However, based on the OP's description of what happened, it does sound like this woman is genuinely trying to get him out of his comfort zone, and not doing anything dodgy.

Just if it gets weird I'd get out of there...
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post #48 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-26-2013, 09:41 AM Thread Starter
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Well, after reading your thread I have to comment your dilemma related to your second assignment.. Seeing as it's already 12 days into this, you might have already done it.
However, I just want to point out that saying hello to a stranger does not have to be that big of a deal to them. People without troubles of the mind tend to think less (or worry less) about such things, because they don't have to. So a mere hello from a stranger won't matter too much to them. Maybe they do find it strange, and maybe they initially won't respond out of shock (depends a lot on how common this is in your culture and such). But they won't give it any more thought than that. And if you say hello repeatedly (a friendly gesture) they might get a positive feeling towards you, you are after all being polite and friendly. It often just takes some getting used to. They won't automatically assume you're hitting on them and that you're bad at it. Even if the thought crosses their mind, it will only be for a second; and girls are insecure too, so they won't necessarily accept that as the truth. I think, when approaching girls in your situation, small and friendly gestures like that can be of great help. You'll eventually feel more comfortable with it and be able to take larger steps. It might be good to give this some practice online, though, if you're open to this.. Sign up at a site and innocently befriend and maybe make small and flirty gestures.
Either way, like your psychologist says, the first step should be getting to know a girl as a friend and then looking for some form of common ground through interests or experiences.

I hope this works out for you, but if you need any specific advice feel free to ask.

Since I have some of the same problems as you, I'll tell you how I approach this.
First and foremost, I'll contact someone I like with an excuse. It can be anything from something to do with studies to something related to the situation ("is this seat taken?", "Is the professor sick today or?" things like that). Afterwards I judge whether or not they seem perceptive to me contacting them; you can kinda tell if someone is judging you, open to you or simply insecure or shy. If you can't tell, then I suggest you try to pick up on some body language signs and voice signs; their tone, if they look relaxed when answering you and such. If the result is positive I will look for more opportunities in the near future to approach them.. And then I try to be friendly with them and ask them questions to keep the conversation flowing. It might work and it might lead to something like a Facebook add, in which case it's easier to do these things online.

As for flirting with your psychologist, the only steps I'd take would be to approach her (in the role play mode) in a friendly manner, ask her about friendly things, and try to look for an opening (the greatest sign of interest is when someone tries to let you know that you guys might have something in common or that they express interest.. Example: I like this book I'm reading right now (title) Girl: What's it about? It sounds really interest. Sometimes also hints about future in a joking sense "We should boycott this assignment together!" - an including gesture, and of course informing you that they have qualities you seek). I hope any of this can be of help, I know I'm a bit messy when trying to give advice so if something didn't make sense feel free to ask me to rephrase or elaborate.
For some reason I didn't saw there were new replies here :/ I wasn't capable to do it, but still thanks for the advice

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I'm not bipolar <.<


.......................


Yesterday I saw the psychologist again. There wasn't this time either a flirting role playing so if that's what you were hoping to read you can carry on with your things. She started asking me how I've been, specially since the academic load was being really hard for me the last time we saw each other. I told her it's been normal and bearable again, and then I told her how that first week since the last appointment I felt quite well, controlling better my emotions and not having melancholic episodes, but then after the moving that weekend I got distracted by the stress of it and stopped doing the part of telling myself several times a day a motivational line; the two following weeks were quite stressful since I was pending if I saw the girls at college, I barely saw them alone, and failing to do the assignment made me feel really bad about myself. She asked me if I've kept getting these melancholic episodes, I told her they have been less frequent, and as she asked me, I explained her that these episodes are usually triggered when either I see a girl talking about someone she likes, or when a guy finds someone without making any apparent effort, while I have to do it the hard way by approaching complete strangers. From this point she wanted to make a review of what we've been doing. She made clear that her purpose is not to change me and make me an extroverted outgoing person, she said that I do not need to change who I am, but I need to realize that my fears and cognitive distortions are not a part of me, and that I can be freely myself if I make my part and let her help me. She said as well that I need to expand my perspective about myself and see more than the bad things, while at the same time, stop focusing so much on others and comparing myself to them, also remembering me that she just want me to face my fears by saying hi to the girls, not to win them and get a girlfriend right away.

Among other things, when I mentioned once again how I have this two main thoughts that are screwing me for the post part: this two ideas, that I am aware are false, are that every single time I interact with a woman in any other context outside a formal one (like business, work, academic, bureaucracy...), she'll instantly assume that I'm hitting on her, and the second idea is that she won't like at all me hitting on her. As I said that I was clueless where did those thought exactly came from, she concluded (quiet well if you ask me) that when those classmates bothered me 18 years ago for having my female friend, there was where I got the idea that everyone will assume that just by talking to them I'm hitting on a girl; and my assumption that they won't like being approached by me comes from my low self esteem. She told me that to be honest, most women will entertain the thought that if a stranger approaches them it's quite likely that he did it with a romantic intention, and they may even overthink about it, but as I need to keep remembering, what others think should not be my main concern, and also most people do enjoy that sort of attention. Then she told me that with my height and overall looks I make an impact and cause a first good impression, but all that gets lost when I don't say a word and don't make eye contact. She also said many women will find the shyness and introversion attractive as long as I show confidence, not as a man that never fails or pretends to do so, but as a man that is not afraid of failing. She said that my intelligence, maturity and culture will be greatly appreciated, but I need to don't be afraid of be myself to show that, without showing off. She asked me about my academic performance, and told me that I can be as proud and confident of the rest of myself as I am as a student.

Continuing with the self analysis part, I said that although I see the point in the classical "if you want, you can", I wonder if the people who say that have actually ever faced a paralysing fear, I mean, is not like I'm making excuses, I do want to change, and I'd like to believe that I'm committed to it, but that quote seems simplistic to me, and yet I told her I was afraid she would thought I'm not committed enough and therefore wouldn't want to help me anymore. But she calmed me saying that she completely understands that changing it's not easy, and even if I don't see it I'm making progress, because although I didn't faced my fears directly yet, I am aware of what I have to do and I've been understanding the process. Here I remembered and told her that I actually was quite decided to talk to both girls at some point but unfortunately they had left by the moment I was about to do it, and explained her that I don't feel I can do it if there's a guy or more than two girls around them. She understood and told me that it's ok, she won't ask me to approach them in the middle of a crowd, and I can do it just when I feel comfortable about, just that I need to not stop to think that much or I'll keep wasting opportunities, and that we'll work later on how to do it without me minding so much not only the person I'm talking to but also the surrounding ones. She insisted that she wants me to be free, not to be a different person, and then instructed me to read more about the book and made the respective self analysis. Here I asked her, doubtfully and sort of mumbling about the role playing part, since I feel like doing it and have some ideas about how to make it, despite how nervous it makes me, and she told me that we can and we will do it some other time, but that without analysing and challenging my thoughts the role playing won't really go anywhere. We'll see each other in a month, I guess during Towel Day.

Trillian said to me once at Milliways:
"Poor Arthur, you're not really cut out for this life are you?"
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post #49 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-26-2013, 03:07 PM
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post #50 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-26-2013, 04:24 PM Thread Starter
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ok...

Trillian said to me once at Milliways:
"Poor Arthur, you're not really cut out for this life are you?"
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post #51 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-26-2013, 11:16 PM
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I think the OP could end up, like, hypnotized or something. At the sound of a doorbell, he could cackle like a chicken or something.

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post #52 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 12:25 AM
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Is it weird if this thread is turning me on?
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post #53 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 04:14 AM
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Yes that's what I'm asking, and before you ask "wtf are you doing?" Well, it was my therapist the one who told me to do it.

You'll see, to keep it short, since I'm 6 I've had a pathological fear to express interest in women. It didn't bothered me until I was 16, and it got so frustrating over the years that I finally overcame the fear of my parents finding out, and started seeing a therapist to try to fix this problem. A week ago, on our second session, I mentioned this idea I've got for quite a while that says that I can imagine people liking me, but not really loving me; then it was when it got interesting. We talked about what women want then and she told me that I need to accept the fact that I am a good looking guy and that I probably cause always a good first impression and I'm wasting that. She also told me that being attractive, a good listener, intelligent, and not a fan of getting drunk, high or smoking, I'm quite a good catch, and she insisted that all that is a truth I need to get in my head. She cleared up that she wasn't hitting on me or just complimenting me for the sake of it. I like that she's not very PC, according to her if I wasn't attractive she would just gave me the typical "what only matters is what's inside" talk. Not that she thinks the inside doesn't matter, but she acknowledges the fact that good looking people have a head-start when approaching others.

Then she told me that I need to physically loosen up because I'm too tense, and I need to improve eye contact. I try to keep it but eventually I end up looking away. And she said I need to move more loosely so I need to make dancing movements every day.

And the she told me that my homework for the next appointment, which nest Thursday, I have to try to hit on her. Well she told me I must make a plan and practice with her, while she makes observations and corrections to what I'll be doing, like role playing.

Still some friends have told me this is very unusual and that she was seemingly hitting on me (she's young and attractive, on her early 30s, maximum). And others told me it was normal. People in both sides have been to therapy so I'm not sure. Personally I think she was trying to lift my mood, and if want to get somewhere, I better start to believe what she told me. But is hard to believe one is allegedly desirable when one is alone (I recognize women have been interested in me to some degree to another).

This is, between depression, homework, and a stupid cold I think I'm just getting, I haven't really been on a mindframe to think about how to do this assignment, and the few times I've tried to I feel completely clueless, since I've never done this in my entire life (I'm 24 if that matters).

So I am open to suggestions, what do you think I should do?
Don't want to really advise anything, but that sounded kinky.
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post #54 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 06:47 AM
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This all sounds like a B-rated porno in the making, Iiiii LIKE IT.

Charlie Kaufman: My leg hurts, I wonder if it's cancer? There's a bump. I'm starting to sweat. Stop sweating. I've got to stop sweating. Can she see it dripping down my forehead? She looked at my hair line. She thinks I'm bald. She...
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Charlie Kaufman: Oh, wow, thanks. Well, that's nice to hear.
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post #55 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 08:44 AM Thread Starter
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Ok I will just say it. If you haven't read the rest of the posts where I tell how is therapy going on, giving context to the first post, and you think this is a joke and don't have anything meaningful or helpful to say, well then better don't say anything.

Trillian said to me once at Milliways:
"Poor Arthur, you're not really cut out for this life are you?"
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post #56 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 08:54 AM
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Well if i had a therapist who said that to me I think I'll be like right I think I've got over my anxiety now, but a sex therapist would be really helpful haha jokes aside though! all this hard ****ing work about approaching women seems so much hard work on a minute portion of the whole problem. I mean first question why do you really really want a woman ? is it to make yourself feel better ?
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post #57 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Well if i had a therapist who said that to me I think I'll be like right I think I've got over my anxiety now, but a sex therapist would be really helpful haha jokes aside though! all this hard ****ing work about approaching women seems so much hard work on a minute portion of the whole problem. I mean first question why do you really really want a woman ? is it to make yourself feel better ?
Well in my case the whole problem is pretty much my inability to so interact socially with women, I can do things like speaking in public or be in a crowd, so more than a minute it's almost working in the entire problem, and I think the work is more than justified.


And why I want a woman, well, my loneliness and inability to socialize with them causes me a great deal of distress. But people say that one must be happy by oneself and love oneself before being able to be happy with someone else. Also it's said that people get this need for love from pop culture and things like that. That could be true for some but I call bollocks on both things. After having interacted with online friends, and get really close with a couple of them, there's a level of closeness that goes beyond friendship, that knowledge of meaning more to someone that everyone else does. I am not leaving my sense of self worth on my relationships status, but at the same time performing well in other areas of my life isn't enough. For me it's a matter of balance, several things contribute to happiness; a single one won't guarantee it, but it's absence will leave an emptiness that denies this happiness, and for me love it's a key part of this. I am quite aware relationships are not fairy tales, all human relationships present difficulties, but I still like to think that the pros are more than the cons. Not to mention that so far all the people who have told me the "be happy first on your own" don't know what is to be single all your life, and what's having this hard time knowing other people. For them finding a partner is just something it eventually happens after trying for a while. Yes I know, it should be the same for me...

Also I'm on my mid twenties, I've been horny since I was teenager.

Trillian said to me once at Milliways:
"Poor Arthur, you're not really cut out for this life are you?"
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post #58 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 11:05 AM
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Well I am not going to compare what how you view relationships to others view relationships. I know alot of people say alot of things without really carrying it out! But I am not speaking about the fact that you actually want a woman but it is important to ask yourself why you want a woman. Sometimes you don't really know until you you actually get one. However I am not necessarily speaking of wanting one as the problem but it seems yours has gone beyond that it has became this 'goal'; an objective. This isn't healthy. How can it be ? The women you go to meet you are kind of using as a means to an end! I don't think that is fair. You can practise talking to women without the pursuit of using them. This constant chase for a woman is bound to put more strain on you than you already are putting on yourself. Can you not see the paradox, you are saying that women will make you happy but the actual chase for a woman is making you unhappy. You say that people don't understand who haven't been lonely for that long. Funnily enough they ARE the people that know that relationships don't make you happy. Once you get your woman and thew pain,emptiness is still there. You'll look to the next thing to cover the emptiness. Sometimes this just happens and you don't find out until it happens that this is the case. i have had several relationships and believe me it is the most beautiful thing cuddling up to someone you really care about on a night. But my god they come with their problems especially when i had problems of my own.
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post #59 of 91 (permalink) Old 04-27-2013, 02:55 PM
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My honest opinion? Life won't last. I think you should go ahead and take the chance, given that she's totally fine with it . . and have weighed out any possible risks of emotional, legal, and personal nature.

You're a lucky guy
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post #60 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-16-2013, 07:01 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by DeniseAfterAll View Post
My honest opinion? Life won't last. I think you should go ahead and take the chance, given that she's totally fine with it . . and have weighed out any possible risks of emotional, legal, and personal nature.

You're a lucky guy
You seem to be completely misinterpreting my psychologist's intentions, I think I had cleared them up in previous posts.



Yesterday I finally talked with one of the girls. It was actually the one I'd thought I'll have less chances to because she's usually with more people around her than the other one. I was walking towards the library hoping to find a free table where to sit and work with my laptop when I saw her sit on a nearby chair working on some sort of small structure. She was alone; yet I couldn't get myself to talk to her, she was leaning to the ground focused on her project and I didn't want to interrupt her, so I just kept walking towards the library feeling like a loser and a failure.

It turned out there weren't tables available at the library (it's a small one), so I stepped outside the door, wondering where should I go then. She still was there, working on her project. I had the option of going to another building without passing next to her. But I guess seeing her alone, despite being busy, motivated me to cut the crap, stop thinking and go there. Well it wasn't a mindless act, I turned off my phone to pretend it had ran out of battery and that I coincidentally noticed it right when I was walking next to her. and this is what happened:

She was again leaning to the ground checking her structure thingy, so she wasn't actually in the best position to talk with someone who were walking by; I had to lean weirdly, and I said something like "Excuse me, would you know what time is it?". She having her head close to the ground, and me being tall, despite I was leaning towards her, made me think she hand't hear me because for what seemed like an eternity (and were actually less than two seconds) she didn't react. Then she sit still leaning towards her left and looked at me but not directly to my face. I felt I had to said something and my turned off phone in my hand I mumbled "this thing's battery died", which I don't know if she even understood because the volume and the vocalization when I was saying that dropped dramatically as I said it. There she started reaching for her phone, which was precisely where she was leaning towards so it took her about five even more eternal seconds to get, while none of us said anything at all, I think all that time I was looking at the ground and then at her phone, I wasn't capable of making eye contact during that awkward silence. After that torture she read the hour, looked at me and said "12:56 pm". While she said that I was capable of maintaining eye contact, and then I told her "thank you very much", still looking at her and I think I kinda said that smiling. Then I walked away, thinking "well now you can't said that I didn't at least try, is everyone happy now?". Some meters away I felt a burst of adrenaline striking my body from my hearth, it felt like if my body had been holding the breath during the whole thing.

Then I remembered what others had told me. I realized that being so nervous I really can't stop to see if I'm smiling, or being spontaneous, or being myself, or just going with the flow or any of that stuff. I'm just too damn anxious to think of what am I doing, I can barely function and I don't even know how I did it. And no, it wasn't fun AT ALL. I don't feel it's going to be easier next time, because I doubt there will be a next time; doing things this way I mean. The impression that I got is that she realized it was all an very lame staged act to try to talk with her. I don't think it actually bothered, but she wasn't thrilled either, to me her attitude all along was "oh, ok", just surprised and nothing else. Which yes, isn't a bad thing itself, but not a good one either. I don't feel any motivation to talk again with this girl, and not feeling particularly motivated either to talk with the other one. Right now I'm seeing the whole thing as pointless because even if I was somehow capable of facing my fears, the reason behind those fears it's till there, and being extremely powerful. I still can't stop thinking of what will others think of me, as you can see I still have my self esteem in the gutter, and I think that I can try to talk that way with any amount of girls, just to feel the same way afterwards because my worries will still be there unless I change my mindset first, something I'm quite clueless about how to do it. Actually the original idea was to just say hi to the girls. I thought asking for the hour would make it less random. I still think it's a good idea, but unfortunately nothing will really work since I'm still obsessed whit what would they think of me, which I can never imagine as being something good. Although I have the slight impression that one of the girls has noticed that I glance at her and she doesn't seem bothered by it, but all the opposite. But that doesn't mean much to me since I've been wrong about making those conclusions before.

I really don't know what to do next. if anything I feel that after today I've giving up on approaching complete strangers until I talk again with the psych.

Trillian said to me once at Milliways:
"Poor Arthur, you're not really cut out for this life are you?"
Arthur Dent is offline  
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