How does your therapist help you? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2021, 02:00 PM Thread Starter
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How does your therapist help you?


I've seen a whole lot of different therapists in my life; I would guess that I regularly saw at least five before I found one that really "got" me. I know better than anyone that there are loads of different styles of therapists out there. And I've no doubt that some of the therapists I saw in the past who didn't "get" me have really helped other types of people who aren't me.

I guess my question is, as far as social anxiety specifically goes, how does your therapist help you? What's their approach? Do you feel like it's working? What is it about your therapist that makes you feel like they're a good fit for you?
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2021, 03:18 PM
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The last one told me he couldn't even talk to me unless I was taking my medication. I can understand that. He was a very nice man - but some of his ideas didn't exactly gel with me.

Haven't had one for a while - I tend to get sick of them. (same with shrinks)
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-12-2021, 02:25 PM
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If I was seeing a Therapist for Social Anxiety, I would hope he/she would come across more as a Life/Confidence Coach. I do think for something like Social Anxiety the roles of Coach/Therapist can be sort of inter-mixed. What do you guys think, and are you content with how your life is progressing at the moment?
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-12-2021, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by OCDguy1 View Post
If I was seeing a Therapist for Social Anxiety, I would hope he/she would come across more as a Life/Confidence Coach. I do think for something like Social Anxiety the roles of Coach/Therapist can be sort of inter-mixed.
I suppose I do see my therapist as something of a life coach, if you want to put it that way. I'm not on any meds or anything (my issues aren't the type that can be helped by meds), and I'm extremely self-motivated, so I guess his job is basically to help me formulate my action plans and make sure I stay on-task and focused on the big picture instead of getting lost in all the little details.
I've never been too wild about the term "life coach", though. I feel like it has a bad rap of being associated with woefully unqualified people trying to help people who genuinely need qualified help.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-12-2021, 06:01 PM
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I think I'm too messed up for action plans, tbh. I'm borderline psychotic, but I'm too afraid to take medication, so my therapist is just trying to help me regulate my emotions. And figure out where they're coming from. I had such a bad reaction to our last EMDR session that she wants to scale back. I don't think I could work through this stuff alone. I need a real person to talk to, otherwise I just keep using my coping mechanisms to avoid anxiety and I never get any better. The action plans will come later (I hope).

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-12-2021, 06:19 PM
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Hey that sounds rough... Are you able to provide feedback during or after these EMDR sessions? Would it help to share what is on your mind? We are non-judgemental here, and I am assuming no one here knows your true identity?

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-13-2021, 11:37 AM
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She kinda models self-parenting which I try to internalise. She also helps me find solutions I might not have thought of, and more recently has been helping with role plays. Also provides emotional support and validates me. There is some magic that happens in my subconscious too, but I'm not sure what that is.

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Originally Posted by truant View Post
I think I'm too messed up for action plans, tbh. I'm borderline psychotic, but I'm too afraid to take medication, so my therapist is just trying to help me regulate my emotions. And figure out where they're coming from. I had such a bad reaction to our last EMDR session that she wants to scale back. I don't think I could work through this stuff alone. I need a real person to talk to, otherwise I just keep using my coping mechanisms to avoid anxiety and I never get any better. The action plans will come later (I hope).
Hang in there tru. I have been impressed with how you have engaged with therapy. It's hard when avoidance gets entrenched.

Big hugs.

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:

https://balancedminds.com/audio/
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-13-2021, 12:37 PM
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There were a few with whom I "dealt" with in the past. Still, currently, I have a psychologist ans a psychiatrist with whom I have regular Zoom meetings.
I had some issues with the first psychologist. She was great to bring in tools and recommend services etc, but she'd take the opportunity to hit me on the head when things didn't go her way. I always felt pulled by her and when she left, I had been debating for months prior, if I was going to still meet up with her or not. I had not considered any psychological help anymore, at the time, because I was blamed too often and it felt more harmful than helpful. Then, came a difficult time at least a year later, which lead a lady from an organisation I was in, to refer me to the services who brought me another psychologist.

The new therapist is not bringing as many tools and services to the table, but he is there to listen to me and adjust to what I live in the moment. With the past psychologist, she planned the meetings ahead of time and we had to follow her lead. Now, with the current psychologist, I feel like it might be less structured, but it does feel like meeting with a counselor, which feels better for me, to have someone to rely on and who won't make me feel like crap.

I also meet with a psychiatrist. She is a bit more strict, although I have a great relation with her. I think she's a bit in between what my psychologists were, in terms of approach. She asks me questions about things like social connections, routines/habits, how I am doing in different areas of my life. I do appreciate currently having this male psychologist and female psychiatrist. As for the past female psychologist, I learned many things from her, but I'm glad that things moved on eventually.
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 03:22 AM
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Originally Posted by OCDguy1 View Post
Hey that sounds rough... Are you able to provide feedback during or after these EMDR sessions? Would it help to share what is on your mind? We are non-judgemental here, and I am assuming no one here knows your true identity?
Well, she's always checking to see how I'm feeling. And whenever there's strong emotion, she has me do breathing until I calm down. It's totally up to me whether or not we do them.

The problem isn't so much during therapy, because I don't feel like she's pushing me too hard when we're doing it, but what happens after. I have a long history of psychosomatic problems, and I'm having a pretty bad physical reaction right now. And that might be a reaction to the therapy. My OCD is also acting up quite a bit, in ways that make me feel pretty crazy (I have pure O, not the handwashing stuff). I talk about that in this other thread: ocd/intrusive thoughts. But I've got more problems than you can shake a bag of monkeys at. I'm pretty open about them (eg. this thread).

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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
Hang in there tru. I have been impressed with how you have engaged with therapy. It's hard when avoidance gets entrenched.

Big hugs.
Thanks.

Therapy again tomorrow. Or, later today, I guess. Should probably try to get a few hours of sleep.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 04:37 AM
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I'm not sure. It's someone who I process the past with. They ask me questions to help me process and understand my traumas.


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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
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Well, she's always checking to see how I'm feeling. And whenever there's strong emotion, she has me do breathing until I calm down. It's totally up to me whether or not we do them.

The problem isn't so much during therapy, because I don't feel like she's pushing me too hard when we're doing it, but what happens after. I have a long history of psychosomatic problems, and I'm having a pretty bad physical reaction right now. And that might be a reaction to the therapy. My OCD is also acting up quite a bit, in ways that make me feel pretty crazy (I have pure O, not the handwashing stuff). I talk about that in this other thread: ocd/intrusive thoughts. But I've got more problems than you can shake a bag of monkeys at. I'm pretty open about them (eg. this thread).



Thanks.

Therapy again tomorrow. Or, later today, I guess. Should probably try to get a few hours of sleep.

Hey, thankyou for sharing those links, and your posts. You mentioned feeling ugly a lot, you have so much to learn about yourself... the way you write, the way you express yourself, your honesty with others. These things although just a few expose your inner beauty and there will be/are many more (I only had a glimpse of the real you through a few posts you shared). You are a truly amazing person, don't let anyone tell you different. The thing is, the way we feel about ourselves is reflected in our face. It's time to let all that inner beauty shine, you know you are worth it!

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-15-2021, 05:00 AM
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Hey, thankyou for sharing those links, and your posts. You mentioned feeling ugly a lot, you have so much to learn about yourself... the way you write, the way you express yourself, your honesty with others. These things although just a few expose your inner beauty and there will be/are many more (I only had a glimpse of the real you through a few posts you shared). You are a truly amazing person, don't let anyone tell you different. The thing is, the way we feel about ourselves is reflected in our face. It's time to let all that inner beauty shine, you know you are worth it!
That's very kind of you to say, but I'm just being objective. I don't think how I feel about it makes much difference either way. Get me arguing about it sometime and you'll see how ugly I am. But that debate's OT for this thread.

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-15-2021, 06:05 AM
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Fighting talk lol. I don't do fights, and I try to avoid arguments... I wouldn't be surprised if you feel the same way about these things... Anyway apart from all of that, how are you today?

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-16-2021, 07:04 PM
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Fighting talk lol. I don't do fights, and I try to avoid arguments... I wouldn't be surprised if you feel the same way about these things... Anyway apart from all of that, how are you today?
I've been struggling with a migraine the last two days, so ... not so good.

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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-16-2021, 07:21 PM
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I've been struggling with a migraine the last two days, so ... not so good.
I don't know if any of my headaches are migraines or not but the ones I have do suck and I hate them. One thing I have found that has been helping more than other things I've tried in the past is if I take an Advil softgel and a Tylenol rapid release together. Seems to (sometimes) have some synergistic effect. Not always though.

/WYSD
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-17-2021, 02:39 AM
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I don't know if any of my headaches are migraines or not but the ones I have do suck and I hate them. One thing I have found that has been helping more than other things I've tried in the past is if I take an Advil softgel and a Tylenol rapid release together. Seems to (sometimes) have some synergistic effect. Not always though.
Thanks. I didn't know you could take these together, but apparently you can. I'm kind of paranoid about taking drugs but I might try this. I've been taking Advil for Migraines but it seems hit or miss. I often wake up with migraines, and if I wake up with one it's already too late. If I can catch it while it's starting I can sometimes head it off, though.

Sorry for the OT posts.

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-18-2021, 08:33 AM
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When I was seeing a therapist, he helped me change my thinking and deal with social situations + life's bs. I started keeping an anxiety journal where I would describe any event where I felt anxious, rate my level of anxiety, and then we would discuss each event. What was going through my mind in the moment? Why was I so anxious? How could I approach the situation differently? Admittedly, altering my thinking was a bit of a struggle (it still is), but I always felt better after our discussions and a little more prepared. I made more of an effort to accept situations out of my control, to not beat myself up mentally, and to utilize a few techniques when preparing for a stressful/difficult situation. He also made me aware that negative social situations are a part of life for everyone and I shouldn't get so worked up about bumping into some random a**hole.

I feel like those therapy sessions were working and that I made progress compared to when I started. I don't know what makes a good fit, but he was a nice man who had a calming voice and made an effort to make sure I always felt comfortable. I also appreciate that our sessions were discussions. He always tried to better understand me and discuss the situations I encountered. I never felt as though I was being lectured or talked down to.
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