Have any of you actually ever been helped by anything? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by ThatOneQuietGuy View Post
Exposure helped me a lot. I often force myself to talk to random strangers and it has gotten to the point that it isn't that difficult anymore.
What do you and said stranger talk about? And how long do these conversations usually last?
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post #22 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 07:46 PM
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What do you and said stranger talk about? And how long do these conversations usually last?
It could be as simple as overhearing someone asking what time it is. Just turn around and tell them the time. If you overhear people talking about something that you know about, just politely add something to what they were saying. You will get a positive response from most people.
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post #23 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 07:49 PM
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Exposure therapy with the help of SSRI and Benzos has changed my life for the better. It was hard work though, as it will be for anyone to really make progress. I now no longer take any meds either.

Your 100% in anything, even if you're not the best at it, is a success.
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post #24 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 07:55 PM
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I don't want to talk to someone about my issues, because frankly I don't like to talk to people so therapy is out of the question. Am I supposed to stay on pills for ever?

In college I studied communications to try to get me out of my comfort zone and force me to do speeches and work with people. It just made my anxiety 100 times worse when I finished and now I feel so screwed. I wish I had the motivation and concentration because I would go back to school and get a stay at home job.
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post #25 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 08:55 PM
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Originally Posted by pbanco View Post
I think most all psychological issues have a biological basis but are caused
by events in our histories. that doesn't mean counseling can't help.
There are maybe hundreds of different forms of therapy, not including medications. They exist because people find them helpful and you can
probably find something helpful also if you keep trying.
I'm not sure you know the extent of my education and my own therapeutic experiences. No one has studied the topic of clinical counseling more than I have. Your optimistic outlook will help you greatly in life.

There is no proof that there is a biological basis for psychological disorders. I was TOLD mine was genetic (I was born with these certain dud genes, supposedly). Again, psychology is NOT based in FACT....only well-studied hypotheses that never result in any conclusive results.

I'm a Christian and we have a theory......that all human beings were created with a hole inside of us that only God can fill. The mass failure of today's head medicine seems to support that.

Diagnoses: Endogenous Depression, Anxiety Disorders (Generalized, Social, Paranoid), Bipolar II

Current Meds: None.

Previous Meds (I forget dosages):
Paxil
Prozac
Zoloft (2 trials)
Wellbutrin
Celexa (2 trials, 1 with mood stabalizer)
Trazodone
Effexor
Lamotrigine (Lamictal)
Hydroxyzine Pamoate (Vistaril)
Oxcarbazepine
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post #26 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by roblox View Post
I don't want to talk to someone about my issues, because frankly I don't like to talk to people so therapy is out of the question. Am I supposed to stay on pills for ever?

In college I studied communications to try to get me out of my comfort zone and force me to do speeches and work with people. It just made my anxiety 100 times worse when I finished and now I feel so screwed. I wish I had the motivation and concentration because I would go back to school and get a stay at home job.
I've had a stay-at-home job (e-commerce) and it was stifling, even for my introverted self. If you have no motivation, working at home as an independent will drive you insane.

I can relate to how you feel about your education. In my undergrad business program, I gave PowerPoint presentations weekly -- my longest was an entire class period (45 minutes). I was operating on adrenaline back then and am very persistent....that's the only way I made it through to graduation.

I actually went and pursued masters degrees in other fields, and couldn't use those degrees either once I finished. I don't believe getting another degree is going to help you much (unless the occupation you're looking at requires a license that requires a degree).

Some people do take pills forever....if they work for you and won't damage you further, then taking them is worth it to improve your quality of life. I'm back to giving the pill-route another try.....started my new regimine last week.

If you can't tell a therapist about your problems, is it possible that you're trying to suppress certain emotions that could be inhibiting you? Maybe if you force yourself to be honest about your situation, and put a voice it, you may improve. It does work for some people -- you can't discount it if you haven't tried it. I had a prideful male friend confide in me once, and he must have really liked the experience because he sort-of became addicted to it......would not shut up for months. lol But dwelling on the negative can be bad to -- you need to find that middle ground of acknowledging the problem, accepting the problem, then moving on from the problem. Good luck!

Diagnoses: Endogenous Depression, Anxiety Disorders (Generalized, Social, Paranoid), Bipolar II

Current Meds: None.

Previous Meds (I forget dosages):
Paxil
Prozac
Zoloft (2 trials)
Wellbutrin
Celexa (2 trials, 1 with mood stabalizer)
Trazodone
Effexor
Lamotrigine (Lamictal)
Hydroxyzine Pamoate (Vistaril)
Oxcarbazepine
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post #27 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 11:28 AM
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I've had a stay-at-home job (e-commerce) and it was stifling, even for my introverted self. If you have no motivation, working at home as an independent will drive you insane.
You're absolutely right, I've thought about that a lot too. Especially with my fatigue and trouble concentrating maybe that wouldn't be the best route. Hopefully some day something will come about that I like to do.
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post #28 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 01:08 PM
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Before this physician I had seen a psychologist briefly. She was no better. It was obvious that she does not really want her patients to do well in life because then she would lose her position of superiority. When she read a previous report I had had done about me from another psychologist I could see that as she read over the parts that were flattering about me she grew nervous and started breathing harder, even shaking the pages a bit because her hands were trembling...seriously! Then she calmed down and nodded her head patronizingly when she got to the parts about my weaknesses...like she is nice and is going to help me...but that's not really what was going on. She likes having vulnerable people come to her on their knees because it makes her feel superior. That is why when she read certain things about me that were flattering it made her nervous. I also noticed a very visible reaction when I mentioned plans that included possible goals that would place me on her level again in terms of social status. Her face suddenly shifted in appearance: at first stunned by a loss of smug confidence and then trying to remain neutral but conspicuous its effort to do so. The only reason she reacted that way is because she liked seeing someone on their knees and pretending she might help them up...so long as they don't really get up completely, especially if that would mean they would then be doing as well as she is.

It's dirty.
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post #29 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 02:39 PM
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Before this physician I had seen a psychologist briefly. She was no better. It was obvious that she does not really want her patients to do well in life because then she would lose her position of superiority. When she read a previous report I had had done about me from another psychologist I could see that as she read over the parts that were flattering about me she grew nervous and started breathing harder, even shaking the pages a bit because her hands were trembling...seriously! Then she calmed down and nodded her head patronizingly when she got to the parts about my weaknesses...like she is nice and is going to help me...but that's not really what was going on. She likes having vulnerable people come to her on their knees because it makes her feel superior. That is why when she read certain things about me that were flattering it made her nervous. I also noticed a very visible reaction when I mentioned plans that included possible goals that would place me on her level again in terms of social status. Her face suddenly shifted in appearance: at first stunned by a loss of smug confidence and then trying to remain neutral but conspicuous its effort to do so. The only reason she reacted that way is because she liked seeing someone on their knees and pretending she might help them up...so long as they don't really get up completely, especially if that would mean they would then be doing as well as she is.

It's dirty.
It's funny because they probably have more issues then us, but they're to good to realize it.
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post #30 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 03:11 PM
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Reading the book 'The Divided Self' by RD Laing.

Reading that book was a bolt from the blue, and explained everything I had ever experienced in my life with regard to my condition, but could never understand until that point. I fully understood what was wrong with me, and why - though it doesn't solve it, but it does IDENTIFY what is wrong and where it is coming from, the process and mechanism by which it develops.

Others of his books are excellent also, eg Self and Others, and Sanity, Madness and the Family.

Another book that I found helpful was Colin A Ross 'Trauma Model Therapy'.

Never been in therapy, never took a pill. Reading other posts on here, I can just totally sympathize with the disappointment some people have experienced with therapy.

Iím not buying what youíre selling OK?
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post #31 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 04:46 PM
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I don't want to discourage people who might benefit from therapy but overall I find it to be of little to no use. I will even venture to suggest that psychotherapy might be the biggest fraud perpetrated in human history but that's for another discussion.
I think you could be right there, though some therapists like Colin A Ross are different and good.

It sounds like you have analyzed your therapists even more than they have analyzed you - perhaps you should bill them. I think you are just seeing the fundamental laws of human life - the academic success game, the social success game. And I sense you have not come up to scratch in either of these. You should not attempt to compete where you have little chance of success. I sense you have been forced into academic study and career, probably from a young age, but its not really for you. You have to channel your energies elsewhere, otherwise you're wasting your life.

There are some people you just cannot beat - just walk away - with your head held high.

All this academic competitiveness and snobbery leads only to evil things - it has even caused murders to be committed.

Iím not buying what youíre selling OK?
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post #32 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 05:04 PM
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Yes, meds and CBT as I go.

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You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

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post #33 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 06:06 PM
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Self-help books, good eating, and consistent exercise have helped me more than anything pharmaceutical ever did. I've been through a half dozen psychotherapists, as well as more medications that I know what to do with. I still have a mountain of benzos in my closet, gathering dust.
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post #34 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 11:02 PM
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I think you could be right there, though some therapists like Colin A Ross are different and good.

It sounds like you have analyzed your therapists even more than they have analyzed you - perhaps you should bill them. I think you are just seeing the fundamental laws of human life - the academic success game, the social success game. And I sense you have not come up to scratch in either of these. You should not attempt to compete where you have little chance of success. I sense you have been forced into academic study and career, probably from a young age, but its not really for you. You have to channel your energies elsewhere, otherwise you're wasting your life.

There are some people you just cannot beat - just walk away - with your head held high.

All this academic competitiveness and snobbery leads only to evil things - it has even caused murders to be committed.
I think you are correct about my life and about academia. In my case, I was in a program I didn't like and wanted to get into a different program but I did not have a bachelors degree in that subject so it was a tall order. I took grad courses in that dept in case they might have been helpful about my goal but they were not helpful at all and even wanted to impose unusual burdens on me in order to take advantage of the fact that I was an outsider who wanted to get in. They were not even forthcoming about ultimately helping with my goal if I tried to appease them, just rude and opportunistic in typically slippery academic ways. There was even some political bias that was really obvious but in their incredible arrogance, an arrogance that society allows them to have in their mentally ill bubble, they simply weren't able to bring themselves to confront their own hypocrisy. It was a program I had a personal interest in but it turned out that half the people in it were doing it to prepare for a different, more difficult and competitive degree that I already have. There is some pathetic competitiveness between these two fields for reasons I won't go into so I am sure that also played a role in the reception I got.

But what really bothers me is that even though these facts are available to the physician, I am sure she allowed herself to construct a different version of reality that flattered her and made her feel more validated by ostensibly placing me beneath her. She is not the competition...although infuriatingly she probably thinks she is. It is more acute with her because she went to a really bad medical school that is known for being the 'alternative med school' and she is obviously insecure about it. So you have two similarly insecure people in a room and one of them is billing for what amounts to lying while surreptitiously aggravating the other's insecurity and social problems in order to alleviate her own insecurity...downright satanic. And yes, I agree with you that these dynamics should be considered a serious and unacceptable form of mental illness that have indeed led to murder. But instead she bills, I am supposed to thank her and if I were to complain to her face it would probably only make her feel better because she would enjoy, in addition to being able to medicalize my complaints with impunity, just being in a socially perceived position of power over me regardless of how egregiously abused and unmerited it really is. Now I am in another master's program in the faculty I had already gotten a degree in long ago but it is at another school that is obviously not as well ranked as the one I just left voluntarily. She likes this because before finally getting into a crappy med school she studied the subject I just walked away from, so she probably tells herself she did something superior and it makes her feel good by supposedly being above me...this is my therapist...can you imagine???
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post #35 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 11:21 PM
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Only from temporarily believing that things were suddenly better.. or going to be better, but that came to a halt quickly. I can't pretend to be confident and positive when everything just feels the complete opposite.
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post #36 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-22-2013, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted by roblox View Post
You're absolutely right, I've thought about that a lot too. Especially with my fatigue and trouble concentrating maybe that wouldn't be the best route. Hopefully some day something will come about that I like to do.
Me personally, I've given up on finding work that I "like" to do and would be satisfied to settle for something that I "can" do. I don't know many people who actually like their jobs.

Diagnoses: Endogenous Depression, Anxiety Disorders (Generalized, Social, Paranoid), Bipolar II

Current Meds: None.

Previous Meds (I forget dosages):
Paxil
Prozac
Zoloft (2 trials)
Wellbutrin
Celexa (2 trials, 1 with mood stabalizer)
Trazodone
Effexor
Lamotrigine (Lamictal)
Hydroxyzine Pamoate (Vistaril)
Oxcarbazepine
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post #37 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-22-2013, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by bent View Post
Before this physician I had seen a psychologist briefly. She was no better. It was obvious that she does not really want her patients to do well in life because then she would lose her position of superiority. When she read a previous report I had had done about me from another psychologist I could see that as she read over the parts that were flattering about me she grew nervous and started breathing harder, even shaking the pages a bit because her hands were trembling...seriously! Then she calmed down and nodded her head patronizingly when she got to the parts about my weaknesses...like she is nice and is going to help me...but that's not really what was going on. She likes having vulnerable people come to her on their knees because it makes her feel superior. That is why when she read certain things about me that were flattering it made her nervous. I also noticed a very visible reaction when I mentioned plans that included possible goals that would place me on her level again in terms of social status. Her face suddenly shifted in appearance: at first stunned by a loss of smug confidence and then trying to remain neutral but conspicuous its effort to do so. The only reason she reacted that way is because she liked seeing someone on their knees and pretending she might help them up...so long as they don't really get up completely, especially if that would mean they would then be doing as well as she is.

It's dirty.
YES, I have witnessed this same situation myself! Shrinks and therapists with their own bus-load of baggage cannot deal with a patient who seems more together than they are. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Diagnoses: Endogenous Depression, Anxiety Disorders (Generalized, Social, Paranoid), Bipolar II

Current Meds: None.

Previous Meds (I forget dosages):
Paxil
Prozac
Zoloft (2 trials)
Wellbutrin
Celexa (2 trials, 1 with mood stabalizer)
Trazodone
Effexor
Lamotrigine (Lamictal)
Hydroxyzine Pamoate (Vistaril)
Oxcarbazepine
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post #38 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-22-2013, 01:32 PM
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Only from temporarily believing that things were suddenly better.. or going to be better, but that came to a halt quickly. I can't pretend to be confident and positive when everything just feels the complete opposite.
I'm a bad actor as well, and the adult world is all about being able to wear masks appropriately. I sometimes wonder if I should fall somewhere on the autism spectrum......I'm too literal, too ethical, and too grounded in actual reality for my own good.

Diagnoses: Endogenous Depression, Anxiety Disorders (Generalized, Social, Paranoid), Bipolar II

Current Meds: None.

Previous Meds (I forget dosages):
Paxil
Prozac
Zoloft (2 trials)
Wellbutrin
Celexa (2 trials, 1 with mood stabalizer)
Trazodone
Effexor
Lamotrigine (Lamictal)
Hydroxyzine Pamoate (Vistaril)
Oxcarbazepine
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post #39 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-22-2013, 06:26 PM
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Me personally, I've given up on finding work that I "like" to do and would be satisfied to settle for something that I "can" do. I don't know many people who actually like their jobs.
You are REALISTIC - so many people are just wasting time looking for the ideal career or job

Iím not buying what youíre selling OK?
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post #40 of 115 (permalink) Old 02-22-2013, 06:44 PM
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OMG don't change! God absolutely loves you!
Thanks. I do know God loves me (as He does ALL of us), but He isn't in any human resource departments handling hiring here in the U.S., and He doesn't keep my lights on or buy my groceries.

Diagnoses: Endogenous Depression, Anxiety Disorders (Generalized, Social, Paranoid), Bipolar II

Current Meds: None.

Previous Meds (I forget dosages):
Paxil
Prozac
Zoloft (2 trials)
Wellbutrin
Celexa (2 trials, 1 with mood stabalizer)
Trazodone
Effexor
Lamotrigine (Lamictal)
Hydroxyzine Pamoate (Vistaril)
Oxcarbazepine
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