All CBT means is that you relearn how to think, perceive, act, and feel in a rational, positive manner by changing your thoughts and behavior. It is a very basic and general term that is used to treat all kinds of different problems such as depression, anxiety disorders, and even with anger problems. The problem that occurs with this is that therapists usually use a one-size-fits-all CBT approach to all these different disorders. Why would they use the
exact same approach to treat
different problems? That just doesn't make any sense!
This is why when people with SA reach out for help and pursue a CBT program, they usually report back feeling even more defeated and hopeless than ever before because it hasn't helped them despite all the studies and research that tells them they should feel otherwise.
The problem was that the CBT was not tailored for social anxiety. Instead it was just a generic CBT that was not specified for any particular disorder. CBT does work tremendously for social anxiety but you need to find one that is made specifically for social anxiety. Unfortunately, most therapists are pretty clueless about social anxiety and how to treat it. Thus, the lack of effective CBT programs for social anxiety. When you find a good CBT program, you will notice changes very quickly, in a matter of a few sessions.
A CBT program for social anxiety teaches you how to get rid of your negative thoughts for more rational ones with specific techniques to help you such as distractions. It also teaches you different techniques and methods to FEEL more relaxed and calm. Not just one method but several. It helps you to identify all the different forms of negative thoughts you have so you can get rid of them, how to redirect your focus, and explains why you need to do certain things so you can accomplish your goal. It focuses on specific SA related thoughts and behaviors and tells you what to do to overcome it with several different methods and techniques. The key is that they show you lots of different techniques, not just one or two. Just telling you to listen to a relaxation tape is not going to cut it. If all a therapist does for your social anxiety is work on changing your thoughts and doing exposures slowly
without giving you lots of specific tools to help you relax in the situations, how to deal with anticipatory anxiety, and how to change your thoughts, then they are just using a generic form of CBT that doesn't address the social anxiety specifically.
We also need to participate in a group CBT program for social anxiety. That way you can practice talking with others, in groups, and in front of people in a
controlled environment.
One important thing you should remember is that a counselor that goes easy on you, doesn't really push you to make changes is NOT good. You are not going to a counselor to make friends, a good counselor should find your comfort zone and make you move to a healthier one, then push you to make changes which are healthier but often very uncomfortable. I hear a lot of complaints that people don't want to make the changes and stop going to that counselor because he or she disagrees and then dismiss the whole thing as "ineffective".
I disagree with you somewhat. Yes the therapist is not there to be your friend but they should never push your or pressure you into doing anything. People with SA need to STOP pressuring themselves because that pressure just makes their anxiety worse. It's the therapist's responsibility to create a safe environment and to have the knowledge, techniques, methods, strategies, and capability to execute the therapy in a way that helps the patient relax and feel more confident. If a patient finds a qualified therapist like this, they will be encouraged and motivated on their own to reach out and try more things. The patient has to choose to move up on their own terms, not the therapist. Surprisingly though, with the right therapist and program, patients move up their hierarchy list very rapidly.