Do you need to get close to your thereapist for therapy to be effective? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-23-2013, 12:48 PM Thread Starter
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Do you need to get close to your thereapist for therapy to be effective?

I've seen two different therapists so far and I never really feel all that close to them and like I can't really tell them everything I'm thinking. They often try to engage in small talk and I feel like it's wasting time and that it won't help me get better if I describe to them what I like to cook, for instance. I'm kind of scared to get close to someone that I'm telling a lot of personal thigns with and have tried to remain more distant with them and approach my issues at a more intellectual level. I feel like therapy isn't working for me anymore. Is this a normal thing to not be all that close to your therapist, or would you say it is important to foster a relationship with them?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-23-2013, 08:32 PM
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I think it's important to foster a relationship in the sense that you need to feel comfortable enough around them to talk and respect them enough to honestly consider what they're telling you. It's hard for someone who doesn't have your trust or your belief in them to (positively) affect your emotional and mental state. I'd guess that their small talk is just a way of trying to put you at ease and make you feel that they see you as more than just another client.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-24-2013, 06:33 AM
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Ive seen a few therapist over the years. I was very uncomfortable with most. The one I have now, I feel close..and I feel happy when I see her..I always feel better after. She tells me about how she had anxiety and stuff, shes really nice & patient and understanding. I still don't talk much & im shy..but she understands thats just how I am..I am very sad because shes moving away..I cried & told her that she was the only one I ever feel comfortable with..I will be sad when she leaves...ive been seeing her for maybe 4-5 months...and will see her till end of january..then i will need to find a new one..shes gonna help me find a new therapist..shes the best, & I will really be sad when she goes..she tells me writing is really if i miss her to write in journal what id like to say..even though i wont be sending it..shes really sweet. we always talk about our pets..shes like a veryyy good counselor..I do think being close is will feel connected & not like you are just at a meeting with a stanger who you cant even trust..the first few times you probably feel uncomftable but by the next moth if u are still uncomfortable it may not work. Ill have to see again if I will find a new therapist that I will be comfortablke with..i became close to this one now..that im just so sad i wont se her after end of january..good luck i hope u find one that u can become close & feel like they are in your heart becuz their so sweet.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-24-2013, 06:50 AM
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I've heard writing in a journal or recording yourself talking about how you feel can have the same effect as a therapist.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-24-2013, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Tinydancer20 View Post
I've heard writing in a journal or recording yourself talking about how you feel can have the same effect as a therapist.
Does it? Then why toss hard earned money away?--Meh, I've been typing my "feelings" for a year now, have quite a bit bottled up, seems moot. The only real thing that I surmise from this little "enlightenment" stage is that everyone has problems too and I'm just an "ungrateful lil baby b**** boy" as my friends would so eloquently put it.

"All greatness of character is dependent on individuality. The man who has no other existence than that which he partakes in common with all around him, will never have any other than an existence of mediocrity. "
-James F. Cooper

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there... Wondering, fearing, doubting..." -Edgar Allan Poe
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-24-2013, 01:00 PM
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I never cared for the plethora of therapists and psychiatrists I had when I was young and into my adolescent years. During those sessions I never said a word since I never trusted any of them. The psychiatrist I'm seeing now has helped me immensely through my discussions with him and finding medication that could help me. I'm comfortable talking with my current doctor and I feel I can be honest about myself when I'm speaking with him. That trust has been a great help to me.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2013, 01:22 PM
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I feel very comfortable with mine but I know she is right for me. I knew straight away.
The one I had before her was the opposite, completely wrong and I did not like or trust her at all.
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