re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!
I did some pretty "shameful" things this weekend. I was taking a long subway ride after a long wait in a boiling hot station and so I took a seat and started reading. An old couple entered a few stops later, and the wife sat down next to me. The only other empty seat was across from me and I figured he could sit there if he wanted so didn't budge. Plus, I was hot and tired. Anyway, a stop later a woman gave up her seat for this guy and he said something like "I'm not that old but thanks." Normally I would be bothered by a comment like that, it didn't bother me at all.
Later, I did give up my seat for another old man, but a little boy jumped into my seat before the man could sit down! The mother didn't even say a word. So later, when a seat opened up next to the boy, even though the mom was standing w/a stroller, I sat down again before the mother could! LOL.
Now before anyone gets up in arms, I was raised well. I would normally give up my seat for a senior citizen. However, I always imagined that if I didn't, not only would I get an embarrassing lecture from the old person but also others around me. In reality, it really was no big deal. I don't think this particular guy cared either way. And as for the mother, while my SA prevented me from doing things like that in the past, I won't let it anymore. We tend to be pushovers who do things out of fear of conflict or guilt. In truth, we don't really owe anyone anything unless they deserve it. In this case, if that woman wasn't going to discipline her kid, why should she get a seat?