CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!! - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 102 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 12:38 PM
 
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I dont know how you guys manage to do that, thatd be so embarrasing even for someone without sa, i think thatd make people think you are different, that you got some kind of problem cause some of the things you guys mentioned are so random and unusual, i try to do exactly the opposite, just trying to be like the rest behave like Im like everyone else , that theres nothing wrong with me.
Good luck with these exercises though, for those of your daring enough
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post #22 of 102 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 01:44 PM
 
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


ha ha, All of this reminds me of an episode of the Tom Green show.
I like the one where he puts on camis and hides under the park bench with a megaphone saying, "I'm wearing camouflage! You can't see me!"

Maybe you could attend a nudist camp?
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post #23 of 102 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 03:07 PM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


haha yeah I guess so. Who would have thought that you could overcome Social Anxiety and have fun at the same time?

My dream in life is to become Johnny Knoxville's stuntman.

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #24 of 102 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 03:45 PM
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50 Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!...” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap, anyway?”
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
20. Put M&M’s on layaway.
21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!”
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
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post #25 of 102 (permalink) Old 03-31-2007, 03:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by falling snow
Welcome, Ross. Good to have someone from my part of the world here... Good luck with the CBT.
Ta, fingers crossed.

Are you a jock (UK term for a 'person from Scotland', in case you US guys think I'm talking about a bully from the football team) then?

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #26 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 03:31 AM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


How rubbish am I? Last posted on this topic 5 months ago and I still havent done any of the exercises ... Ardrum, if you're reading, wanna set up the SAS Shame Attacking Challenge? (SASSAC .. natch)

I'm going to start with the wrong change thing. I will give the wrong amount twice. But not if its a cute girl, thats too hard. I will start with a middle aged woman, they are least scary - bless them. This will be level 1 of 20

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #27 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 06:46 AM
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Re: re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by yeah_yeah_yeah
How rubbish am I? Last posted on this topic 5 months ago and I still havent done any of the exercises ... Ardrum, if you're reading, wanna set up the SAS Shame Attacking Challenge? (SASSAC .. natch)

I'm going to start with the wrong change thing. I will give the wrong amount twice. But not if its a cute girl, thats too hard. I will start with a middle aged woman, they are least scary - bless them. This will be level 1 of 20

Ross
I'd be willing to try a low-level version of the challenge.

Whistling down a street could be something that would annoy people or make them think you're strange. I might be able to do that one. Loud yawns might cause the same reaction.

EDIT: I've got an idea to make a thread for people to post their attempts. There could be a grammatical difference, such as underlining, when someone is posting their challenge (rather than someone just commenting on other people's challenges). Hmm...I'll think about creating such a thread (or be my guest if I am taking too long).

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #28 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 06:48 AM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Ok then.

Level 1 is yawning or whilstling loudly whilst walking past someone. Of course you will need to see their face as you do it - otherwise you won't see the disapproval!

Level 2 is giving the wrong change twice (unless thats too big a step?).

Hehe this could be fun.

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #29 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 06:51 AM
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Re: re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by yeah_yeah_yeah
Ok then.

Level 1 is yawning or whilstling loudly whilst walking past someone. Of course you will need to see their face as you do it - otherwise you won't see the disapproval!

Level 2 is giving the wrong change twice (unless thats too big a step?).

Hehe this could be fun.

Ross
Hehehe, the levels might be different, depending on each situation. Annoying hot ladies would probably be more challenging, for instance.

It might be fun to come up with 10 tasks, and people can check them off as they accomplish them. We need some sort of prize if you do them all.

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #30 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 06:55 AM
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Count me in on this too. I've been wanting to do something like this for a while but never got down to it.

Other suggestions:

1. Ask for directions to a place you already know how to get to.

2. Coughing/clearing your throat frequently in class or in a supermarket.

3. Prank calls.
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post #31 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 06:57 AM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Ya know I think this is why people like Johnny Knoxville are so relaxed. Theyve done so much dumb stuff that they are totally immune to peoples opinion of them!

I think to complete the challenge we will need some dwarves somewhere.

Right I'm going for a walk this evening to find a yawning target.

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #32 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 07:02 AM
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Re: re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by yeah_yeah_yeah
Ya know I think this is why people like Johnny Knoxville are so relaxed. Theyve done so much dumb stuff that they are totally immune to peoples opinion of them!

I think to complete the challenge we will need some dwarves somewhere.

Right I'm going for a walk this evening to find a yawning target.

Ross
LOL!

We need a Social Anxiety version of Jack-***. Instead of dwarves and fighting, we'll yawn and ask for the time.

EDIT: Good example of the humor in social anxiety!

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #33 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 08:13 AM
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Challenge begins here! http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... tml#732045

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #34 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 08:20 AM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Cool! I couldnt do a handshake one, but the yawning is ok! I will try it tonight when walking to my class.

EDIT TO ADD: I did it! Updated on the goals page

Next I want to go up to someone wearing a t-shirt and 25 wristwatches and ask for the time.

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #35 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-30-2007, 10:28 PM
 
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Great ideas. I've never heard of shame attacking, but I'm intrigued. A great exercise for me comes to mind...I'm going to "check out" one of the rich girls at the upscale shopping center across the street without looking away before I'm noticed. I've perfected the art of looking away just before I'm caught, but all that's going to stop now.

And I dunno if this has been mentioned yet...use the express checkout with like 30 items and don't leave until you're told to by store staff. Yikes, I doubt I could ever do that myself.

Thanks guys.
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post #36 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-31-2007, 01:21 AM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Yup its all good! I've heard it referred to as Increasing The Bandwidth, though this has more to do with things like making complaints, disagreeing with someone, cutting someone off in conversation etc. Peeps with SA tend to have a very rigid range of behaviour they feel is acceptable, and this tends to make us unassertive and meek. Pushing the boundaries and increasing the bandwidth of what really is acceptable will help to make us realise that we are unnecassarily holding ourselves back - or at least thats the idea!

Incidentally, Shame Attacking was invented by the late great Albert Ellis as part of REBT (rational emotive behavioural therapy), the forerunner to CBT. Some of his suggestions were to announce product prices in the supermarket, wear an obviously awfully co-ordinated piece of clothing out in town, or to tell the waiter he is wearing a lovely dress. I wouldnt do the third one until there was no more food to be spat in ....

I think it will get tougher as we get to exercises where we definitely will get disapproval, but my hope is that by doing the little ones first I can build up to it! If I just giggle afterwards like with the singing then that will be so good!

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #37 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-31-2007, 06:11 AM
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


I've recently done a few of these things unintentionally. At a local convenience store, I kept giving the wrong change over and over again (I swear it was the heat). The guy wasn't disapproving, though.

Another time, I was standing in line at a clothing store to buy a shirt I placed on hold, and, when I reached the head of the line, a woman behind me asked if she could get in front of me. Her reason was something along the lines of, "You're probably going to buy something while I'm just going to pick something up". I flat out told her, "Do you see anything in my hands?" in a semi-confrontational tone. It's difficult to tell how confrontational I sounded because I have limited "bandwidth" (as Ross put it), but it felt really good to tell her off. She started looking pissed (I guess she thought she was just going to cut in front of me, no questions asked), but I was called to the counter before anything else could be said.

I really like the concept of "shame attacking". I think I've been too nice, and I've let people walk all over me in the past. I almost feel like I need to unleash the a--hole within . Or at least be more assertive (which is what I'm working on right now).
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post #38 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-31-2007, 06:18 AM
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I really want to try some shame-attacking exercises. The thing is that because I look about 12, when I do a lot of these things people either just think it's normal, smile at me indulgently or mutter something about kids nowadays being so rude. Because of this, I am actually not afraid to do many of the suggestions made. I think I would only be afraid of doing it around people who know my real age, and I don't have an opportunity for that until September.

So if anyone has any suggestions that are suitable in my case, please do tell me.
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post #39 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-31-2007, 06:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katelyn
I really want to try some shame-attacking exercises. The thing is that because I look about 12, when I do a lot of these things people either just think it's normal, smile at me indulgently or mutter something about kids nowadays being so rude. Because of this, I am actually not afraid to do many of the suggestions made. I think I would only be afraid of doing it around people who know my real age, and I don't have an opportunity for that until September.

So if anyone has any suggestions that are suitable in my case, please do tell me.
The more participants in the challenge (linked several posts above), the better. It would be so cool to have a lot of people posting their challenges, predictions, and results.

I also can pass for a very young age (especially clean-shaven), but I still find most of the suggested challenges to be, well, challenging.

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #40 of 102 (permalink) Old 07-31-2007, 07:33 AM Thread Starter
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re: CBT Shame Attacking Exercises - Terrifying!!


Remember that the aim of the challenge is to actually get disapproval too! The aim is to learn to tolerate it and learn that it doesnt ruin your life. So start small and begin to shore up those defences!!

1) Choose an exercise
2) Predict what will happen and how you will feel when it does so that you can compare reality with expectation.
3) Do it
4) Go back and compare prediction to reality.

Happy disapprovals!!

Ross

PS @ USER: Unleash the inner bast*rd!!

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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