Spiritual Support Thread- What's bothering you? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-03-2019, 01:39 PM Thread Starter
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Spiritual Support Thread- What's bothering you?


Hi everyone, This is a Spiritual Support Thread where we can share what we're going through w/ God and could also get and give support to others.

Well, for me, one of the things is that someone who I thought was my friend has not responded to me in months and I obviously think there's something wrong. I hope he's ok and I hope it's not something I hate and feel is annoying and unnecessary.
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 11:19 PM
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^^ aww praying things work out.

For me its like how long do I have to wait God? I know everything is His timing its just so hard sometimes.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-07-2019, 11:34 PM Thread Starter
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^^ aww praying things work out.

For me its like how long do I have to wait God? I know everything is His timing its just so hard sometimes.
^Thanks! For me too!
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 02:15 PM
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Good thread idea Lily.


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I hope God will help me overcome my people anxiety so that I can attend church and live in the body of Christ.

"It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that."
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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^Thanks! I know how it feels when you want to talk to people but you can't, but I think I've got a different social anxiety than you. God I pray that you will help Musicfan overcome people anxiety so that he can attend church and live in the body of Christ. God I also pray for myself that you'll help me overcome my usual anxiety of looking at people in the eyes. Thank you for listening, in jesus' name I pray. Amen
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 08:27 PM Thread Starter
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I feel so disappointed in a huge way this year but I hope I'll still be happy. life is so hard.
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 08:42 PM
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I am Blessed! Thank you Lord For Everything

Thank you Lily, for starting this group
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-10-2019, 11:06 PM
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Just this whole independence thing.....own place and stuff. God will see me through it I know.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
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I am Blessed! Thank you Lord For Everything

Thank you Lily, for starting this group
^you're welcome. So this thread is about what's bothering you spiritually but you made it into a 'how are you feeling' spiritually thread? lol, it's ok. whatever
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 09:50 PM
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^Thanks! I know how it feels when you want to talk to people but you can't, but I think I've got a different social anxiety than you. God I pray that you will help Musicfan overcome people anxiety so that he can attend church and live in the body of Christ. God I also pray for myself that you'll help me overcome my usual anxiety of looking at people in the eyes. Thank you for listening, in jesus' name I pray. Amen

Thanks lily, yeah I have unique fears and it does makes life difficult. Including being in a room of people for a long time. I prayed for your anxiety to go away and hope it improves.

"It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that."
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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 09:56 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks lily, yeah I have unique fears and it does makes life difficult. Including being in a room of people for a long time. I prayed for your anxiety to go away and hope it improves.
is it bc you're afraid of being looked at? do you have trouble with eye contact? you're welcome and thanks!
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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 10:08 PM
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I have identified one of my issues as being large open spaces and especially open access rooms (and/or larger rooms with open access). I don't enjoy the feeling of being somewhere where just anyone can come moseying along. Like I don't know exactly what I fear is gonna happen if they do. I just don't like it. I don't like being seated in a public seating area. Incredibly anxiety-inducing. And that's on top of whatever the reason is why I'm there in the first place. Which is usually not good. (hospital or something).

Like even our living room bothers me to be in there. I could take my laptop and go in there late at night and have a nicer place to sit but I don't do it because I don't like being in there and it doesn't feel right to not have a door.

That was one reason I hated church (but far from the only one)

/WYSD
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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 10:20 PM
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is it bc you're afraid of being looked at? do you have trouble with eye contact? you're welcome and thanks!

Both of those problems and more. Definitely shy in addition to the stronger social anxiety problems, like sometimes avoiding healthcare and not having a minimum social life. I did grow up a bit sheltered and have had much difficulty at times but it is a long story. Mostly I don't talk too much about the bad parts of myself because it is embarrassing and that leads me to be quiet with other people since they can be judgemental. But I don't mind talking to you lily or some of the people here because you are kind and we do have SA in common.

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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 10:34 PM
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@Musicfan

I have identified one of my issues as being large open spaces and especially open access rooms (and/or larger rooms with open access). I don't enjoy the feeling of being somewhere where just anyone can come moseying along. Like I don't know exactly what I fear is gonna happen if they do. I just don't like it. I don't like being seated in a public seating area. Incredibly anxiety-inducing. And that's on top of whatever the reason is why I'm there in the first place. Which is usually not good. (hospital or something).

Like even our living room bothers me to be in there. I could take my laptop and go in there late at night and have a nicer place to sit but I don't do it because I don't like being in there and it doesn't feel right to not have a door.

That was one reason I hated church (but far from the only one)

Does it bother you that someone would talk to you, and be offensive? That's one of my fears, for some reason I can't stand more than a few people's attention especially when its negative. CBT therapy tries to talk you out of those fears but some have been there since the beginning so it's a primal reaction sometimes. I also think that fear of open spaces might be more common these days with the mass shootings happening.


I've actually never been to a Sunday church service, just watched them on the internet. I might have to ask my doctor for a strict benzo script so that I could go and keep my anxiety from disrupting my focus. Part of the fear is they sometimes ask the congregation to hug and shake the hands of each other and do get personal. So that's something I have to prepare for.

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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 04:18 AM
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Does it bother you that someone would talk to you, and be offensive? That's one of my fears, for some reason I can't stand more than a few people's attention especially when its negative.
Do you mean to ask if that is what makes me anxious about it? If so, I guess that's probably in there but I just dislike everything about it. Like everything about people I don't know makes me anxious. Interestingly, it doesn't really affect me nearly as much online. Except I absolutely will not do anything voice or video and don't like chatrooms. I think it's just spontaneity and being put on the spot is a huge factor in my SA. I hate it.


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I've actually never been to a Sunday church service, just watched them on the internet. I might have to ask my doctor for a strict benzo script so that I could go and keep my anxiety from disrupting my focus. Part of the fear is they sometimes ask the congregation to hug and shake the hands of each other and do get personal. So that's something I have to prepare for.
Yeah. I didn't realize this thread was in the spiritual section when I initially replied so I figured I should add that that was one thing I didn't like about church. I just disliked the whole idea of it the first time I encountered it. Like everything about it bothered me.

/WYSD
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post #16 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 01:34 PM
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Do you mean to ask if that is what makes me anxious about it? If so, I guess that's probably in there but I just dislike everything about it. Like everything about people I don't know makes me anxious. Interestingly, it doesn't really affect me nearly as much online. Except I absolutely will not do anything voice or video and don't like chatrooms. I think it's just spontaneity and being put on the spot is a huge factor in my SA. I hate it.




Yeah. I didn't realize this thread was in the spiritual section when I initially replied so I figured I should add that that was one thing I didn't like about church. I just disliked the whole idea of it the first time I encountered it. Like everything about it bothered me.

Same here with chatrooms and video chat. But with real life situations I think large halls and rooms that seat a lot of people are the worst especially like jury duty where you don't have the ability to leave. Even if people are pleasant it's still risky to be in a situation where you can be judged or attacked. Social anxiety sufferer problems mostly. If you aren't religious then it makes sense that church would be triggering if you have nothing to do with the other people.

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post #17 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 01:53 PM
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I have anxiety about church too, and it's been hard going to a new one that I just started going to. I want to just act normal and comfortable but even though I've only been a few times they can tell I'm nervous. Also I know a few people there but not very well. So I understand your dilemma. Usually when I come in I just find a seat and look at the program until church starts unless people come up to me and say hi. After it starts I just focus on singing or the preaching and try to tune everything else out.

Also most everyone else will be focused on what's going on during church rather than people sitting around them.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #18 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 02:21 PM
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I have anxiety about church too, and it's been hard going to a new one that I just started going to. I want to just act normal and comfortable but even though I've only been a few times they can tell I'm nervous. Also I know a few people there but not very well. So I understand your dilemma. Usually when I come in I just find a seat and look at the program until church starts unless people come up to me and say hi. After it starts I just focus on singing or the preaching and try to tune everything else out.

Also most everyone else will be focused on what's going on during church rather than people sitting around them.

Thanks for sharing. Yeah I worry if I get nervous that the church would reject me like I'm an outsider. I've heard about churches that are a little judgemental and dismissive of single adults, like family based churches. You're right though that people will be mostly focused on the service and probably aren't thinking of people in the pews. Dress code is also a concern of mine since I don't have anything nice to wear.

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post #19 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 08:08 PM
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Thanks for sharing. Yeah I worry if I get nervous that the church would reject me like I'm an outsider. I've heard about churches that are a little judgemental and dismissive of single adults, like family based churches. You're right though that people will be mostly focused on the service and probably aren't thinking of people in the pews. Dress code is also a concern of mine since I don't have anything nice to wear.

It really depends on the denomination. My former church that I attended for just over a decade, was pretty big on appearance. They really encouraged us to dress up for church, most of the guys wore suits and ties, as I did. They certainly wouldn't turn away anyone not dressed like that though. But I felt they were a bit too big on outward appearance. They would take this verse or that and then come up with rules like women can't wear jewelry or pants ever, or men can't wear beards, etc.

I never really agreed with all of that, and after I left I started to see it isn't really true. They were taking a lot of the verses out of context. I don't know that they did it necessarily, but it always seemed like a reason to be one more thing that people would use to look at others as unspiritual because they didn't follow this or that teaching.

The church I go to now is casual. Some people come in suits and ties, but most people don't. Some even wear T-shirts and jeans or shorts to church, and nobody really cares. I actually donated my suits when I left my old church because they didn't fit me that well. Now I usually just wear jeans or khakis and a long sleeve shirt to church. It's comfortable and the focus isn't on having to get dressed up. I was kind of tired of having to dress up all the time for church to be honest at my old one.

After I left my old church, I didn't attend any services at all for a little over a year and a half. I watched services from a few churches around here online to see what they were like, and sometimes I'd watch services online from my old church. I've just last month gotten into attending a church regularly again.

As for the being a single adult, it's not really a big deal. That was what worried me too is that I wouldn't fit in being single. There are families and couples at my new church but there are several single people around me age too. Same at my old church, although most of the singles there have gotten married or engaged lately. But yeah, being a single adult at church is really not that uncommon. I'd say it's more common for Christians to marry than stay single past a certain age, but there are plenty that aren't.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #20 of 34 (permalink) Old 10-16-2019, 01:25 PM
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It really depends on the denomination. My former church that I attended for just over a decade, was pretty big on appearance. They really encouraged us to dress up for church, most of the guys wore suits and ties, as I did. They certainly wouldn't turn away anyone not dressed like that though. But I felt they were a bit too big on outward appearance. They would take this verse or that and then come up with rules like women can't wear jewelry or pants ever, or men can't wear beards, etc.

I never really agreed with all of that, and after I left I started to see it isn't really true. They were taking a lot of the verses out of context. I don't know that they did it necessarily, but it always seemed like a reason to be one more thing that people would use to look at others as unspiritual because they didn't follow this or that teaching.

The church I go to now is casual. Some people come in suits and ties, but most people don't. Some even wear T-shirts and jeans or shorts to church, and nobody really cares. I actually donated my suits when I left my old church because they didn't fit me that well. Now I usually just wear jeans or khakis and a long sleeve shirt to church. It's comfortable and the focus isn't on having to get dressed up. I was kind of tired of having to dress up all the time for church to be honest at my old one.

After I left my old church, I didn't attend any services at all for a little over a year and a half. I watched services from a few churches around here online to see what they were like, and sometimes I'd watch services online from my old church. I've just last month gotten into attending a church regularly again.

As for the being a single adult, it's not really a big deal. That was what worried me too is that I wouldn't fit in being single. There are families and couples at my new church but there are several single people around me age too. Same at my old church, although most of the singles there have gotten married or engaged lately. But yeah, being a single adult at church is really not that uncommon. I'd say it's more common for Christians to marry than stay single past a certain age, but there are plenty that aren't.

That's useful information about church attending. And good to hear that you've gone back to church. I figure a casual church would be best to start out in. Also I need to figure out which denomination fits best so I'm working on a short list of churches to try. But will probably stick with one that's loose on clothing policy. It's not that I'm opposed to nice suits or formal wear, just that I'm fashion challenged. Which is kind of dumb to worry about but I don't want to stand out, respectfully and due to SA. That's also relieving to hear that being single isn't such a big deal, maybe it's a good way to start friendships with other single people if you get into the programs available.

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