I know I sound stupid saying this, but I talk to god in my head (well or at least that is what I name the voice in my head now). Now I have a financial crisis kind of situation around me and any expense I make burns a bigger hole in my pocket. TO add to that I had to get some medications for improving my married life... but the pills I was prescribed are crazy expensive and can't be part of insurances. I was so angry that day, I mean this is something I really need, this is not beer or alcohol or porn it is needed for my marriage, for our future and it is this expensive. I was so angry I lashed out on (my version of) god, I said he is wrong yelled a lot in my head...but then in a few minutes not even hours, my wife complained of a pain again (she had this pain for about a 3 years before where docs didn't even know the reason, she struggled a lot but it had subsided since almost the beginning of this year) no it was back. I was so scared, I immediately asked for forgiveness, I said sorry I lashed out, I apologized a lot (it is all happening in my head) and her pain went away in some time.
I don't know what to do, I feel trapped, there are so many places I am going to loose money in near future and they seem unavoidable. Why does this have to happen? and why am I not able to have good conversations with him anymore
Scared, Depressed, anxious and kind off traumatized person