How Do You Keep From Getting Angry at People Online? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 02:09 PM Thread Starter
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How Do You Keep From Getting Angry at People Online?


Often times I write a post or something else and I get a response or two or three that I don't like. Often times it is because I don't feel like the other people really understand what it is I'm going through and/or the answers are over simplified solutions. Just do this or just do that, kind of thing.... Sometimes I even feel mocked by some people. I've been trying to figure out how to not let people get to me so bad. I think part of my problem is, I'm too transparent. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I share things that are extremely important too me. Things that are already hurting me deep, which is why I wrote about it. Sometimes I feel like the readers don't respect that about my situation. Pastor Bob on youtube says that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is just listen. As Christians I think we need to just pray more for each other and give advice less. For an example: If you give someone advice and they decide not to take it, why do you keep giving the same advice? I think that is the time to show the person respect, stop giving the advice, and just tell them that you are praying for them. And then just pray. Then you won't upset the other person, and run the risk of loosing contact. What do you think?
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 03:31 PM
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On a forum it's hard to determine if a person really cares about what you post. It's harder to spot sarcasm, perhaps you think people aren't listening but it isn't always the truth. When you post something you expect someone will answer, reading that answer is hard when you can't see the other person's face.

I have deleted my account at several forums ( not related to SA) because I got responses to threads that made me feel bad. Sometimes I would post something stupid, other users who are much smarter than me (I'm guessing at least 90% of the world's population) ridiculed me and the only thing on my mind is to get rid of the place asap.
After some time the old demon that is low self esteem in me just pops up and makes my head spin. It happens every time.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 04:35 PM
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accept that humans suck and that random people online don't matter.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by silentstruggle View Post
accept that humans suck and that random people online don't matter.
..Yes you're right, I don't matter.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 04:51 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
On a forum it's hard to determine if a person really cares about what you post. It's harder to spot sarcasm, perhaps you think people aren't listening but it isn't always the truth. When you post something you expect someone will answer, reading that answer is hard when you can't see the other person's face.

I have deleted my account at several forums ( not related to SA) because I got responses to threads that made me feel bad. Sometimes I would post something stupid, other users who are much smarter than me (I'm guessing at least 90% of the world's population) ridiculed me and the only thing on my mind is to get rid of the place asap.
After some time the old demon that is low self esteem in me just pops up and makes my head spin. It happens every time.
I have one comment to make. I have low self esteem. One of my teachers told me that I have the worst inferiority complex He ever seen!
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 04:56 PM
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some people are just hostile by intention, overreacting, misunderstanding, misunderstood, dont have the full picture, too serious, etc etc.

the best way to deal with people that irritate you is to discard them, block them, ignore them.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:18 PM
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I have one comment to make. I have low self esteem. One of my teachers told me that I have the worst inferiority complex He ever seen!
We could make an excellent duo then.
I'd get nervous if a one legged man challenges me for a sprint. In fact I'm pretty sure I'd find a way to fail to win
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:23 PM
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We could make an excellent duo then.
I'd get nervous if a one legged man challenges me for a sprint. In fact I'm pretty sure I'd find a way to fail to win
I'm a pretty good judge of character & I'm pretty sure the world contains bigger losers than you






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:26 PM
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I'm a pretty good judge of character & I'm pretty sure the world contains bigger losers than you
Thanks but the facts are clear. I'm 36 and apart from getting a bachelors degree (barely) I have got nothing to show for. No property whatsoever, no social life (honestly I don't even miss that), no job. What I do have is lots and lots of self pity.
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:28 PM
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I'm a pretty good judge of character & I'm pretty sure the world contains bigger losers than you

can you judge my character?

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:40 PM
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can you judge my character?
.

Ok, you're not really someone I would associate with, very anti meat, but you dated a post op transexual so I have no choice but to like you until further notice.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:54 PM
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.

Ok, you're not really someone I would associate with, very anti meat, but you dated a post op transexual so I have no choice but to like you until further notice.

nice judgement . is dating a post op trans really such a redeeming feature? its for entirely selfish reasons. i'm just surprised you didn't say that i'm evil.


people gonna get angry with me for derailing thread. use the fine techniques already mentioned please.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 06:08 PM
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is dating a post op trans really such a redeeming feature? its for entirely selfish reasons. i'm just surprised you didn't say that i'm evil.
I don't know I just like it, It's not my place to judge what's evil.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 11:08 PM
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I guess you want a biblical advice? Can't have a spirit of offense, can't let stuff that doesn't matter get to us.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 11:20 PM
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Everyone gets angry about random stuff all the time. I guess to some degree I used to get a lot more angry at people on the internet than I do now because at some point you just have to realize that people are going to disagree with you. That's just how it is. It's OK. And if it really bothers you, put some time between yourself and them so you can cool off and do something else for awhile to get your mind off of it. You will pretty much never feel better about anything if you stay wound up all the time over some random person who said something you didn't like.

/WYSD
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 11:41 PM
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I just get angry at real life people instead so when I come here I am free of anger
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 11:59 AM
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I simply avoid certain online communities or I use the block button. In my offline life, I only open up to a small group of people. They usually just pray for me and do not judge. Certain struggles other believers will not understand unless they've been there themselves. I know who I can take my problems to and who I cannot. For example, with anxiety, I know I can go to a therapist or a Christian mentor who has a ministry that deals with anxiety. I know most Christians are not equipped or understand enough to handle this problem. I tell my trusted friends to pray and then I seek help from those who have the knowledge to treat the condition.
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-10-2019, 06:24 AM Thread Starter
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I simply avoid certain online communities or I use the block button. In my offline life, I only open up to a small group of people. They usually just pray for me and do not judge. Certain struggles other believers will not understand unless they've been there themselves. I know who I can take my problems to and who I cannot. For example, with anxiety, I know I can go to a therapist or a Christian mentor who has a ministry that deals with anxiety. I know most Christians are not equipped or understand enough to handle this problem. I tell my trusted friends to pray and then I seek help from those who have the knowledge to treat the condition.
I've met a lot of people in my life, who seem to think they got the 'answers' for me. It's not my fault that the answers they give is impracticable to my living situations. They get upset when they can't change me into what they think I should be. Once they realize they can't change me then they stop being my friend.

Frankly the Churches and Counselors around here were not very good to me. Which is why I often end up talking about this stuff online. Even though I know from experience that the Internet forums aren't very good, it's my only option.
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-10-2019, 07:58 AM
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I've met a lot of people in my life, who seem to think they got the 'answers' for me. It's not my fault that the answers they give is impracticable to my living situations. They get upset when they can't change me into what they think I should be. Once they realize they can't change me then they stop being my friend.

Frankly the Churches and Counselors around here were not very good to me. Which is why I often end up talking about this stuff online. Even though I know from experience that the Internet forums aren't very good, it's my only option.
I understand. I tried pastoral counseling twice, it was awful. I know it was helpful for some of my church friends but definitely not helpful for me. The only people who were helpful for me was a Christian lady at my church who actually had her MFT license and at another church I took an anxiety/stress workshop-support group run by a Christian man who was a Psychologist. See what other churches in your area have to offer. Try out different counselors. It's like trying to find the right doctor, some are bad, some are great.
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-10-2019, 09:57 AM
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