♎ Mackinac Island Fanatic
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At the bottom of Lake Algonquin (Michigan)
I've never been popular anywhere in my life. My recurring pattern is I go mostly unnoticed (even when I try hard to be noticed) except for being a vague annoyance (the reaction is usually "Stop posting so much" or "Keep your messages shorter") and/or trolled (probably because I'm gullible and easily upset and that appeals to trolls). School was no different.
In elementary school I was somewhat known as a good student and rather creative, but after sixth grade this changed. My closest friend moved away and my shyness began to turn into social anxiety disorder so I started to withdraw. I was then mostly invisible. Had a few friends off and on but most of the time was alone and kept to myself. Stayed out of trouble. Was teased/bullied some but mostly just ignored. My creativity and intelligence weren't considered unique anymore; lots of others did better than I did. I seemed to have a vague reputation as a "good writer" but it wasn't based on anything factual, because none of my peers had actually read anything of mine; I was always carrying a folder of my material around so I think this was what the reputation was based on. Whenever somebody said they'd heard I was a good writer (I don't know who from) and I offered to let them read something, they declined. So it was an empty reputation. :/
My schools didn't have clearcut "cliques" but I didn't fit in with any groups anyway, not even the smart "nerdy" students, because those students were also outgoing and overachieving in that they took part in lots of after-school things which I did not do. So I was just middling smart, not exceptional.
Teachers tend to remember me for some reason which I don't understand, since literally all I did was get good grades, I didn't stand out or excel or participate in anything extracurricular whatsoever. (A guidance counselor expressed concern for me but it never went anywhere, not even when I identified a pair of bullies I'd been dealing with.)
Unfortunately, teachers seem to remember me in the context of thinking I was going to make something of myself (again, I don't know why or where they got this idea), and so whenever I run into them they're first hopeful to hear how I'm doing but then disappointed when they learn I haven't accomplished anything in my life whatsoever. -_-
If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.
(Devetko's boyfriend Stan Brooks & Det. Reichert are horsing around.)
Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."
(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )
"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island