Living alone vs. Living with gf/bf/partner - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 11:13 AM Thread Starter
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Living alone vs. Living with gf/bf/partner


http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayof...x.html?hpt=Mid

I have lived alone for the past 7 years, yet I am concerned that I will have problems adjusting to living with other people again in the future. Part of it is that I have things setup really well, and I'm probably using 85% of the space right now. And there are quite a few other things that I'm sure most people wouldn't find 'normal'.

Do you like living by yourself? Do you worry about how much you would have to change your life to live with someone else?
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 11:19 AM
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I live by myself, and I find I like it a lot better than when I was living with my mom and grandma. I have to take care of myself - and I have no one but myself to rely on when I'm really sick (like recently when I had a bad virus) - but I like the independence.

On one hand, though, I miss the interaction with other people. There's nobody to interact with here, except my cat. I can call friends, and we get together, but at the end of the day I'm going home to an empty apartment.

Although I'd hate to live with someone else, too. I can't stand the thought of someone throwing out my prized possessions, or damaging them in some way. I guess I'm possessive of my personal property, but I have a lot of nice things, and I hate the idea of someone wrecking them.



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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 12:13 PM
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I love living on my own. The weekend mornings are the best. Well, pretty much any morning waking up to my own place is good, but weekend mornings are the best. First, of course, is having absolutely no time I have to be up except my own, and then reading one of the many books I have lying around. After that comes a hot shower with the heater on (my bathroom has its own little wall mounted heater that pumps out really warm air) and maybe some raw oatmeal. Then a 20 minute walk into town to get magazines (national geographic and some crafty thing) and my Starbucks. Then I spend at least an hour sitting in the coffee shop reading. Then I get whatever food I want to eat later, then stroll back to my flat listening to the ol mp3 player all the way and totally daydreaming, sometimes I don't remember the actual walk back.

yes, life is lived dangerously here in the fast lane that is my life. I do truly love having my own place to myself though. But then, I have almost always lived with other people, so I suppose it's only natural I would savor this opportunity. It would now take a lot for me to even consider living with someone else. there's dirty dishes in the sink, but they were dirtied by no one but me.

There's clothes on the bedroom floor, but they were left there by me. I don't have to worry about someone else's mess, and no one expects me to clean up after them. and I don't have to feel guilty about having my artsy craftsy crap lying around. I can leave paint in the kitchen and brushes on any table I choose. Right now the dining table is piled high with sketchbooks, and they're all mine. Isn't that what the dining table is for? who actually "dines" any more, anyway?

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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 12:18 PM
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I've never actually got to enjoy living alone. I remember the year I moved in with a couple of roommates and just hated it. I would've killed to have had my own apartment because I'm sure they thought I was weird. I rarely left my room or even talked with them! We were nothing alike! ahhh That was torture.

Since then I've lived with my friend (ex, dun dun dun) for a few months before moving in with my current bf. I've been with him for 4 years now. But since I don't have a job, I'm mostly alone during the days, which is niiiice. So I get the best of both world I suppose.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 01:19 PM
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right now i live at home. but i have lived by myself before (in school) and i hated it. i was in a deep hole of depression. i think it was because i lived "at school"...thus could not leave except for weekends. its almost like living at your job and never being able to escape. i did not have a car to use either so i was trapped. i will be moving on my own once i'm done with school...and i'm hoping it won't be as bad as before.

i've never been in a relationship so i can't say about that...but for living with just a random roommate- that's like flipping a coin...i had a great experience with it one time- and a horrible experience another. i rather just be alone if i don't know of anyone. overall tho- its depressing to live alone long term...for me it would be temporary/it's not my style to live alone...u handled it well so i give u props.


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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 04:12 PM
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6.5 years here.

I do have to say it's quite good most of the time with plenty of flexibility, but it can get a bit boring from time to time.

I have to say that I am quite unsure of how I'd react to living with a GF after all these years being used to doing things my own way.

(And, yes, my dining table is piled high with my law class notes...)
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 04:16 PM
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I have been living alone for the past 3-4 months. It's nice but it would also be nice to have some people around (s.o. or roommates). I don't like being aloone all the time.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 04:49 PM
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What's gf stand for and why would you live with one?

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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 04:52 PM
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I don't know, There's good and bad points for both. My personality likes being alone though, nothing to lose.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 05:03 PM
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I moved into my own place for the first time a few months ago. It's great to not bother about roomates, but if I had a choice, I'd much rather live with an SO.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-27-2010, 05:27 PM
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I enjoy living alone (with my daughter) at times it's lonley, however, I was married for many years, at first it was hard to adjust, but then........I get to use the remote, actually hold it in my hand, I can come and go as I please, if I want to eat dinner at midnight I can, I can buy what I want, without having to say "Honey, I've had it for years" I don't have to have anothers approval. Again, it gets lonley at times, but.....At this stage in my life, I don't see me ever living with another person, now a goldon lab, I could open my home too.;-)

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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-30-2010, 04:41 AM
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Technically, I've only lived on my own for a week. I was in transitioning between living arrangements at the time and staying at a hotel. I can say I thoroughly enjoyed it-coming and going as I pleased, answering to no one... I do think living on my own would agree with me, though I certainly would get lonely at times (though I do, anyway). When I was living with my father, he was on the road a lot, so I have spent quite a bit of time "on my own". When I think about that time period, I was terribly lonely and depressed, so now that I think about it, it might not be such a great thing after all.

Quote:
I've been with him for 4 years now. But since I don't have a job, I'm mostly alone during the days, which is niiiice
Change four to five, and that's me as well. He's one of the few people in this world that I can see day after day and not want to strangle. I'm reminded of this from time to time when I'm around relatives for prolonged periods of time.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-30-2010, 05:47 AM
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I have never lived alone. I was 16 living with my mom when my GF moved in with me. We lived there until I turned 18 when we got married and moved away.

It didn't make any difference to me whether I was living at home or on my own. I didn't have a controlling mother and was able to do whatever I wanted anyways. I have always been a responsible person though. I didn't get in any trouble even though I was free to do so. I could go to bed when I wanted and get up when I wanted, just as I do now. The amount of sleep I need for the following day dictates my bedtime. Or, I just go to bed when I get tired.

I have more responsibilities now than when I lived at home. I have to take care of everything myself now. Before I just had to do my laundry.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-31-2010, 09:34 PM
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If you find the right person it's a non issue. You just make space because you want to and they respect your space so it doesn't bother you. If you find the wrong person they can really drive you insane whether you've spent 10 years living alone or 1.

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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-31-2010, 10:10 PM
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can only imagen living with my wife
couldnt handle living with somebody else
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