do you feel like people are people? - Social Anxiety Forum
View Poll Results: what do people feel like?
all people feel like people 9 31.03%
online people generally feel like ghosts 6 20.69%
real life people generally feel like obstacles 8 27.59%
people are only real in the abstract 2 6.90%
people are more real in the abstract 4 13.79%
online people might not be people at all 3 10.34%
real life people are cyborgs 2 6.90%
everything is an illusion 7 24.14%
i generally acknowledge online people's feelings 13 44.83%
i generally acknowledge real life people's feelings 9 31.03%
i only acknowledge feelings of people i care about 4 13.79%
i feel like the only person that exists 3 10.34%
online people don't matter 1 3.45%
online people matter to some degree 6 20.69%
online people matter as much as real life people 8 27.59%
they're all just dirty meat bags 5 17.24%
people's thoughts/language are intrusive and to be avoided 2 6.90%
i can't get personal with people online or in real life generally 13 44.83%
i want to know people generally more online 9 31.03%
i want to know people generally more in real life 12 41.38%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 29. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 02:23 PM Thread Starter
pirate
 
andy1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: chch
Language: english, silence
Gender: Non-binary
Age: 34
Posts: 5,969
My Mood: Amazed
Question

do you feel like people are people?


people online feel very different to people irl. and people i feel close to online feel different from people i feel close to irl. and in general i don't feel like people are people but obstacles - this is more irl than online. i know people online have feelings etc and sometimes i see that. i guess the same goes for people in real life that i avoid/keep at a distance.


sorry if the poll options are a bit random/nonsense.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
andy1984 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 03:00 PM
.
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 35,521


I barely interact with people in real life now so I dunno about that. I'm not close with people online but I see people as real usually. I mean some people are fake designed characters, but I still imagine someone behind their fake designed character.

Quote:
Please don't attempt to raid Nevada to 'see them aliens' as part of the internet's joke du jour, the US air force will not be amused.
Slavoj Žižek on the horrors of tulips.

🎸

My computer thinks I'm gay
What's the difference anyway
When all the people do all day
Is stare into a phone
Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #3 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 03:45 PM
Greasy prospector
 
blue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The salty spitoon
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,009
My Mood: Lurking
I don't like real people cause apparently they're all better than me, any I've met anyway, why do they posture so ?






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is offline  
 
post #4 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 03:48 PM
SAS Member
 
komorikun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Language: 英語と日本語
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,978
I was thinking of that video too.

Kitty Therapy

The Meaning of Life

The Grim Reaper

We're going riding on the freeway......
komorikun is offline  
post #5 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 05:32 PM
Russian Modster
 
A Toxic Butterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: U.S.
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,435
I think when you're not close, comparing online and irl, you're in a person's presence and have a visual understanding it's another human being you're talking to, just not invested in them enough to consider their human status (do they have family, a job, affiliations). Online it's words generated via a computer so it feels like a bunch of nameless, faceless entities just shooting off words anonymously. It can feel very inhuman.

But once you get to a point of familiarity, I feel they become more real. Even if you don't talk to them. Using the forum as an example, their username becomes part of the identity and you associate their posts are part of their personality and can start to associate them as a someone.

As for feeling differently regarding closeness, I think online provides an intimate, internal look at someone where the walls generally go down and you can talk about things that may be harder to when you have the person right in front of you. There's something about the living, breathing, physical human presence and eye contact that suddenly feels like the walls are necessary and keeping up some kind of facade.

Online it's like you can share your soul in a weird way, without feeling as judged or in someone's personal space. I don't know, that's just how it seems to me.

:: Anybody else want to run? Contorting, distorting, I am undone. One less propaganda nightmare fixture. Are you getting the picture? Separate. I've lost my only way. See the shape, Broken and thrown away. ::


Попроси у облаков
Подарить нам белых снов
Ночь плывет и мы за ней
В мир таинственных огней
A Toxic Butterfly is offline  
post #6 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-16-2019, 10:47 AM
Permanently tired
 
AffinityWing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: barely livings ave.
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Posts: 1,741
My Mood: Dead
I've had many online friends in the past, but now that I've lost every last one, I've come to not care for online friendships anymore. Now that losing those online friends has left me lonelier than ever, I've realized making IRL friends should be my priority. I constantly used online friends in middle and high school to make up for not having pretty much any IRL ones but they all moved on with no hope of me re-contacting them, unlike if they had been ones I had IRL. I was much more forgettable online, after all. (Ironically enough, even though it was the only place I thought I could be myself.).

I've disagreed with the fact that online friends can't be genuine, as they were some of the most realest friendships I felt I have had, but that was just because they were one of the only things remotely close to a real friendship I've experienced. With how different I personally acted online and IRL I'm sure that still left of many of them questionable.

If most of those online friends had met with me IRL, they would have rejected me just like many other people and be incredibly disappointed once they see what an unconfident, SA-riddled loser I actually am. Which actually happened with one online friend that I had known for over 5-6 years and with who I used to chat with on Skype every single day. After she met me IRL for the first time, she started talking to me online much less and after the second, she stopped talking to me completely. I'm sure she was expecting a completely different kind of person, not someone who could barely even make eye contact... ffs So I'm done going out of my way trying to make online connections just in order to make up for my lack of physical ones. Even though now I'm pretty friendless both IRL and online, having online friends will continue to do nothing for me if I don't fix my physical social life.

After writing this rant, I'm not sure if you were asking about people online in general, friends or not. My contact with other people online has been much more short-lived and loose, so I don't have as much experience with it. I only really kept to my respective online friend circles when it came to chatting with other people...



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


Mili
AffinityWing is offline  
post #7 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-16-2019, 12:29 PM Thread Starter
pirate
 
andy1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: chch
Language: english, silence
Gender: Non-binary
Age: 34
Posts: 5,969
My Mood: Amazed
Quote:
Originally Posted by AffinityWing View Post
After writing this rant, I'm not sure if you were asking about people online in general, friends or not. My contact with other people online has been much more short-lived and loose, so I don't have as much experience with it. I only really kept to my respective online friend circles when it came to chatting with other people...
yeah I was comparing how I think of online ppl with offline ppl etc when I made the thread. I don't really have online friends anymore either, not for a long time. some online ppl I seemed to realise kind of suddenly as being more fully ppl. which is not a level of intimacy I really wanted or expected from ppl I don't even directly interact with. so idk it's weird.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
andy1984 is offline  
post #8 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-16-2019, 02:20 PM
Broke boy
 
TheForestWasDark's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 718
Nopeee. I think squirrels are squirrels. They dont care about doing the dirty on ur fence in ur backyard!! but people are trapped in this state of who they should project to the world and tie their ego to everything.
TheForestWasDark is offline  
post #9 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-16-2019, 05:04 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 12,520
I think people act very strangely online - they say things they obviously would never say to someone in person. (me included of course)

I also think it's very important to limit the amount of time you spend online in general - it's not an accurate indication of real life.
harrison is offline  
post #10 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 06:27 AM
All Nightmare Long
 
Scrub-Zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 13,884
My Mood: Twisted
Maybe they're not people


Gather your party before venturing forth. And if you don't have a party, at least you don't have to wait on anyone.
Scrub-Zero is offline  
post #11 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 06:50 AM
The Meditator
 
Suchness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Planet Namek, Australia
Language: Enlgish
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 4,825
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrub-Zero View Post
Maybe they're not people

What were people like in the 80s?
Suchness is online now  
post #12 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 11:12 AM
Flying Backwards
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 27,363
My Mood: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suchness View Post
What were people like in the 80s?
In general? A lot more innocent. (Not sure if that's the right term)

------------

In case of emergency, my husk can be used as a flotation device.
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #13 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 11:25 AM
The Groat King
 
funnynihilist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 15,689
Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
In general? A lot more innocent. (Not sure if that's the right term)
Idk if I'd say they were innocent. Gen X was way more rebellious than the millennials ever were.

I'd have to say people were less jaded then. More open and involved.
funnynihilist is offline  
post #14 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 11:36 AM
Flying Backwards
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 27,363
My Mood: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by funnynihilist View Post
Idk if I'd say they were innocent. Gen X was way more rebellious than the millennials ever were.

I'd have to say people were less jaded then. More open and involved.

Hmmm. I'm not really sure what the word I'm really looking for is. I mean, not totally innocent. No. Of course not. I guess it just seems that way in comparison when you're disillusioned with what's going on now.

Of course I was pretty disillusioned with then at the time but I kind of made a certain peace with it and accepted it in a way. Kinda not able to do that now.

------------

In case of emergency, my husk can be used as a flotation device.
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #15 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 02:36 PM
AKA Pete Beale
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 3,953
Growing up with Gen X sucked for me. Arseholes everywhere. People were more small minded and the world was much smaller. There was no help. No escape. No internet to meet like minded people. It was a smaller, horrible world. I wish I was a millennial then I wouldn't have been so isolated in my teens and early 20's and I wouldn't have just given up to hide away and live in my head.
The Notorious D.B.L is offline  
post #16 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 04:36 PM
The Meditator
 
Suchness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Planet Namek, Australia
Language: Enlgish
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 4,825
Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
In general? A lot more innocent. (Not sure if that's the right term)
In general and specifically like the different groups that were around, etc.
Suchness is online now  
post #17 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 04:41 PM
Flying Backwards
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 27,363
My Mood: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suchness View Post
In general and specifically like the different groups that were around, etc.
Well, I wasn't too "plugged in" in those days (and never really have been) but most people I knew back then seemed that way to me. Not that there were not sophisticated people around. I would just say the majority of people would have seemed very naive compared to now.

------------

In case of emergency, my husk can be used as a flotation device.
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #18 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 04:52 PM
The Meditator
 
Suchness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Planet Namek, Australia
Language: Enlgish
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 4,825
Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Well, I wasn't too "plugged in" in those days (and never really have been) but most people I knew back then seemed that way to me. Not that there were not sophisticated people around. I would just say the majority of people would have seemed very naive compared to now.
Ah yeah, makes sense. In the 90's the world still felt very young so I can imagine it felt that way even more in the 80s.
Suchness is online now  
post #19 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-21-2019, 01:42 PM
Flying Backwards
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 27,363
My Mood: Relaxed
I'll admit that on this forum (for example) that people who have posted actual pictures of themselves seem more like people to me. Not that everyone else doesn't, necessarily. Just that it's easier for me to bear in mind that this is a real person and not just a collection of words on the screen.

I mean, of course I know that but sometimes it's easy to forget it when someone has gone out of their way to subvert any and everything you've tried to say. Yes. At that point a person starts to seem more like a purpose-built obstacle. I think most people can fall into that line of thinking when they encounter a higher than normal level of friction from other people. It's kinda hard not to.

I think it's hard to get a good feel for who a person is when you're taking what they've written out of context of everything else they've ever written. Like if you just now encountered a person and they're pissing you off, you might not have a clear idea of who you're talking to.

(The poll is confusing and has too many options. )

------------

In case of emergency, my husk can be used as a flotation device.
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #20 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-21-2019, 05:36 PM
🐞 Moderator 🐞
 
Silent Memory's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Posts: 6,413
I feel like all people are people, but sometimes my mind will blend some people into one person and it can be hard to separate them unless I start finding out more about each person.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Silent Memory is online now  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A Non-Socially Anxious Person's Guide to Making Friends Triumphant21 Coping With Social Anxiety 3 02-25-2019 10:26 AM
Frustrated Renovation Work 258 06-21-2016 06:23 PM
How I overcome my Anxiety! AnxietySingle Coping With Social Anxiety 17 11-01-2013 10:40 AM
How to become more sucessful in 3 weeks defoe Coping With Social Anxiety 8 07-12-2010 01:32 PM
SAnxiety scale and background factor questionnaire (long) Pinzelhead Coping With Social Anxiety 6 05-10-2008 11:25 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome