Do you belong here? - Social Anxiety Forum
View Poll Results: Do you belong here?
Yes 15 27.27%
No 21 38.18%
I don't know 19 34.55%
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post #1 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-02-2019, 11:00 PM Thread Starter
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Do you belong here?


Over the years I have heard (read) repeatedly that SASers will often say "I don't belong here". Meaning, they don't feel like SAS is a place they feel comfortable. Not belonging is a big issue with SA people. The whole reason we seek a place like this forum is to feel like we belong.

Do you think you belong here? Why or why not?
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post #2 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-02-2019, 11:37 PM
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For the time being i feel like it's a good forum distract myself, or to express my thoughts and beliefs while learning from others. I don't think i'm that resourceful as a person in that I don't have any ground-breaking ideas or thoughts. I am just another person that is very anxious and confused, but not as good at hiding it..i try to tell myself it's ok and what defines "me" is how I move forward as a cog, or not. I'm trying to turn my misanthropy inwards but have a lot of work to do on myself. It can manifest into anger and hate which is a very bad form of the ego. Everyone has the ability to do terrible things and be cruel. This is a facet i have not accepted yet. I just limit contact with others and just try to get through the day at this point without asking too many questions and try not to be another jackass running amok in the street.

This site helps me procrastinate I find which is good and bad depending on how you look at it but ill try to limit my use more in the near-future as i need other outlets and hobbies.
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post #3 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-02-2019, 11:42 PM
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I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. But maybe I'm just angsty.

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post #4 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-02-2019, 11:48 PM Thread Starter
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I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. But maybe I'm just angsty.
Do you get the impression that there isn't anyone else here who feels the same way?

------------

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post #5 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-02-2019, 11:54 PM
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No. Most of what I write here is promptly ignored. The people who tend to do best on this site now are the ones who pick a topic or mood and beat that same drum daily, over and over, until people identify their username with that topic or mood.
I guess you call that building a brand haha and I just don't have the energy for that.
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post #6 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 12:03 AM
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Don View Post
I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. But maybe I'm just angsty.
Do you get the impression that there isn't anyone else here who feels the same way?
I relate to a lot that people post on here and feel some solidarity by being here, but at the same time being in an online forum seems like a poor substitute for human connection. I don't really feel "integrated" into a community when I'm here. But I also feel that way in real life when I've tried being in groups/communities. I've actually made a couple of accounts before on this site. This is the first one that I've been somewhat active with though, so my mindset has changed a little in terms of feeling like I belong.

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post #7 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 12:16 AM
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nobody belongs here

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―Balon Greyjoy
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post #8 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 01:16 AM
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I've got a bit of an impostor syndrome thing going on. I know that's what it is and I can rationalise it, because I feel that way about everything, not just SA. So on a bad day I look around the forum and think: "well, this person and that person have serious SA, and I'm just here for the ride". Or: "what am I playing at, I should get my head out of my arse and pull myself together". Or: "I only feel that way because I'm being self-indulgent".

On most days, though, I feel like I belong. Then I feel that I've got a bit of a connection with some users and the forum has a homely feel, where I can go for banter, venting and some straight talking. I recognise my own thought and behaviour patterns in other people's stories and feel less alone.

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post #9 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:18 AM
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i've posted a lot and been here a long time, but i guess i am not that memorable, lol....going off some recent events. i guess that is ok in some ways.

i'm not close w/ anyone on here, too, obviously.

do i feel like i belong here? i guess i don't feel all that welcome, but not so unwelcome...if this makes sense.
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post #10 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:25 AM
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In comparison to other places, yes.

An actual suffering strengthens,
As sinews do, with age.
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post #11 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:36 AM
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Yeh.

I feel here I can be pretty much the raw, unfiltered, emotionally reactive, sometimes a bit of an arse version of me that I can't quite be anywhere else. Also have been posting for so long now I do feel a bit like the people here are a weird family hah.

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post #12 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:41 AM
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I do feel a bit like the people here are a weird family hah.

you're the dad then


think i'm one of many creepy uncles

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post #13 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:46 AM
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you're the dad then
Well that would explain why this particular family is so dysfunctional .

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post #14 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Over the years I have heard (read) repeatedly that SASers will often say "I don't belong here". Meaning, they don't feel like SAS is a place they feel comfortable. Not belonging is a big issue with SA people. The whole reason we seek a place like this forum is to feel like we belong.

Do you think you belong here? Why or why not?
Whether I belong here and whether I feel like I am accepted are totally different things.

Be kind to one another
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post #15 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 10:32 AM
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I belong in this asylum.

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post #16 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 12:24 PM
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I don't know, I'm not always being 100% authentic here because there's stuff I'd like to vent about that I either don't or touch on briefly. I think if I didn't restrict myself in this way for example if I made tons of threads about whatever's bothering me in detail, I'd annoy and offend many people (I don't care about bothering people depending on what it is, but with some stuff I do.) I also feel like I reach a depth of hatred and anger that many here can't relate to, I often identify with people/groups that people here hate. If I read about some serial killer I can usually see myself in their profile but it seems like most people can't or just pretend they can't relate, I don't know what it is. Like Ted Kaczynski or Joanna Dennehy or whoever (Not to say I'm exactly the same as any one person who has done something horrific but there are often similarities.) Not Elliot Rodger though I guess, ironically.

There are also other things about myself that I think set me apart from most people here that aren't related to anxiety. I also seem more dysfunctional than most people here in terms of life success and such.

I also think the atmosphere here was better in the past in some ways, so that's a bit sad.

Having said that this is one of the few places online where I've felt remotely comfortable and also allows a wide array of random discussion instead of being mostly focused on specific topics like other places I hang out online (Discord chat servers.) Also something about this place kept me coming back for such a long amount of time when I rarely do elsewhere. I'm usually more of a lurker/sporadic poster in other places. I guess it's comfortable in some way even if it's not 100% comfortable.

I think the Discord servers I hang out in are the 2nd best place I've found, they're full of autistic spectrum people (some diagnosed, some not,) with some similar special interests to me. However I'm not really close with any of these people and the atmosphere there is different to here. It's a little more open in some ways, but at the same time is less homely. Also a couple I've ended up in are less healthy than this forum, or can be that way some people I talk to are bizarrely sane (and one of those people is a hardcore sadist who is aroused by cooking/eating people which I love the contrast of. One of the most level headed people I've met online.) and some people are very the opposite and never not having a mental break down (where are in-between people anyway? Oh right this forum, yeah.) Different kinds of unhealthy/crazy though.

At the end of the day though I am often surrounded by people who hate themselves and other people, lots of suicidal people too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by funnynihilist View Post
No. Most of what I write here is promptly ignored. The people who tend to do best on this site now are the ones who pick a topic or mood and beat that same drum daily, over and over, until people identify their username with that topic or mood.
I guess you call that building a brand haha and I just don't have the energy for that.
I notice your posts quite often even if I don't respond to them.

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post #17 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 12:37 PM
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nobody belongs here
I don't want to be on this bloody site, man. No one does.
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post #18 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 12:57 PM
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Historically, yes. It's been a nice little cove where I had a sense of anonymity void of drama.

Definitely less as of recent. Part of that is because I chose to become a mod, I guess.

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post #19 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 01:54 PM
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I feel I can relate to some people here. So the answer would be "yes".

Talented people do a lot of things, but Geniuses do what they do best.
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post #20 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-03-2019, 02:05 PM
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I don't feel like I belong anywhere, but I feel I belong a little more here than most places.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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