Your top 5 biggest regrets in life? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 06:34 PM
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~picked the wrong college
~picked the wrong major
~quit driving for no good reason many years ago and have never done it since
~stayed in a job I hated with a terrible boss for far longer than I should have due to anxiety. Now at a different job and in the same stalemate.
~my absolute biggest regret...not moving away and being on my own. I was naive as a teen
and young adult and never considered that option when I should have. Years later, I am still stuck in this miserable place I hate with zero independence and little hope for any change.
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post #42 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 07:39 PM
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I think I wish I would have done the military at 18, but other than that not really anything more than hindsight which isn't really fair.
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post #43 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 08:48 PM
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1.) Freezing out all the women crazy enough to want to be in my life or care about somebody like me. They didn't deserve my emotional sadism. (caveat: 'the one' who didn't accept me for my social anxiety, even after being there for one of my panic attacks, causing me to spiral into self-destruction. And she had the nerve to act like I did something.)
2.) Not preparing for a career while still in school
3.) The accident
4.) The whole becoming homeless incident
5.) Having my identity stolen

Those really are my only regrets, #1 is probably the biggest. Getting hacked is an honorable mention....really good topic.
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post #44 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-09-2020, 02:25 AM
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I don't want to think too much about it, but I think my bad decisions have shaped me and allowed me to grow in ways I may not have otherwise.
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post #45 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-09-2020, 04:49 AM
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1. Leaving school early

2. Not interacting properly with people my age in my late teens, early 20's, formative years, avoiding old friends, potential girlfriends.

3. Not being nicer to my father when he was ill.

4. Not getting proper mental health support from family or professionals from a young age.

5. Still being alive.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #46 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-09-2020, 11:16 AM
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I dont have regrets, but i feel bad for things that arent not nice looking and leave you kinda ugly looking.

I just want things to be normal
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post #47 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 02:39 AM
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I have surely missed out alot due to SA just like others here but I have learnt to accept. So don't like to keep too many things to heart and feel bad about them. Although one thing that bothers me is if I had opened up to my childhood crush, things could have been different.
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post #48 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-16-2020, 10:36 PM
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In the year 2000, I slept with a woman a few times and the sex was amazing, she was in love with me and i left her cause she was acting crazy, little did i know that was the last human contact i would have for a looong time.

Not writing although i was the best writer in every school and college I attended, not pursuing it when everyone told me to.

Smoking tons of weed and alcohol from age 17-20 which probably gave me somewhat permanent anxiety.

Not hitting on a few SMOKING hot girls who talked to me after Yankees games i went to last year or 2. (too shy)

Not meeting the love of my life's kids, which she said was the main reason she broke it off with me (too scared)

Not standing up to bullies in junior high school/high school.
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post #49 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-17-2020, 07:05 PM
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Credit cards and torched credit...but that can be fixed at some point. Honestly, I've probably been more messed up by crap that was not under my control. I'm also looking forward to my 30s and can't wait to end my 20s though (2 more years to go). So, past regrets don't mean much to me.
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post #50 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-21-2020, 11:33 AM
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part of me wonders if I should have stuck up for myself and said to hell with the consequences. those potential consequences are what kept me in a place of cowardice and fear. I have no idea the sort of hell I might have been put through had I decided to start defending myself against bullies and backstabbers. it was just such a messed up situation that was largely out of my control once so many people got involved that I have no idea how it would have played out. I still carry a lot of hate towards those people from 25-30 years ago, maybe I would have had a better time dealing with that had I just taken a risk.

there are a few other things I have thought about as well.

moving out of home earlier. I dunno if there was any way I could have done this? it costs ****ing loads to live single in a bigger town/city where everyone wants to live and there is more opportunity. I could have possibly tried to get in at the college in that city and then convinced my dad to move to that town rather than the oap village I spent all of my most "fun" days of my life. like there was times in my youth from 18 onwards where I wanted to go out into the city and have fun but I was stuck in a crappy village and didn't know anyone who felt the same way. I might have been able to move out of my dads at a young age if I could have held down a job but my mental health ****ed me over for every job I had. now I just feel too old for everything and like i've missed the boat.

If there was some way I could have got myself into making electronic music at an earlier age. I think I probably would have had a bit of a headstart on making music. but then, I didn't even know there was music the type of which I listened to later in life that I would even enjoy... when your interests are very niche it's difficult to even find out what you like. how would I have even found out about it? I guess a start could have been buying a sampler and an amiga or something instead of an electric guitar when I was 12. that was probably the wrong choice but then I liked nirvana more than the prodigy... the thing is, I had no idea the depths of music that a particular genre has! this was the early 90s, there was no internet you just had to know someone or be in the right place at the right time. I didn't even know what I was looking for.

one thing I do regret is not working out at an earlier age. I actually wanted to start working out at about 15 but I had no idea what I was doing and I didn't actually find out until years later when I could research it on the internet. I was too scared to ask a person in a gym, too scared of being a member of a gym, too socially anxious to use a library and too socially anxious to meet friends who could help.

I like donuts
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post #51 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-21-2020, 12:52 PM
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post #52 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-21-2020, 09:40 PM
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part of me wonders if I should have stuck up for myself and said to hell with the consequences. those potential consequences are what kept me in a place of cowardice and fear. I have no idea the sort of hell I might have been put through had I decided to start defending myself against bullies and backstabbers. it was just such a messed up situation that was largely out of my control once so many people got involved that I have no idea how it would have played out. I still carry a lot of hate towards those people from 25-30 years ago, maybe I would have had a better time dealing with that had I just taken a risk.

If there was some way I could have got myself into making electronic music at an earlier age.

one thing I do regret is not working out at an earlier age. I actually wanted to start working out at about 15 but I had no idea what I was doing and I didn't actually find out until years later when I could research it on the internet. I was too scared to ask a person in a gym, too scared of being a member of a gym, too socially anxious to use a library and too socially anxious to meet friends who could help.
With bullies and backstabbers, one thing i noticed is that if you even made one single friend, you were generally left alone by the masses. If you made a friend who exuded toughness or was strong in some way, EVERYONE left you alone. That fact is what made me lose faith in humanity at such a young age. If you are alone and an outcast, literally EVERYONE will pile on and mess with you. If you are a loser and you see everyone else piling onto someone, why would you go against the current and stand up for that person? I don't believe in friendship, all friendship REALLY is is networking, if I have this friend I can then expand my situation to get this or that out of it. In adulthood, nothing really changes, people are just as big snakes as when they were kids, they just do it in more subtle ways.

Making electronic music, I dunno, remember, you and millions of other kids wanted to make it big in music, so it would have been a long shot and also taken thousands of hours of dedication.

Working out, I did for a year or 2 at age 20, all that is is basically a drug, you get a high from doing sets, bench pressing, but lifting weights made me kinda angry. I would just run and do cardio, every muscle bound guy you see looks angry, you know. You can always just do pushups and situps and run without a gym membership
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post #53 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-21-2020, 09:51 PM
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Nothing...YOLO

But really, uh...completely disappearing from some friends I had 8 years ago. With no explanation whatsoever.
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post #54 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-21-2020, 09:55 PM
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1. Going to the high school I went to. Though I didn't have much say in that as my parents forced me.
2. Picking the wrong major.
3. Not dancing with that girl at a summer camp party.
4. Not ever meeting a girl I had an internet friendship with. I even drove to meet her at a place midway between us but her car broke down, and instead of driving a little further, I bailed.
5. Not calling my friend on his 40th Birthday. He killed himself either then or shortly after. Maybe it would have made a difference.
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post #55 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-21-2020, 10:11 PM
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Oddly enough, every regret I've ever had could have been prevented by abortion.
Pretty much the same still.

But I still think it's not a fair question.

How can you regret things that started 9 months before you existed?
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post #56 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-22-2020, 02:16 AM
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With bullies and backstabbers, one thing i noticed is that if you even made one single friend, you were generally left alone by the masses. If you made a friend who exuded toughness or was strong in some way, EVERYONE left you alone. That fact is what made me lose faith in humanity at such a young age. If you are alone and an outcast, literally EVERYONE will pile on and mess with you. If you are a loser and you see everyone else piling onto someone, why would you go against the current and stand up for that person? I don't believe in friendship, all friendship REALLY is is networking, if I have this friend I can then expand my situation to get this or that out of it. In adulthood, nothing really changes, people are just as big snakes as when they were kids, they just do it in more subtle ways.

Making electronic music, I dunno, remember, you and millions of other kids wanted to make it big in music, so it would have been a long shot and also taken thousands of hours of dedication.

Working out, I did for a year or 2 at age 20, all that is is basically a drug, you get a high from doing sets, bench pressing, but lifting weights made me kinda angry. I would just run and do cardio, every muscle bound guy you see looks angry, you know. You can always just do pushups and situps and run without a gym membership
yes I noticed this as a kid, all other kids at that teenager age are basically dicks. none of them would stick up for another person or step in but worse, a lot would join in or find it amusing. I kind of maintain the idea that pretty much all teenagers are dicks. but I think people change as they get older, they just move from being dicks to being apathetic, which is still pretty bad... plenty of people stay as bullies though. I have seen that and heard about this in the workplace.

the thing with music is more about who you know. a lot of people that made something of themselves or atleast got themselves out there, got their music heard, they had someone mentor them or they had access to a studio which an older person had. or they were spoiled rotten as a child and given every piece of musical equipment they asked for and had a person in their lives that knew a lot about what thing does what, and knowledge on the various aspects of song writing. I believe I have some talent in some parts of the music making process and think I probably could have made some bangin tunes back then when I was really enthusiastic. it was incredibly easy to put together a rave tune back in the day, but without any guidance I would never know this. nowadays I am just very meh about it, I still like that sort of thing but that burning passion and drive to succeed and make a name for myself has largely gone.

yea that is true on working out, I just think that doing a lot of stuff like compound lifting and isolation work could have helped me out in various ways had I incorporated it into my daily life. kids are really ****ing superficial and I think they might have thought, don't mess with that kid he lifts weights. I also think it could have helped me stay more healthy and it might have given me confidence? I don't know on that last one because lifting has never made me feel like that but I might have thought about it differently at a younger age. it also just sets a positive routine in place for your life and who knows what sort of benefit that might have had? plus I would have a much better body now than starting in the last 10 years. you can gain so much muscle in the late teens and 20s. i've missed an opportunity there.
also, girls! I probably could have got a lot of ***** if I worked out lol. now I mostly don't care.

I like donuts
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post #57 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-23-2020, 11:17 PM
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yes I noticed this as a kid, all other kids at that teenager age are basically dicks. none of them would stick up for another person or step in but worse, a lot would join in or find it amusing. I kind of maintain the idea that pretty much all teenagers are dicks. but I think people change as they get older, they just move from being dicks to being apathetic, which is still pretty bad... plenty of people stay as bullies though. I have seen that and heard about this in the workplace.

the thing with music is more about who you know. a lot of people that made something of themselves or atleast got themselves out there, got their music heard, they had someone mentor them or they had access to a studio which an older person had. or they were spoiled rotten as a child and given every piece of musical equipment they asked for and had a person in their lives that knew a lot about what thing does what, and knowledge on the various aspects of song writing. I believe I have some talent in some parts of the music making process and think I probably could have made some bangin tunes back then when I was really enthusiastic. it was incredibly easy to put together a rave tune back in the day, but without any guidance I would never know this. nowadays I am just very meh about it, I still like that sort of thing but that burning passion and drive to succeed and make a name for myself has largely gone.

yea that is true on working out, I just think that doing a lot of stuff like compound lifting and isolation work could have helped me out in various ways had I incorporated it into my daily life. kids are really ****ing superficial and I think they might have thought, don't mess with that kid he lifts weights. I also think it could have helped me stay more healthy and it might have given me confidence? I don't know on that last one because lifting has never made me feel like that but I might have thought about it differently at a younger age. it also just sets a positive routine in place for your life and who knows what sort of benefit that might have had? plus I would have a much better body now than starting in the last 10 years. you can gain so much muscle in the late teens and 20s. i've missed an opportunity there.
also, girls! I probably could have got a lot of ***** if I worked out lol. now I mostly don't care.
Yea well i think most people of all ages are kind d*cks, I think teenagers are fearless and basically insane, where they have no fear of death or ever think about consequences, so that is why they are unpredictable. If I see a gang of thugs in their 20's or a gang of thug teenagers, I would avoid the teenagers first. The high schools around where I live, i make sure to always have my headphones on because even at my age, teenagers are the most likely to make wise-a** comments in the streets. i think when people reach their 20's, they generally appreciate life for or have some basic maturity about life to not act like as big morons. This doesn't mean i would like or trust pretty much anyone in their 20's or 30's anyway but whatever.

I dunno, with making it big in any industry a lot of luck is involved, but you don't need to necessarily have connections. Madonna asked to be dropped off in Times Square with a few hundred dollars as a teenager or whatever and started out in tiny clubs. Jay-Z wanted to be a drug dealer and his first album was just for the hell of it, he had no intention of being a rapper. Guns and Roses were selling beers out of the back of their van or whatever and getting random drug addicts to show up at their tiny shows, they ended up releasing their first album and it STILL didn't sell so they just kept promoting it and eventually it took off. Nirvana came out with their first album or 2 which cost no money and they were terrible, then finally Nevermind came out and it got a ton of play on MTV so it took off. So a lot is luck, connections might get you in the door but that is a small factor. I don't even think making it big as a musician will make you happy or even making a lot of money in the long run anyway

Well working out like bench pressing with a lot of weight and less reps is a different kind of weightlifting. It makes you kinda nuts. If you are doing like 150 pounds 10 or 12 times for 4 sets, that is way different than doing like 200 pounds 3 times or 225 pounds 1 time, etc. It is like power lifting vs just a workout routine. I am not saying lifting weights makes you nuts, it is when you are maxing out and pushing your body past what it should be pushed.

When i was working out i did not have any luck with women, but i worked out for like a year or year and a half. i was with gorgeous women and wasn't working out or productive in any way at the same time. Now I am way more productive with work but my luck with women has completely run out. I am convinced at this point if I worked out and had a great body it would make zero difference anyway, but yea have not worked out in 20 years. Working out will help but I have seen plenty skinny and short guys who somehow are born leaders and are popular and get girls without being ripped so I would not think that would solve everything. I think what you say to people or women is more crucial than anything, i just am too overwhelmed to even say hello to anyone now because i know with women it gets complicated fast and problems crop up out of nowhere and i have no patience. Part of me is at the point that i would even get a hooker, but i have too much respect for women on some level to do that, but I would fantasize about it only because it is simpler than dating and all the mess you have to go through and jumping through hoops
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post #58 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-24-2020, 11:27 PM
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I still basically just wish I'd bought some real estate when I was younger. I can live with pretty much everything else.
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post #59 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-25-2020, 01:40 AM
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1- not spending more time with my sister before she passed away.
2- messing around with drugs
3- losing touch with some good friends I used to have.
4- not learning to get over my shyness when i was younger.
5- starting smoking when i was 16
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post #60 of 71 (permalink) Old 02-25-2020, 02:32 AM
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5. Not having the courage to say yes to those guys who were crazy enough to ask me out in college.
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