Wtf did i do!!!! - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-15-2018, 08:25 PM Thread Starter
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Wtf did i do!!!!


I'll try to tell this quickly, cause I know most people won't want to read a long story. Long story short, about a month ago, my friend and I and her friend all go out to a club on a Saturday night. My friend, who i've had a crush on since I met, once tried setting me up with this friend but she acted real cold and unresponsive when I met her. I later found out she was upset about some guy rejecting her or something, so the three of us hung out a few more times since then. I didn't completely hit it off with her but we seemed okay around each other, well the night we all went out she did something that completely shattered my self-confidence and has bothered me ever since. Earlier in the night there was an incident between us where she accidentally paid for a round of drinks that I meant to get. I explained to her what happened and told her I would get the next round. Though I don't think she heard or understood me cause she pulled our friend aside and apparently complained that I tried to rip her off. My friend then came back and asked about it to which I explained it was a misunderstanding with the bartender, then I paid for both their next rounds so I assumed all was fine.

Fast forward an hour later, she taps on my shoulder and shows me a message on her phone. She's "uncomfortable" around me or something, and asked if I could "just leave". This was a just an enormous kick in the testies for me. I ended up leaving an walking home after that, extremely depressed and angry too. My friend then messaged me asking where I was, apparently she didn't know what was happening, I explained it and she replied with "Sorry, she's annoying me tbh". We didn't talk about it again after that, I ended up going back to the place like an hour later, and didnt talk to the ***** who said that to me. Ever since i've been thinking about it and wondering what the **** I supposedly did. I should mention my friend did invite me to bonfire at her house that this girl was also gonna go too. She ended up cancelling cause it was raining, but naturally I just sort of forgot about it then now its starting to upset me again. Really making me angrier at this girl cause now I just honestly wanna go to her and tell her off completely. But then im scared also cuz now I feel like I am just completely repulsive to women, idk if anyone could tell me about a situation where they had a crippling rejection or whatever id appreciate it.

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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-15-2018, 09:08 PM
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More like long story long.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-15-2018, 09:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevy396 View Post
More like long story long.
Did you need to type this out and press the post button?


Anyways, OP, people suck, in general. For those of us who suffer from social anxiety, we often experience things similar to this, and because of how our brains work, we blame ourselves.

It takes a special kind of jerk to be so upset over something as simple as paying for a round of drinks for three people. And you went out of your way to make up for the misunderstanding.

You're probably not gonna stop stressing over it, because I know how the anxious brain works. But please, try and go easy on yourself. Not only that, go easy on this other girl...there are things that people do that are worth hating them for, but this isn't one of them. This other girl means nothing to you. F*** her.

They say it doesn't hurt.

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-15-2018, 11:36 PM
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First off; You done nothing wrong.

If your female friend also said that the other girl was annoying her then you know you are not at fault.

You said she was upset with another guy? Well that is why she was in a foul mood and unfortunately it looks like she took it out on you. This happens in life. People are in a bad mood for whatever reason and then they take it out on some poor soul. You not getting the first round was a tiny trigger that pushed her over the edge. Let it go and don't beat yourself up over it. She's at fault, not you.

I'll tell you about something I experienced about a month ago:

I went to a restaurant with my brother and later some of his friends joined him, including two of his female friends. I got comfortable with the one woman and started chatting to her. A little later the women ordered some cocktails and I asked if I could taste them because I didn't recognise them. I had a sip of both and commented that the other woman's cocktail had an odd taste. Later that evening this woman suddenly said that I am nasty and asked why am I giving her sh*t? Aside from commenting on their cocktails hours earlier, I barely spoke to her, I was mostly speaking to her friend but she still went off at me. Is saying someone's drink tastes odd really worth getting upset over? No, it isn't. My only guess is something was irritating her and my innocent comment made me a target for her to vent.

Don't beat yourself up.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 04:21 AM
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Its no big deal. Just let it go.
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 05:20 AM
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I think you deserve an apology from that person if it's left you feeling like this.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 05:25 AM
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Did you need to type this out and press the post button?
Apparently, I did. You got a problem with it?
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 06:03 AM
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Drinks are supposed to make them friendlier. Maybe they need to smoke something to chill them out too. Uncool to leave you hanging like that. Also best to have a drink before heading out if they are so uptight (especially about expenses). Look online for some cheap concert tickets to treat them to and all will be well again.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 08:42 AM
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It's too bad you left. If she was uncomfortable SHE should have left, not you. Other than that, I don't see anything you did wrong. She just sounds mental.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 09:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevy396 View Post
More like long story long.
loL
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 12:39 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevy396 View Post
More like long story long.


Thanks for Trolling


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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 01:26 PM
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I have been in a similar situation to you and I'll offer you some advice. I'm going to refer to your friend (the one you have a crush on) as Girl A, and the other girl as Girl B.

Sounds like Girl B did not like you the minute she met you (I don't know why). And Girl B being upset about being rejected by another guy was just a lame excuse that she gave you. You didn't do anything wrong. Girl B was just trying to cut off from you without making a scene, because she did not want to directly confront you. Maybe the confusion with the drinks was a perfect opportunity to do that and she took advantage of that opportunity. She sounds like a self centred brat.

Don't waste any more time with Girl B. And don't find yourself in a situation where Girl A and Girl B are both present around you, or that might wreck your friendship with Girl A (its possible). Just stay friends with Girl A and maybe ask her out. Don't ever mention Girl B to Girl A. Forget that Girl B exists.

Does Girl A even know that you like her?
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 01:26 PM
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Expect many times in which certain people wont like you for no particular reason. The girl obviously has some problems. She's probably just mad at the world due to the so-called rejection that she experienced from that guy or whatever.

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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 01:51 PM
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The post wasn't even that long...
Personally I'd try to ask the girl what I did wrong in more detail but she doesn't sound like the most collaborative person in the world. Even if someone pissed me off I wouldn't ask them to just go away so bluntly. I'm not sure if it's worth pursuing that matter though, if you texted her she might not answer and even if you went to her to try and talk she might get even more upset and not give you an explanation.
Bottom line: I'd be nice to give it a try and understand what happened, but the easiest solution would probably to just shrug it off.
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