why does everyone hate me? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 84 (permalink) Old 05-06-2011, 06:00 AM
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Wait a sec.. has anybody actually said they hate you?? Just wondering, because I'm like you at times. And I know that most of it is just in my head. Nobody starts a conversation with you? Have you ever tried making the effort? I feel like that too, especially on here. I view profiles on here and see people with loads of comments and stuff.. but me? nothing. But that's nothing to be sad about! Relationships are a two-way thing, you can't expect others to make the effort all the time. Cheer up, be you.

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post #22 of 84 (permalink) Old 05-06-2011, 01:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Ryanne View Post
Wait a sec.. has anybody actually said they hate you?? Just wondering, because I'm like you at times. And I know that most of it is just in my head. Nobody starts a conversation with you? Have you ever tried making the effort? I feel like that too, especially on here. I view profiles on here and see people with loads of comments and stuff.. but me? nothing. But that's nothing to be sad about! Relationships are a two-way thing, you can't expect others to make the effort all the time. Cheer up, be you.
I don't make an effort anymore because I've accepted my fate, people want nothing to do with me and I've met very few people who I'd actually want to associate myself with either. I'm just not someone who belongs around people.
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post #23 of 84 (permalink) Old 05-06-2011, 04:11 PM
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Everyone doesn't hate you, they just ignore you and don't care about you, OP.

If you are a male and don't talk to people enough, you will be ignored, and at times insulted verbally.

The only way you'll overcome your problem, OP, is if you get socially aggressive. Put yourself in social situations. Maybe even try to initiate conversation with people. Join a club, a sport, something.

Like someone else said, work on your image too. If you are too heavy, lose weight. If you are too small, try lifting weights.

It's tough for me to tell you anymore than I have, because I don't know your entire situation, or even what sex you are?
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post #24 of 84 (permalink) Old 05-06-2011, 06:55 PM
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Ryanne and Iceman are right on the money. People don't talk to you because you don't talk to them. That simple. You are over-analyzing things.
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post #25 of 84 (permalink) Old 05-06-2011, 07:05 PM
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My guess is that people without SA only want to be surrounded by happy outgoing people. Are you happy and outgoing? Well, most of us with SA are not. So we have to change ourselves because people without SA will never change themselves. They don't need to, they fit in wherever they go.
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post #26 of 84 (permalink) Old 06-26-2011, 03:09 PM
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Take it easy


Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet View Post
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.

nobody calls me, other than family members

when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes

nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom

I don't understand why I deserve this.
I totally understand you. I was like this as well for most of my years in college. But I one day just stopped caring what others thing and just live my life. I feel that if you care TOO much of what others think of you you're only bringing yourself down.

There could be many reasons perhaps people have had a hard day as well? Maybe they have problems of their own so they are not very friendly toward you.

Try to not care soo much. Just live your life do what you have to do to make yourself happy (like watching tv, going online, eating food) Good luck to you.
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post #27 of 84 (permalink) Old 06-27-2011, 05:16 AM
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Everyone doesn't hate you, they just ignore you and don't care about you, OP.

If you are a male and don't talk to people enough, you will be ignored, and at times insulted verbally.

The only way you'll overcome your problem, OP, is if you get socially aggressive. Put yourself in social situations. Maybe even try to initiate conversation with people. Join a club, a sport, something.

Like someone else said, work on your image too. If you are too heavy, lose weight. If you are too small, try lifting weights.

It's tough for me to tell you anymore than I have, because I don't know your entire situation, or even what sex you are?
^^^ This is spot-on. Basically describes my life too.
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post #28 of 84 (permalink) Old 06-27-2011, 05:20 AM
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It could possibly be your body language.

One of my life coaches told me this last week.

Who would you rather approach considering you were in a great mood and felt like talking to some one? The person not smiling looking down, or the person looking happy, smiling, energetic ext. Over 70% of communication is body language if my highschool memory serves me correct.

That could be something to think about. I certainly never thought about it. It was like a smack on the head from all the homework and studying I've done with this illness. Maybe something to consider.

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post #29 of 84 (permalink) Old 06-27-2011, 05:23 AM
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I need to start looking at the original dates of these threads...

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post #30 of 84 (permalink) Old 06-27-2011, 10:01 AM
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Unfortunately you haven't disclosed your gender; my advice differs depending on whether you're male or female.

If you're male then people don't like you because you're not "cool" enough; if you're female it's because you're not physically attractive enough.

To be cool, you have to do the following:
- Magically cure yourself of SA.
- Develop an arrogant swagger when you walk.
- Call everyone "dude".
- When a group of girls are *****ing about someone, join in--they love that.
- Incorporate as much slang into your vocabulary as possible.
- Talk enthusiastically about popular culture; films, music, etc. And do so with an overly animated face and preferably a Welsh accent.
- Generally be a complete *******.


Many people on this site seem a bit naive. The fact is, people (girls especially*) are attracted to "coolness" and more generally social status. Shy men are considered losers in our society (unless they somehow get rich). For the average person, continually striving to out-"cool" each other is practically their hobby. If your hobby is something academic instead, then you'll have to wait until you're rich before people respect you.

*most girls are incredibly sensitive to notions of "geekiness" and are actually repulsed by it.


After writing that, I realise this advice (it's actually a rant disguised as advice) assumes that you're roughly the same age as me (22). My "advice" might be different otherwise.


Hope this helps.
Ehh, I disagree. I know I guy who is very shy and also very goodlooking and has no problem with the ladies. Also, as a girl being physically attractive and having SA will not score you points with other women. As a good looking girl I can say that I always get a better response from men. I get a great response from women when I am friendly and outgoing but if I'm shy or not talkative they will either use it against me or be intimidated by me and think that I am some kind of snob. Most women are too insecure to want to be friends with someone who is very physically attractive but does not give them constant positive feedback about themselves.I think for a lot women the ideal "girl-friend" is someone who is not a threat to them lookswise and totally friendly and positive.
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post #31 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2011, 02:50 PM
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same problem


I have the same problem. Though I do have really good friends. Except sometimes I don't really feel like I belong and sometimes I try to kill myself by not breathing. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel depressed and unfullfilled my whole life. I think its because the world is wronng. People dying all the time, people being born into very wealthy families and not have to work for a living. People born into poor familes and work just to survive I think the ecologocial system is wrong. I get very sad. Sometimes I just retreat into a fantasy world in my head to escape the pains of reality. I don't even live in the real world most of the time. So your not alone on this. What I do is I go into my fantasy world more than the real world it works for me.
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post #32 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2011, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by thatswet View Post
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.

nobody calls me, other than family members

when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes

nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom

I don't understand why I deserve this.


OP...don't worry....you're not alone. I feel the exact same way. Have my whole life really. Not even my family members call me....neither my immediate or extended family are close. I seldom get compliments too. When I enter MSN...seems like more than half my friend list goes offline simultaneously when I enter, almost like it's on purpose or something.

You don't deserve this. Look at all the people on SAS who have had the same experience. We all can't be horrible, repulsive people to have this happen....and neither are you! Some people are just lucky enough to have friends come by them easily and know how to maintain friendships well. We have to work a little harder but it's not impossible. Hang in there...you'll have your day....just try to get out there and socialize more....try a recreational class or club...it's helping me a bit....even though no one calls or texts me still.

You can rant and rave all you want but a negative attitude gets you nowhere.
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post #33 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2011, 03:46 PM
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lol. cheers to digging up a 4 year old thread.
i hope the OP found people who love him.
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post #34 of 84 (permalink) Old 10-23-2011, 10:35 AM
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idk what i do wrong i try so hard to become someone thats liked and i dont me being fake i just wanna have some close friends. i get used so much cause i put so much effort to be a good friend. i call people i buy things i do favors. then i get shot down. no one calls me ever or ever wants to hang out. and when i think i have someone they stab me in the back. idk but im so sick of it and idk what to do i drink way to much now cause thats the only thing that makes me feel like im living, i no thats bad but idk what to do i have so many things going aginst me all the time, i never have a break even flow of things happen, idk but i just wanna go away its like i dont have a place in peoples lives anyway
The same thing happens to me. People like me on very superficial level. But that's it, I like to make friends with the people I know, and I leave the door open, sometimes I even suggest to do something together and they always say sure, but I don't get invited to their gatherings, unless is work related and is mandatory that everyone need to be there. I don't have family either, so I'm all alone, I feel like I need to go away but where, and would i be better off if I go?
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post #35 of 84 (permalink) Old 12-03-2011, 02:56 PM
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I am in the same boat as all of you who say they have accepted their lonesomeness. Thos e of you sayin' 'just be yourself' or 'try to change' don't understand what we are going through. This world is cruel and the majority of people in it don't give a flying **** about us. The only option we have is to stick together. If any of you need a new friend or someone to talk to about things send me a message. You are not alone. -kevin
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post #36 of 84 (permalink) Old 12-04-2011, 03:28 PM
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At least you have family


Hey, know what you are going through, but I go through with it in my family as well.

Your quote, "I don't understand why I deserve this", and any like these should always be more positive though, like, "I wonder where I can find people like me, that can accept me for who I am". When you ask questions the wrong way, it can never be answered since you are confusing your mind. You, like anyone else, has the ability to solve problems on your own, by asking effective questions. Hope you figure it out. I can say this because I've been there. But don't let anyone make you feel down. The only person that can let you down is yourself, since you are the only one who can love yourself. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for ya.

Last edited by jaykay; 12-04-2011 at 03:32 PM. Reason: Change of opinion
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post #37 of 84 (permalink) Old 01-04-2012, 01:00 PM
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I feel the same


I feel the same, I never get asked to do anything I feel like I am a burden to everyone.
I just to express my lonesomeness on things like twitter, people who I call 'friends' see and they see but they just say I have to include myself and not all things come to you you have to go to them. I know people haven't written on this forum for a while I just found it .
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post #38 of 84 (permalink) Old 01-04-2012, 01:55 PM
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This thread is over 4 years old. I doubt the original poster is here anymore.

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post #39 of 84 (permalink) Old 01-04-2012, 01:59 PM
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I think people see me as a snob, because I don't go around running my mouth like they do. Also, when they find out I am a college graduated esp with the working class crowd around here makes it worse.

troll: man, we got a lot of snow
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troll: three feet, man!
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troll: no school, man, it was sweet
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troll: you like excessive punctuation, don't you?
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post #40 of 84 (permalink) Old 01-05-2012, 05:33 PM
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You are not alone SAS brother, I too experience many of the subjects you speak of. It seems that many ppl with SA tend to be selfless, intelligent, and more concerned with internal focus. Some1 correct me but I believe the world is dominated by extraverts. As some1 stated earlier, as introverts, our "cool-factor" is absent in the eyes of superficial ppl. The best advice I can offer is to love yourself and be totally content with who you are but continue to work on improving your flaws. Don't be too hard on yourself, No one hates you! The world needs more ppl like the ones found here.
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