It's really sad how people look down on you if you tell them that you don't have close friends, like, is that really so pathetic?
One time, I was talking with my coworkers, and all of them had their own close circle of friends except me, right? So they were talking about all the adventures they went on, and I kinda blurted out, "Oh, I don't really have any friends so it's not like I get to go out of town that often". And people just looked at me really weird, they all had this really uncomfortable look on their face.
If I was in a calmer state of mind, I probably wouldn't have revealed that tidbit about myself to them. But I just got so stressed out, like I couldn't hold in my frustration, shame, and embarrassment anymore because the way they were talking about their friends was making me extremely jealous. From looking at their responses, I could tell that I was not compatible with these people, that we would only ever be work acquaintances at best.
I feel really worthless during moments like this, though. I keep thinking that having a circle of close friends requires you to have worth of some kind, and that if you don't have worth then you won't be able to land these awesome friendships. Trying to raise my self-esteem has been more or less fruitless as of late, because I just don't believe it when I tell myself "I'm awesome" or "People do like you". They sound like empty platitudes.
Anyway, that's the sort of impression that most "normal" people have towards those with few/no friends. It's a little degrading, and it really damages my self-esteem sometimes.