Why do people stare? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 02:45 AM Thread Starter
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Why do people stare?


I have social anxiety and I find people stare at me a lot, even when I'm just minding my own business. I'm 21 and I usually find people my own age doing this, teenagers do it, kids do it. People have no manners and I feel like I have to teach them myself by giving them dirty looks but this just makes them stare even more as if they are saying "Why did he look at me like that?"

Does anyone else get this? I usually stand up for myself when people stare but it doesn't really make a difference. People just continue to stare like its normal.
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 02:53 AM
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People just stare... I do it also sometimes. Go to SE asia. Wow they stare a lot. No manners at all. They can sit face to face staring at you. They keep staring even you say hi to them...
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 03:00 AM Thread Starter
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I always think if someone has the guts to stare at you long enough, they should just speak to you and tell you what their problem is.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 03:03 AM
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Originally Posted by krutq View Post
People just stare... I do it also sometimes. Go to SE asia. Wow they stare a lot. No manners at all. They can sit face to face staring at you. They keep staring even you say hi to them...
That is so true.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 03:18 AM
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<<<Sorry, edited post because i want to get off this forum thanks, LONDN>>>
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 03:24 AM
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People stare because it's normal and some may just be interested in you for whatever reason. No point in getting all worked up and firing dirty looks. If you really find someone staring for so long then why not muster up the courage to smile or wave at them. See what actually happens, you may be pleasantly surprised. NOTHING TO LOSE right?


I don't think the issue is rudeness of people. We're not living in the olden times anymore where it's rude to look at someone. The real issue is being comfortable in your own skin and to get to the point where if you suddenly become the center of attention, to not be phased by this. I definitely need to work on this but i see the first step to achieving this is to not get wound up by other people's behaviour as deep down, they may just think that the person they were looking at intrigues them and you never know, you could be friends somewhere down the line if one of you made the effort or if you bumped into each other again in different circumstances.
I second that!

I also have to work on it.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 04:19 AM
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Yeah people seem to stare at me alot too and I feel like it is because I'm hideous. It sucks hella bad because the moment someone lays eyes on me I feel as if they are judging all of my flaws
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 06:56 AM
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This happens to me. One time i was in the library and there was this guy sitting alone and in a table next to mine and soon after a few of his friends male/females got there they started talking and then they all turned around and looked at me with a smile. Why was that? I couldn't figure it out and I was just so uncomfortable. I hate when people stare or even look at me. another reason why I avoid most human interaction and seem to only go out after 2 am.
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 07:14 AM
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Maybe you just think they stare at you. Most people won't look at you unless you did something that caught their attention.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 07:15 AM
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I think I often look tense and scared -I also have a bad habit of watching people just to see if they're watching me -which of course just naturally makes them stare right back. Since I've become aware of it,I do it a lot less and,big surprise,don't notice anyone staring much anymore.

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 07:58 AM
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It depends on the context of the stare it can mean entirely different things.
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 08:09 AM
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It could be just plain curiosity. Maybe sinister judgement. Or... your paranoia speaking.
Don't think too much into it. Compare it to yourself; you probably forget the person you observed right away.
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 09:15 AM
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Some people stare because they have nothing else to look at. Others do it because they're interested in the person's looks or personality. I find staring rude.

Be yourself, because everyone else is taken.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 09:21 AM
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I remember that in middle school, other classmates stared at me on purpose because they knew I would react weird and that it was making me uncomfortable. They just stared and laughed sometimes.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 09:22 AM
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i find that people stare at me too but i know why, its basically because my face hasn't formed properly, i have a really weak chin and i look like i have learning difficulties so its obvious why people stare.
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 09:35 AM
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I remember trying to go to church here once. I don't what the hell I was thinking at the time. I went to the bible study also, and this dude just kept on looking at me the entire time.I wanted to break his face after about 10 minutes of his staring.
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 09:43 AM
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I feel that people stare at me alot because something is wrong with me, I know I look chimeric in age/body structure and it shows so I know exactly why some of them stare.
I know that due to a spinal/hip deformity/chimeric aging issue I do the model walk/hip sway as my default walk which unfortunately attracts attention.
I realize my eyes color shift all the time as well, I realize many things that classify me as a "freak" cause them to stare.

It doesn't help/decrease how much it makes me feel like a freak of nature and a monster, but at least I know why they stare.

Of all the things I have seen, the realization that the grim reaper laughs at me has been my greatest motivation to succeed.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 10:18 AM
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I used to think when I saw someone looking at me that there must be something wrong with the way I looked. Now I know that people just look at each other. I didn't used to look at people so I didn't understand why other people did it, because I just tried to keep my head down and not make any eye contact with strangers. I assumed that was normal, polite even. Since then, I've moved to a larger city and I catch myself also just looking at other people, because people can be interesting to look at and watch, and it's not really a big deal in the city (there's too many people not to look at some of them). Like on the bus or something. If I catch somebody looking at me on the bus, I try just to look back at them and it almost always makes them break their eye contact.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 10:42 AM
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People will stare at you for many different reasons. There are a lot of reasons that are in someone's mind when they are staring at you. Maybe they find you attractive, maybe they think you look familiar, maybe they just zoned out, maybe they are just judging you.... which is most of the time what people do when they stare at you. I understand that staring is rude and being a female is worst because there are a lot of guys out there who will stare at you... HARD. Just keep on doing what you are doing... which is giving htem a dirty look. Like I said, staring is rude and it bothers the other person and invades their privacy. Everyone deserves to go about their day in peace. It's just too bad and sad that there are so many people in this world who absoluttely don't give a sh*t when it comes to manners. What I sometimes do is stare back until they look away. That always works. I really don't mean to sound like a complete b*tch but being stared at is something that really irritates me.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-06-2013, 10:44 AM
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TBH cause people have eyes and a brain. People like to stare and sometimes its annoying but if you have eyes what do you do with them? Look around and take in as much as you can. Thats my personal opinion though
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