Why do people act like this around me? How do I become more approachable? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-09-2015, 05:50 AM
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I get this feeling sometimes. I don't give a **** though. It's their problem.
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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-01-2015, 06:43 AM
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Apologies for jumping in to an older thread.



This has always been a massive issue for me. I have ADHD and whether or not it plays apart I don’t know but almost instantly people gravitate away from me. The example given earlier of there alwaysbeing a ‘leader’ type in a group was a good one – I am the “anti leader”. When meeting people for the first time I canalways observe their ‘uncomfortableness’ although in fairness most of the timethey remain polite and professional.


I am never asked out on nights out, never been invited to awedding, stag night or other things like that. If I’m in a group then little ‘mini groups’ of about 3 or 4 people willform and I’m never part of it. Duringlunch breaks more of these groups of friends form without me. I try to be friendly and chatty but it nevermakes a difference. Don’t get me wrong,I have plenty of acquaintances but nobody ever allows me in closer thanthat. I have a number of work colleaguesliving near me and whenever I offer them a lift home or to work they ALWAYShave a reason to decline – usually by asking someone else for a lift. Some people are even happy to be dropped offa little bit further away from their homes than accept a lift from me.


If anyone can suggest any help or advice I’d be reallygrateful….
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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-25-2015, 10:14 AM
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its annoying. I do this as well and the more uncomfortable i see the other people get the more anxious it makes me lol. Then i start going overboard in the pretending im actually confident facade and start saying unnecessary things just to keep the convo going as the only thing worse than looking like a weirdo because you're talking a load of crap is sitting in awkward silence for me anyway. Don't have the no eye contact problem just the problem of sensing peoples uncomfortableness and sometimes boredom with what I'm saying. Like sometimes I'll glance over at someone else who I'm not directly talking to and they are pulling the deer in headlights face lol like wtf is this guy on kind of thing. Very bad
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-25-2015, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norfolkaaa View Post
If your acting awkwardly around people then it will be awkward for them aswell
This^
Really really good advice.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-18-2018, 11:46 PM
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I observe similar reactions from some people too, I'm better than average looking and I dress up like my friends with a few personal accessories that compliment my vibe. But I'm shy when it comes to thinking I'm a looker.
However, I am on the other side of the spectrum, that I feel a balance sense of well being and confidence, and I feel comfortable in my own skin. I considered myself a listener unless I opened with my own subject, than I probe others for their views, I handle most social actions depending on the conditions, environment, etc..
I do get a fair number of people that react as you describe, I have an internal locus of control, others have external locus of control. In other words, it doesn't bother me cause I control my actions, as opposes to being affected by outside interactions.
So I think there's a couple scenarios at play. As I just described, some people allow others vibes to affect their actions. And another is, even though people perfected their social masks, they may feel uncomfortable around a genuine person's vibe, and display a hidden veneer insecurity, social their ego defense makes then act superior to compensate. And lastly, I feel I put out a healthy aura that attracts damage people, cluster b personality disorders that appear charismatic but secretly despise, envy, plus a host of underlying anger that they sense I'm balance, I have a narcissistic radar that recognized wolves in sheep's clothing, and they sometimes sense my solidness, making them act weird and competitive so I practice observe but don't absorb their negative energy and disengage from them as soon as possible.
A previous poster talks about a spectra that makes sense to me. You may be putting out a positive vibe and that's affecting the negative vibe people with a fake social masks on. One last thing... we are attracted to similar IQ levels and maturity level, so you got to think about that and try to stay with in your inner circle and keep growing, study about gender psychology, work on your own personal growth, and stay focused on your mission.
Good luck.
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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 06-18-2018, 11:55 PM
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It may not be you at all it could be the other person that has the issue you seem to be interacting friendly you seem to be smart adding good inputs so I wouldn't overthink it too much leave open the possibility it's not you and it's probably the other people being weird or its their own uncomfortable vibe that you observed, just do your best to make them feel better and don't get bullied, walk away to a better environment if you want to...
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