Why do I repulse women so hard?.. - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 10:27 AM
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She wasn't interested in what you were saying and she wasn't interested in learning any of that stuff either. So she left. Its that simple. There is no secret underlying reason.

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post #22 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 10:38 AM
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OP, it sounds like you made the fatal error of being a geek. Women have an inbuilt aversion to anything technical, and are repulsed by anyone who enjoys such things -- they're not 'cool', which is all that matters really. You see, by talking about technical stuff, one gives the impression of being of low social status, and for this reason it is wise to refrain from revealing one's nerdy enthusiasms. Of course, no such restrictions apply to the musician, the artist, or the novelist; it's only us computer people who are advised not to speak of our hobbies if we wish to have any chance of wooing a b!tch.

To those telling the OP to remain true to himself, reassuring him that one day he'll find a woman who likes processor architecture as much he does, I expect you mean well, but really this generic politically correct advice is nothing more than an empty gesture of support and sympathy, not to be taken as serious advice. OP, stubbornly adhering to this fantasy view that one day fate will see you united with the nerd girl of your dreams will see you wasting many precious years alone and miserable, when instead you could make the exciting and remarkable transformation into a swaggering douche, and have all the female attention you crave and deserve.
You must be aware, on some level, that female computer techs, programmers, engineers, etc. exist right? I mean....there's no way that you seriously aren't aware of that fact, right..?

Some women like technical things. Some women like "nerdy" things. Just as some guys do and some guys don't. This is a pretty basic fact of life. If you've never heard of, or met, a woman who likes those things then I suggest getting out more. Hell, you don't even have to do that. There are communities online that relate to such interests and have female members. Get with the times, man.

The future is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Arby's.


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post #23 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 10:43 AM
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She wasn't interested in what you were saying and she wasn't interested in learning any of that stuff either. So she left. Its that simple. There is no secret underlying reason.
yep. she wasn't into what you were talking about and was bored. Doesn't mean you are boring necessarily, just that you two didn't have much in common.
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post #24 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 10:47 AM
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You must be aware, on some level, that female computer techs, programmers, engineers, etc. exist right? I mean....there's no way that you seriously aren't aware of that fact, right..?

Some women like technical things. Some women like "nerdy" things. Just as some guys do and some guys don't. This is a pretty basic fact of life. If you've never heard of, or met, a woman who likes those things then I suggest getting out more. Hell, you don't even have to do that. There are communities online that relate to such interests and have female members. Get with the times, man.
I basically agree with Oob (as usual). My responses to your rebuttal would be:

1) I frequent several of these online nerd havens that you mention in your second paragraph (covering a variety of largely-disconnected subjects with disparate user bases). The M:F ratio is typically 20:1 or higher. On computer hardware forums where people geek out over new CPU architectures and video card specs, I feel it's probably more like 50:1, at least.

2. I'm in a scientific field myself, and while there are some women, their preferences in partners don't seem very different from the average, non-technical woman. Some clearly state that they prefer to date outside the field, while others will consider it, but usually with the "least geeky" guys who see the nerdy stuff more as a job than an obsession or their #1 hobby. To be sure, there are a few women who are hardcore geeks themselves and will date men that are too, but again... it's probably like a 20 or 30:1 ratio.

So while everything you said is true in theory, the numbers -- at least in my experience -- work very, very strongly against "geeky" men.
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post #25 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 10:54 AM
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.. in the verb sense of the word
'hard' has always been and can only ever be an adjective. maybe this is part of your problem.

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post #26 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 10:55 AM
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You must be aware, on some level, that female computer techs, programmers, engineers, etc. exist right? I mean....there's no way that you seriously aren't aware of that fact, right..?

Some women like technical things. Some women like "nerdy" things. Just as some guys do and some guys don't. This is a pretty basic fact of life. If you've never heard of, or met, a woman who likes those things then I suggest getting out more. Hell, you don't even have to do that. There are communities online that relate to such interests and have female members. Get with the times, man.
They exist yes, but they are extremely rare; certainly there aren't enough to go around. Of the people who shared my computer science course, perhaps as much as 5% were female, and most of them were Asian. There is a huge demand for nerdy girls, but the supply is very limited.

Most nerds are only able to get girlfriends by hiding their interests, or at least not talking about them openly; in most situations it's considered socially inappropriate to do so. If I were to talk about my interests with the same passion, and in the same amount of detail, as a writer, a musician, or an artist might talk about his, people would suspect me of having Asperger's. It's just not something you do if you want to be liked and respected. Most of the nerdy men I know who've managed to get girlfriends have done so only by closely observing this unwritten social rule.
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post #27 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:02 AM
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She wasn't interested in what you were saying and she wasn't interested in learning any of that stuff either. So she left. Its that simple. There is no secret underlying reason.
I think this was the reason, too. It's uncomfortable for a lot of people to be in a conversation they can't participate in due to lack of interest or knowledge. Granted, technology isn't everyone's thing, either, and it's for these reasons that I don't go into detail about how I spent my weekend listening to some old fart talk about the Internet during the days I was still in diapers.

I also think we're a lot more than hobbies, though. We may be interested in them because we like to analyze, because we like to theorize, or because we like fiction, and that's an easier if less specific kind of common ground.
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post #28 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:03 AM
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They exist yes, but they are extremely rare; certainly there aren't enough to go around. Of the people who shared my computer science course, perhaps as much as 5% were female, and most of them were Asian. There is a huge demand for nerdy girls, but the supply is very limited.

Most nerds are only able to get girlfriends by hiding their interests, or at least not talking about them openly; in most situations it's considered socially inappropriate to do so. If I were to talk about my interests with the same passion, and in the same amount of detail, as a writer, a musician, or an artist might talk about his, people would suspect me of having Asperger's. It's just not something you do if you want to be liked and respected. Most of the nerdy men I know who've managed to get girlfriends have done so only by closely observing this unwritten social rule.
Really? I've never seen a nerdy guy with any woman before... 33 years & I have never even had any female friends before... It's not just that, they all hate me profusely...

These nerdy people that you speak of must be well off...
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post #29 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:13 AM
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They exist yes, but they are extremely rare; certainly there aren't enough to go around. Of the people who shared my computer science course, perhaps as much as 5% were female, and most of them were Asian. There is a huge demand for nerdy girls, but the supply is very limited.

Most nerds are only able to get girlfriends by hiding their interests, or at least not talking about them openly; in most situations it's considered socially inappropriate to do so. If I were to talk about my interests with the same passion, and in the same amount of detail, as a writer, a musician, or an artist might talk about his, people would suspect me of having Asperger's. It's just not something you do if you want to be liked and respected. Most of the nerdy men I know who've managed to get girlfriends have done so only by closely observing this unwritten social rule.
The first computer programmer was a woman.

They are not as rare as you and anomalas want to believe. If a geeky male is struggling to find a partner, I'm sorry, but I don't think that being a geek has much to do with it. I know many, many women who enjoy geeky interests, and I know of several forums that are pretty much made up entirely of women with nerdy interests. Your personal experience has clearly been different than mine. So how can you claim that yours is correct and mine is false? The fact that you are not finding those women still does not mean that they don't exist, or that they are rare. It also does not mean that they prefer non-geeky partners, as there are many men with geeky interests who find partners without having to hide who they are. If you've ever been to any sort of fandom event, such as a convention, you would see that there are many couples there who share the same interests.

I think rather than clinging to untrue stereotypes, it would be of greater benefit to examine other possible internal road blocks that are preventing you from interacting successfully with the opposite sex. Referring to women as "*****es" in your initial post is a pretty big indicator that you might want to reexamine some of your world views. Most human beings want to be respected and treated as individuals. This goes for both sexes.

The future is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Arby's.


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post #30 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:20 AM
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The first computer programmer was a woman.

They are not as rare as you and anomalas want to believe. If a geeky male is struggling to find a partner, I'm sorry, but I don't think that being a geek has much to do with it. I know many, many women who enjoy geeky interests, and I know of several forums that are pretty much made up entirely of women with nerdy interests. Your personal experience has clearly been different than mine. So how can you claim that yours is correct and mine is false? The fact that you are not finding those women still does not mean that they don't exist, or that they are rare. It also does not mean that they prefer non-geeky partners, as there are many men with geeky interests who find partners without having to hide who they are. If you've ever been to any sort of fandom event, such as a convention, you would see that there are many couples there who share the same interests.

I think rather than clinging to untrue stereotypes, it would be of greater benefit to examine other possible internal road blocks that are preventing you from interacting successfully with the opposite sex. Referring to women as "*****es" in your initial post is a pretty big indicator that you might want to reexamine some of your world views. Most human beings want to be respected and treated as individuals. This goes for both sexes.
Oh come on... most of these girls are far too pretty to be genuine geeks & only really play videos games because A) it's just another way for them to socialize & B) gaming is fashionable now

Males have a genuine passion for technology whereas women only show interest when it's a job opportunity
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post #31 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:33 AM
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...
They are not as rare as you and anomalas want to believe.
...
They where are they? Why weren't they on my computer science course? Why weren't they in my physics class? Why aren't they on any of the technical forums I visit?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt you are involved in any of the 'nerdy' communities that you claim women make up a significant part of; you just assume that such communities exist, and that neither I nor Anomalous have discovered them. So, where are they? It is so typical of women to deny these things, and to shift the blame onto the men affected. It is equivalent to me saying, to an audience of fat, facially deformed women, "There are tons of men who don't care about looks, you just haven't searched hard enough! How dare you say otherwise!". Instead, I acknowledge and understand their complaints, and the sadness it causes them; I feel some degree of shame on behalf of all men, and I offer my sympathies to the women affected. Why can't women be as understanding?
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post #32 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:34 AM
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I don't mean anything bad & I don't mean to stereotype here, but these supermodel women that you see on gaming shows\Youtube vids that call themselves geeks, they're not real geeks, they'd never be caught dead talking to real geeks in the real world, they'd laugh at real geeks out on the streets. Same goes for these model looking male 'geeks' too.

It's just fashionable to term yourself a geek nowadays.
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post #33 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:35 AM
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The first computer programmer was a woman.

They are not as rare as you and anomalas want to believe. If a geeky male is struggling to find a partner, I'm sorry, but I don't think that being a geek has much to do with it. I know many, many women who enjoy geeky interests, and I know of several forums that are pretty much made up entirely of women with nerdy interests. Your personal experience has clearly been different than mine. So how can you claim that yours is correct and mine is false? The fact that you are not finding those women still does not mean that they don't exist, or that they are rare. It also does not mean that they prefer non-geeky partners, as there are many men with geeky interests who find partners without having to hide who they are. If you've ever been to any sort of fandom event, such as a convention, you would see that there are many couples there who share the same interests.

I think rather than clinging to untrue stereotypes, it would be of greater benefit to examine other possible internal road blocks that are preventing you from interacting successfully with the opposite sex. Referring to women as "*****es" in your initial post is a pretty big indicator that you might want to reexamine some of your world views. Most human beings want to be respected and treated as individuals. This goes for both sexes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_computing
With less than 12% women in computer science I don't think an interest in computer parts will get you very far with girls. You need to develop other hobbies.
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post #34 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:57 AM
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I think you're right that the language was too technical and not a conversation the average person could contribute to. There are definitely female engineers and computer nerds but not every woman is one. I'm sure your intentions are good but its a bit rude to get very technical about a subject the other person is not interested in and can't contribute to. I don't hide the fact that I'm into opera but I also don't discuss the intricacies of Bellini and Faure with someone who's not into it. There are other things to chat about.
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post #35 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 12:04 PM
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I'm incompatible with girls.. I've researched this problem and it turns out that women love most of the things I hate and vice versa.. no wonder they don't like me..
I think you've answered your own question here. There are nerdy girls out there (trust me, I'm one of them) that will be into at least some of the things that you're into.
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post #36 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 12:06 PM
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OP, it sounds like you made the fatal error of being a geek. Women have an inbuilt aversion to anything technical, and are repulsed by anyone who enjoys such things -- they're not 'cool', which is all that matters really. You see, by talking about technical stuff, one gives the impression of being of low social status, and for this reason it is wise to refrain from revealing one's nerdy enthusiasms. Of course, no such restrictions apply to the musician, the artist, or the novelist; it's only us computer people who are advised not to speak of our hobbies if we wish to have any chance of wooing a b!tch.

To those telling the OP to remain true to himself, reassuring him that one day he'll find a woman who likes processor architecture as much he does, I expect you mean well, but really this generic politically correct advice is nothing more than an empty gesture of support and sympathy, not to be taken as serious advice. OP, stubbornly adhering to this fantasy that one day fate will see you united with the nerd girl of your dreams will see you wasting many precious years alone and miserable, when instead you could make the exciting and remarkable transformation into a swaggering douche, and have all the female attention you crave and deserve.
I wouldn't say that women have an in-built aversion to technical things and that it has to do with they way they are raised. You also don't need to be a douche. You can be nice but attract girls by having good looks and/or money.

Other than that I agree with everything you said in this thread so far.
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post #37 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 12:15 PM
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Oh come on... most of these girls are far too pretty to be genuine geeks
...so only ugly girls can be interested in geeky things? pretty and geeky is not compatible? the **** are you talking about?

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& only really play videos games because A) it's just another way for them to socialize & B) gaming is fashionable now
I play games because it's fun, same reason guys do. and I don't usually socialize in online games, because most people are dickheads.
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post #38 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 12:15 PM
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Do you mean chat on this site? I think you're taking it way too hard if so, it's a social anxiety website, people are likely to freak and bail out on a conversation. I've done it before when I've panicked. Also about what you talked to her about, it was very specific to something you're interested in, I think it would have been easier to start a conversation rather than a one sided attempt, to be more chatty eg, ask her about herself etc.
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post #39 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 12:15 PM
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I wouldn't say that women have an in-built averison to technical things and that it has to do with they way they are raised. You also don't need to be a douche. You can be nice but attract girls with good looks and/or money.

Other than that I agree with everything you said in this thread so far.
Agreed. There are good-looking women out there who like nice guys. There are good-looking women who prefer geeky guys.
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post #40 of 81 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 01:05 PM
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...so only ugly girls can be interested in geeky things? pretty and geeky is not compatible? the **** are you talking about?

I play games because it's fun, same reason guys do. and I don't usually socialize in online games, because most people are dickheads.
I'm talking reality. Pretty people are social, they go to parties etc & also exist to poke fun of the less fortunate.

Real geeks are social outcasts & see technology as an escape.

I know we're sexual beings but there is no need to stick up for them on anonymous forums.

They've no personalities either, they only get all these friends because of their looks. They're into nothing. They only exist to annoy people. They're the reason I don't go out the door.
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