Why can't I think of anything to say? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2014, 09:43 PM
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Why can't I shut up?
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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2014, 11:22 PM
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Im happy you made this thread, because this my biggest problem with SA. At first, I didn't have social anxiety but I was socially awkward. My friends would always tell me that what I said was so stupid and humiliating. It continuously happened so I just became afraid to talk to anyone so whenever I am introduced into a conversation. I just end up letting them talk and i try to come up with something to say in response. But nothing ever comes out of my mouth except "oh yeah" "cool" "oh" and stuff like that. I'm just always so worried that people will judge me again like they did before.

When I went to therapy my therapist said to use a lot of open ended questions in conversations. Not yes or no questions but ones that will lead the other person to lead you into the conversation too. It helps a little bit but I still feel uncomfortable when talking to people. I still feel like I will mess up.
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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 10:42 PM
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I can’t think of anything to say, ever. Doesn’t matter who I am with, family, “friends” or acquaintances, or just anyone in this world. Not being able to communicate just ruins, affects, complicates, everything that I go through. Days are going by with regrets, with jealousy, with sadness, with confusion. Not being able to have healthy relationships with anyone even your own family. I Just want at least one person who understands me. I feel so lonely. Am I alone? Does anyone feel like this? Why am I like this? Why can’t I just talk?

Even while writing this I can’t gather my thoughts.
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregorio View Post
I can’t think of anything to say, ever. Doesn’t matter who I am with, family, “friends” or acquaintances, or just anyone in this world. Not being able to communicate just ruins, affects, complicates, everything that I go through. Days are going by with regrets, with jealousy, with sadness, with confusion. Not being able to have healthy relationships with anyone even your own family. I Just want at least one person who understands me. I feel so lonely. Am I alone? Does anyone feel like this? Why am I like this? Why can’t I just talk?

Even while writing this I can’t gather my thoughts.
You're definitely not alone - I gurantee a lot of people on here have the same problem. It's anxiety - pretty hard to get your thoughts together or think of something good to say if your anxious.
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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-29-2019, 02:41 AM
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maybe you just dont actually want to say anything.

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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 01:06 PM
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For me it's a mixture of brain fog from anxiety and being interested in things that others aren't or having a perspective different from most people. I'm also aware that if I try to say things I might not be able to get the words out so... yeah, I say very little in real life if it's not to my close family.
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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 05:10 PM
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It's simple, you lack the experience. Your brain is like a machine learning algorithm. Your brain analyzes thousands of conversations and learns from them. Whenever a similar pattern arises your brain already knows what to do without much thinking.
Most of us here have missed out on thousands of conversations, so when something comes up, our brain is blank and it freaks out and overthinks.

I used to be exactly like this (and still am), but I have improved a lot. What has helped me improve a lot is just having someone to talk to on a regular basis. That is the biggest obstacle that we need to climb to improve our social skills and get rid of some of the fear of holding a conversation. We need someone (who we feel comfortable with) to talk to. Parents don't count.


Yesterday a girl I was working with saw a stack of boxes of chocolates, she said "look there are so many of them" and for a brief second I uncomfortably smiled and had nothing to say, but out of nowhere I just popped out with "I wish I could eat one." and she started laughing. A year a go I would've probably just smiled and stayed quiet, and she would have thought I was just rude.
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