who has no friends no family no job - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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who has no friends no family no job


who has no friends, no family or don't talk to your family, and no job ? The only person I talk to is my therapist once a week for 45 minutes. It feels like I'm so lonely it's actually affecting my brain physically, like I get super faded out from reality, headaches, can't focus, just want to close my eyes all the time (though I can't sleep). The weird part is I can barely feel lonely. I have been isolated so long that it doesn't affect me as a normal sensation. It's like a doctor shooting you full of lidocaine and then cutting you a bunch. You're bleeding, and you can see the injury, but you're only aware of it indirectly through the effects (blood, gash in your flesh), and not the sensation of the blade itself.

anyone else feel like this
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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 11:38 AM
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who has no friends, no family or don't talk to your family, and no job ? The only person I talk to is my therapist once a week for 45 minutes. It feels like I'm so lonely it's actually affecting my brain physically, like I get super faded out from reality, headaches, can't focus, just want to close my eyes all the time (though I can't sleep). The weird part is I can barely feel lonely. I have been isolated so long that it doesn't affect me as a normal sensation. It's like a doctor shooting you full of lidocaine and then cutting you a bunch. You're bleeding, and you can see the injury, but you're only aware of it indirectly through the effects (blood, gash in your flesh), and not the sensation of the blade itself.

anyone else feel like this
I only have one friend I see like twice a year. I pretty much cut my family off, I only talk to my oldest brother. I do have a job which, at least, keeps me busy a few hours per day.

It is also affecting me. I have become emotionless over the years. No longer enjoy anything. Basically just waiting for death to knock at my door.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 05:13 PM Thread Starter
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I only have one friend I see like twice a year. I pretty much cut my family off, I only talk to my oldest brother. I do have a job which, at least, keeps me busy a few hours per day.

It is also affecting me. I have become emotionless over the years. No longer enjoy anything. Basically just waiting for death to knock at my door.
that's too bad man. life can be rough. I will hopefully have a job soon, have done a few interviews. thanks for sharing
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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 07:10 PM
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How do you survive if you have no job or family? Welfare? Savings? Halfway house?
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 10:47 AM Thread Starter
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How do you survive if you have no job or family? Welfare? Savings? Halfway house?
i have family i just don't speak with them. i am on ssdi
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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 03:27 PM
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If you have family, you need to speak to them. What if one of them dies? Imagine the amount of regret youíd feel..

I canít imagine not being on good terms with family. Iím glad that I have a loving and supporting mother and father. Iím currently unemployed but theyíre very understanding. In fact, if it wasnít for my mom, dad, brother and sister, Iíd have nobody to talk to. I donít believe in talking to therapists and even if I did, it would be too expensive. That **** is a waste of time. If you have anxiety, either fix it yourself or accept it in your life.



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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 10:47 AM
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I have only one that I can call a friend but rarely share anything with him. I have a job but not stable and most people at my place underestimate it. I have a family but I don't want to relate to them. I isolate myself so I'm getting to lose my language ability. People looked at me like I'm a loser and weirdo. I'm really upset about it and it makes me feel worse about myself. I don't know how can survive in this society while I'm getting older and stupider. I'm hopeless. The only thing comforts me right now is to know your story and some anothers that can relate to me. I know that I'm not lonely in this trap. I hope you feel the same too. It maybe a little tiny thing sometimes we can depend on.
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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 11:37 AM
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Sounds awful. Yes, isolation does affect the mind a lot. I am staying with my parents, but have no friends, am single and unemployed. It's so empty, nothing to look forward to. I have to join a meetup or something, this isolation is really taking its toll.
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 11:40 AM
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If you have family, you need to speak to them. What if one of them dies? Imagine the amount of regret youíd feel..

I canít imagine not being on good terms with family. Iím glad that I have a loving and supporting mother and father. Iím currently unemployed but theyíre very understanding. In fact, if it wasnít for my mom, dad, brother and sister, Iíd have nobody to talk to. I donít believe in talking to therapists and even if I did, it would be too expensive. That **** is a waste of time. If you have anxiety, either fix it yourself or accept it in your life.

You can't imagine it because your parents seem to be normal.

Now imagine having a father that would come home from work completely drunk and beat the hell out of you on a regular basis? One time so bad, that you ended in hospital.

Imagine having a mother that would tell you to keep quiet and never talk about what is happening at home in school? One that would make fun of you to the point where you are nearly 100% sure, she is the reason why you developped SA in the first place.

Think this over and than you will understand why some people completely cut off their close family.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 01:00 PM
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Sounds awful. Yes, isolation does affect the mind a lot. I am staying with my parents, but have no friends, am single and unemployed. It's so empty, nothing to look forward to. I have to join a meetup or something, this isolation is really taking its toll.
Then if you're lucky , you get a job. Then you have money and it builds and builds and builds. But With being single and having no one to hang around with, you find that the money you're saving still means not much. You actually don't have very much expenses. Unless you want to go places by yourself or on holiday by yourself (ugh), the money from working doesn't buy any happiness at all. with no where to go and no one to go with, you might find it pointless even having a car even though you can afford it. Lol. At least if your job is good and the people are good, it helps a bit. Then the weekend is awful and you're happier when it's Mon to Fri. Lol

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
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This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 03:24 PM
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Then if you're lucky , you get a job. Then you have money and it builds and builds and builds. But With being single and having no one to hang around with, you find that the money you're saving still means not much. You actually don't have very much expenses. Unless you want to go places by yourself or on holiday by yourself (ugh), the money from working doesn't buy any happiness at all. with no where to go and no one to go with, you might find it pointless even having a car even though you can afford it. Lol. At least if your job is good and the people are good, it helps a bit. Then the weekend is awful and you're happier when it's Mon to Fri. Lol
Weekends when you have no social life feel pathetic. While other people are out with friends on Saturday night, if you have no friends you go shopping alone for groceries or drive around town aimlessly.
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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 03:26 PM
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You can't imagine it because your parents seem to be normal.

Now imagine having a father that would come home from work completely drunk and beat the hell out of you on a regular basis? One time so bad, that you ended in hospital.

Imagine having a mother that would tell you to keep quiet and never talk about what is happening at home in school? One that would make fun of you to the point where you are nearly 100% sure, she is the reason why you developped SA in the first place.

Think this over and than you will understand why some people completely cut off their close family.
You're parents should be ashamed of themselves. That's a terrible situation and not something I can relate to - but I'm still very sorry it happened to you.

How on earth did you manage to end up so successful? With your job and career? (I know you don't see yourself as successful - but I do. That's an incredible achievement - especially given your circumstances)

Have you ever talked to a therapist about any of this? Maybe it would be a good idea - a way of working through all the horrible things that happened to you.
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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-20-2019, 04:44 AM
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Weekends when you have no social life feel pathetic. While other people are out with friends on Saturday night, if you have no friends you go shopping alone for groceries or drive around town aimlessly.
Would you go on holiday alone? Would you even just go for a few days away somewhere or maybe even a week abroad by your own? Or would you just not go and stay at home? I feel like going on holiday alone would be so pathetic it'd be worse going by yourself

Do your parents harass you to get a job so you can then pay them lodgings? Do they or other people keep nagging you asking why haven't you got a BF yet?

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain-way vision bright and clear,
This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

___________
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down. I gotta keep on moovin!

If you can read this, you must look at my profile page. I like people who have attention to detail, and curiosity. Have a look, the lion's torso is on diplay :-p
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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 03:36 AM
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You're parents should be ashamed of themselves. That's a terrible situation and not something I can relate to - but I'm still very sorry it happened to you.

How on earth did you manage to end up so successful? With your job and career? (I know you don't see yourself as successful - but I do. That's an incredible achievement - especially given your circumstances)

Have you ever talked to a therapist about any of this? Maybe it would be a good idea - a way of working through all the horrible things that happened to you.
My mother actually thinks she did a great job raising us. I also don't think she is aware of how much damage she has done to us. She completely destroyed us mentally. Out of 4 kids, 3 struggle with SA. One is completely broken and is still living with her at 42 years.
And it is no suprise, she put him down so hard for so many years. Always telling him how stupid he is (when she can't write herself...), stating in front of relatives "that one will never get married". Sometimes even telling him straight to "kill himself".

No wonder that we have zero self confidence after so much abuse.

And I am not successful. I don't agree with that. My oldest brother is a baker. You could say he is less successful. But he has a wife and two lovely kids. He has many friends. I would say he is the only one of us who succeeded in life.

Most people who have been abused as kids will develop serious mental issues.

And I really don't think talking about this to someone will make me feel any better. What I need is to stop thinking poorly of myself day and night because at the moment I am really walking on thin ice.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 03:46 AM
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I hate being lonely but when I'm around people I just want to be left alone.
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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 05:32 AM
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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 09:30 AM
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Would you go on holiday alone? Would you even just go for a few days away somewhere or maybe even a week abroad by your own? Or would you just not go and stay at home? I feel like going on holiday alone would be so pathetic it'd be worse going by yourself

Do your parents harass you to get a job so you can then pay them lodgings? Do they or other people keep nagging you asking why haven't you got a BF yet?
No, I probably wouldn't go on a trip alone. Would you?

My parents want me to get a job, and I am actively looking (2 interviews last week). They don't straight up ask why I don't have a BF but I'm immature, socially awkward and socially anxious so it makes sense I don't have one. How about your parents, do they ask you about dating?
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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 11:34 AM
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My mother actually thinks she did a great job raising us. I also don't think she is aware of how much damage she has done to us. She completely destroyed us mentally. Out of 4 kids, 3 struggle with SA. One is completely broken and is still living with her at 42 years.
And it is no suprise, she put him down so hard for so many years. Always telling him how stupid he is (when she can't write herself...), stating in front of relatives "that one will never get married". Sometimes even telling him straight to "kill himself".

No wonder that we have zero self confidence after so much abuse.

And I am not successful. I don't agree with that. My oldest brother is a baker. You could say he is less successful. But he has a wife and two lovely kids. He has many friends. I would say he is the only one of us who succeeded in life.

Most people who have been abused as kids will develop serious mental issues.

And I really don't think talking about this to someone will make me feel any better. What I need is to stop thinking poorly of myself day and night because at the moment I am really walking on thin ice.
This is what I'm talking about. I'm sorry btw to write all this out in the open, we can change any time you like. I only continue because it might be of use to someone else.

You need to deal with this. You need to address how you feel about yourself - it's up to you how much you go into all this stuff about your mother and how she affected you.

I know you measure your success by the fact that you haven't had a girlfriend yet, and maybe a lack of people in your life. But just think for a second how strong you must appear to me - to get where you are today with all that happening to you. You speak what 4 languages? Most of us here speak one - probably quite badly. You're a pharmacist. That takes a lot of study and intelligence - and you originally were studying medicine if i remember correctly?

It would help to talk to someone - if you could find someone good. (difficult I know, I've spoken to many idiots that think they're psychiatrists) You can hopefully realise how strong you are, and learn ways to calm down a bit and talk to people (including girls) more freely.

You have a lot to build on mate - please don't give up just yet.
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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 11:54 AM
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Kind of bizarre how even the worst parents think they did a good job. My dad thinks he was generous!! What a joke!!
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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-21-2019, 12:18 PM
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Sorry your going through a rough time. Been there myself

Remember the best thing about being down is there is no where to go but up!
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