Yikes. Well, I don't think I've had it nearly as bad as all that. For me, it's not about women. It's just random strangers who decide I'm queer and deserve to be taught a lesson. I consider most humans to be dangerous, unpredictable animals and avoid them if at all possible, the same way I avoid large stray dogs. To me, the world is just one big zoo with no bars.
Well other than me being isolated and an outcast, I don't think i had it all that bad. I mean it really depends on my mood, if I feel paranoid and jumpy and panicky, then all my past bad experiences pop up in my head. But I go out to pro sports games and movies almost every night, so at least i am out there and not stuck at home. A lot of my bad experiences, I instigated or pushed people's buttons, but I was almost struck by lightning as a kid in sleepaway camp and almost OD'd on coke over 20 years ago (i have been clean since), so it could have been weird events or demons that were trying to target me. I feel like i am indestructable and nothing can kill me, and i often feel like I overstayed my welcome in every way on the planet. i never thought I would live past 18 for some reason. But a lot of people think i am gay, especially as a kid because i was very frail looking and skinny and not masculine.
Yea I totally get what you mean about "unpredictable animals" someone in some interview said, "I am not afraid of people, they are just unpredictable" which is how I feel, I don't really fear them, but also you need to be on edge. I am at the point for my entire life basically where I would just walk anywhere at any time of night carelessly, like, if something was meant to happen, it was. Physical harm is actually not a big deal, if you look at my past experiences, and then compare that to a MMA fighter (mixed martial arts) they are beating each other senseless for a living. The other thing about any kind of physical harm, is yes, it hurts a little, but your body goes numb generally. If you are shot or stabbed for example, you feel numb generally and don't feel pain. If you are like shot in the kneecap or something precise like that, that is another story, but my point is, my real enemy is emotional and psychological pain, I don't really feel physical pain
About women, I was just saying that if you look at the total population of inmates in any prison or jail, I think the great majority of inmates are locked up because of a woman, for example, fighting over a woman in a bar, jealous ex husband, a guy gets revenge on another guy for cheating with his girlfriend, etc. I wasn't trying to insult women just saying they are the main reason one way or another that men are locked up, without even meaning to, just the way it is