When there is a major change in your life... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 08:07 AM Thread Starter
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When there is a major change in your life...

How long does it take you to "get used to" a major change in your life?

I find it incredibly disorienting and "demotivating" when there are big changes (on the negative side) in the state of things in my personal life (and/or outside things that directly impact me). It takes me a long time to accept things and try to move on.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 11:16 AM
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Well, moving out on my own for the first time took a few months to adjust to. Moving to a new town was similar I guess. So generally a couple of months for things to feel normal.

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 11:22 AM
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like a year or so sometimes. depends what kind of change it is

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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 03:23 PM
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It takes me a lot longer than a few months or a year. I left my wife's house just over 3 years ago and I'm still not really used to it. Where I live affects me enormously - everything in my surroundings has a massive impact on me. Who is there, where it is - absolutely everything. I still wake up and wonder where my wife and son are. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.

When we moved from Sydney down to here it took many years too. I was so homesick for a very long time and would keep going up to see my family and friends up there. Eventually it got better though and now I think of here as home.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 02:42 AM
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It's harder when you're obstructed in whatever measures you can think of, to do to try to adjust, adapt and make things better. Especially worse if it's the same factors that are giving you these negative major changes in the first place.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 04:04 PM
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It's gonna depend on what this change involves.... it took me a month to get "used to" my first job and even then I wasn't 100% sure what I was doing for half the time.

It was constant learn, fail, repeat. Learn, fail, repeat.

ďThough I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 04:24 PM
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I'm very adaptable. Moving to the US took me maybe a few weeks to start feeling comfortable. Recently moving to a new apartment made me feel at home almost instantly. Getting a car and suddenly being able to go anywhere I want in the country within a reasonable period of time, as opposed to being stuck in one city with a bicycle, took a few days to get used to.

It is having no major changes in my life for a long time that makes me feel unsettled!
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 09:12 AM
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I adapt well. It doesn't mean it's not stressful, but when big changes await, I suddenly grow a tough exo-skeleton and power through it. I've moved a lot, sometimes every month, and moved abroad at the age of 18. Money situation was always precarious (my parents are well off but I stopped taking money from them when I finished school). There is stress in change, but also excitement. If the situation is precarious, it also feels like it changes me somewhat, polishes off boredom and complacency.

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