When people just suddenly stop talking to you... - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-24-2012, 07:43 PM
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I get disappointed, sad, and frustrated when this happens. I feel stupid too. Especially when you text someone and they don't respond at all. Not even a simple 'K'. They just completely ignore you. Makes me feel unwanted and like I annoyed them or something.
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post #22 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-24-2012, 07:46 PM
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I have had this happen to me. Of course I get mad and angry and sad. And I always think what did I do wrong? Was it something I said? "I'll text you later" "I'll call you later" And nothing... Usually for me it takes time..a long time to get over.
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post #23 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-24-2012, 10:37 PM
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You guys ever get the idea that the people who intentionally shun you may have SA as well? Try to understand where they're coming from and realize that they too have their own problems in life.
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post #24 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-24-2012, 10:40 PM
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u pierced my heart..this is what exactly hitting me every now n then..it sucks really sucks...

I have a heart 14 years old!!!!!
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post #25 of 126 (permalink) Old 05-30-2012, 03:12 PM
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It's happening now
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post #26 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 03:13 AM
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Its actually never happened to me, but ive done it several times to others. Teeheehehehehe
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post #27 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 04:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MetalRacer View Post
You guys ever get the idea that the people who intentionally shun you may have SA as well? Try to understand where they're coming from and realize that they too have their own problems in life.
Exactly.

I'm the person that is usually guilty of this. I have a habit disappearing from friends and dropping all contact from them after awhile, either due to them getting too close to me as a person or me dealing with my own set of issues. I don't want to feel like I'm burden on my friends, and would rather cut them off then drag them into my problems.

Painting moments with words never been
I stay patient
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post #28 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 05:21 AM
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Omg, Just today I experienced this. I was speaking to a friend online and he just abruptly when offline and haven't heard from him since. What the hell is up with this. I ALWAYS say good-bye or if msn disconnects or whatever I text.
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post #29 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 05:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octal View Post
My two best friends of 7 years have stopped talking to me and drifted apart intentionally, I guess I wasnt cool enough for them anymore as they've both made lots of new friends from uni and work.

I've had some do the same.


Work and uni came then I was discarded once cooler friends were made.


I just sit here and feel like trash. I was used and blind sided and they don't even care.
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post #30 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 05:34 AM
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Originally Posted by EastWinds View Post
Exactly.

I'm the person that is usually guilty of this. I have a habit disappearing from friends and dropping all contact from them after awhile, either due to them getting too close to me as a person or me dealing with my own set of issues. I don't want to feel like I'm burden on my friends, and would rather cut them off then drag them into my problems.

Maybe this is what I've done?

Oh god, why does life have to be so complicated. I wish I could turn into a goldfish and swim around in a pond.
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post #31 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 05:59 AM
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yea, I pretty much can relate to this. my buddy for 7 years when he has a gf he has no time for friends anymore.
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post #32 of 126 (permalink) Old 06-17-2012, 08:56 AM
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This is why i hate people. I try my best to be nice, but they act silly. F*** them.
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post #33 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-03-2012, 11:06 AM
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This happened to me a few times. But the friends I had usually have a lot of problems.
I was friends with a girl since we were children. Then suddenly she would not take my calls, or reply to my messages. I tried to be honest with her since we were so close, but she just said she was busy. 5 years later we talk maybe 3 times a year. It hurt, but people change. She was taking a lot of drugs and had all new drug addicted friends. I don't think she is on drugs anymore, but the friendship can't really go back. There are so many things left unsaid, but just move on and don't take it personally. Today it is less real friends and more facebook friends. After the age of 25 friendship days are kind of gone. It is better to focus on family- the people who will really help and support you. So just take friendship as a temporary situation and you wont get hurt. If they ditch you just move on, and don't over analyze it. It is them, not you!
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post #34 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-03-2012, 12:00 PM
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I can see this happens to everyone - even me. I can only conclude that everyone is a piece of ****. Every single stupid *****ing person. Blaming it on the others is wrong? ***** no. I know what I'm saying. It's not my fault. IT'S THEM!!!

The Matrix is a system, Neo.
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post #35 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-03-2012, 12:04 PM
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Red face

This has happened way too many times


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Originally Posted by mochistyle View Post
I get so frustrated when this happens.

I try so hard to be social, make friends, get more confidence and then 'blam' someone stops talking to me, with no warning and my confidence just drops and I don't want to be social any more.

Two separate friends have just stopped talking to me. I've never been moping or anxiety ridden around them. I can be confident when I want to and always was with these two - so I know it wasn't because I was too depressing to be around, something I know other people have felt about me.

***
The first one was at the start of December. I live in China btw - it's not easy to make good friends here. I was friends with this other western girl. She and her boyfriend and my bf and I would hang out together, like every few weeks. We got on really well and would just spend the whole time laughing. One day we were emailing back and forth and arranging to meet up (her suggestion). I emailed her having a mini humorous rant about my work (about 2 sentences), nothing serious and I know she experiences similar things because we do the same job. She didn't reply. I didn't think anything of it. I emailed later in the week to organise hanging out on Saturday, but she never responded. My bf tried talking to her on msn on the to see if they wanted to grab drinks on Saturday night, but she'd ignored him then eventually went off line. That's not unusual for her, so I gave her a quick call on her mobile and she cancelled the call. We didn't want to seem like we were hassling them, so we left it that and went to a bar to meet some other friends.

We've not heard from them since. My boyfriend doesn't care and says they obviously found new friends or are just idiots, but this kind of stuff scars me. I felt a bond between them and have known them for over a year, so I'm a bit shocked. I keep thinking about my email I sent, 'was it too ranty? maybe she didn't find it funny? maybe she thinks I'm moaning and didn't get the humour?'
My bf never has people stop talking to him, I do, all the time, so I'm sensing it was something I did.

The other friend is a Chinese girl. I find Chinese friendships hard to maintain. Largely due to the concept of face - let them 'lose face' slightly and blammo - they're gone. I have gone through many Chinese friends during my time here. This one, I'm not really sure. I invited her over on Xmas day as we were cooking food for a few people and she obviously didn't want to come, so she didn't reply. It's a Chinese thing - don't want to do something, just don't reply lest you or the other person loses face. Next time you see the person, act like normal, maybe tell them you we will and didn't read their message until it was too late, and all will be fine. So that's what I was expecting.
The next week I texted her to see if she wanted to hang out (we do language exchange) and I got a curt reply, 'I'm busy all day and going to Shanghai tomorrow for the weekend.'
I texted her this week, giving her another chance to see if she wanted to hang out, but she didn't reply. I can't text her again. I know the signs. It's over. I've somehow offended her deeply, but she won't tell me or let it slide because the offence caused was likely the result of cultural differences. My invite to dinner was sent the evening before, very short notice, but we organised it last minute.
****

Sorry, long rant. The result is I currently feel very very low. I work part time as a freelance writer and was given a load of scary assignments this weekend, when I'd planned on staying in doors. Right now, I feel so low I don't feel like I have the courage and optimism to pull them off (interviewing various people, in Chinese, and writing them up for a Monday deadline). I want to crawl into a hole
My boyfriend hasn't noticed because he's working till 9pm and just doesn't want to talk about this kind of stuff when he gets in.
This has happened so many times to me with anywhere ranging from people who I don't know at all who were okay with me on the first time meeting to people I thought were good friends.

It is very frustrating & When you already have low confidence it can really get to you. So i'm in a similar dilemma to yourself. It makes me wonder if something about me I don't realise is terribly annoying which in the long run puts people off.

In 'Small' examples I can talk about for example the girl who came into my shop once and was being very friendly/talkative & Even showed me a joke on her phone. I thought great - Someone who might like me. Well that didn't last very long - She came in a second time & comes in even now sometimes and she never smiles, acts extremely cold, if I try talking to her she will look at me like i'm some weird alien from planet mars. It's like but why were you fine with me the first time! - And that certainly isn't the first time this has happened

In bigger examples which actually really confuse me are some people who I know properly and saw them on a daily basis.

Well for example there was this one girl at my last school who always used to be super friendly to me. She asked for my number once and always made an effort to talk to me. Well she was popular and had tons of friends so I really don't know why she wanted to bother to get to know me a dignified loner who barely spoke at all?

Anyway she added me on Facebook after I left school. I accepted and she wrote a really long message on my Wall to which I responded. But she didn't respond perhaps procrastinating & the conversations at that point never developed.

Anyway months passed and I had become reclusive after leaving school. I was very depressed and living in a world of delusions

So I then proceeded to doing something I really regret. I sent a mass Facebook Message to the Friends on my list who were from the school I had left around 7 months prior and told them a fake message saying that I had infact died due to alcoholism. It was partially a sick joke & on the otherhand a pathetic cry for attention to see how my old classmates would react.

Well it turns out some of them did care. I happened to come across a Private Message of them discussing the details of my 'Death' & Well it turns out they wanted to arrange a get together for me and a remembrance. On the suggestion of this girl who I was talking about before. Which was touching for me considering they didn't know me at all.

A few of them wrote statuses as well. Around 7 or 8 did - And well some of them were in detail and touched me quite a bit like the girl I was talking about before said 'I'll always remember you and never forget you' - And another Lad who is now in the Army said Something like 'I'll always love you man' - The others were pretty much just my name along with 'RIP'

And then of course others unsurprisingly didn't give a toss at all. But I couldn't expect them to because as I said other than a bit of small talk and seeing me around they didn't know me at all.

Anyway Months Passed. I added them all again on a New Facebook Account. And none of them really questioned me about it - It was a bit strange I thought considering what they thought before.

But anyway this one girl I was telling you about before. Well I messaged her - And she asked me about the Death thing. And anyway I stupidly but truthfully told her it was a mere 'Joke' - She got very Angry and swore at me and said 'How is it Funny we thought you were dead?' & Ending the conversation by calling me 'Sick in the Head' - To which made me feel a little bad.

Anyway a few months passed again & I messaged her. She said she was going to delete me before I told her 'Here me out' than she stopped.

I told her about how I felt depressed, how it was a weird relief for me. How I liked her a lot because she was always so nice to me. She then listened and she became a sort of virtual shoulder to 'Cry On'.

I told her about my life problems and she even ended up talking about hers. And we talked for a solid 3 hours or even more. I thought she forgave me and she even said 'If you ever feel like talking i'm always here' - So I thought 'Great I've finally made a great friend' -

So another Week Passes. I message her - And she is being short with replies. I think Okay? She might be busy. Another few weeks pass and I message her and she blanks my messages and has been blanking or ignoring them ever since

I guess i'll never know why. I wonder if it has anything to do with me faking my own death - I shouldn't have done that I know - But I wish I hadn't. And I wish I wasn't such a freak at school. I would have had a solid social life by now.

I try moving on from school but I just can't & Keep trying to go back to re-kindle a connection with them. But their opinion on me is not ever going to change now. They think i'm a weird guy and that's it.

I doubt anyone has read my little story here, but it's good to write it down somewhere then keeping it bottled up. I have had other experiences where people have gone all of a sudden 'Stone Cold' with me for no reason. It has made me overly analyze myself and be in despair so much that now I am really learning not to Give a Heck what people think about me anymore.

I focus on the people who do like me. And if someone doesn't then it doesn't matter to be honest - I'll think maybe if they get to know me and don't Pre-Judge me but if they are still the same then I don't think anything of it.

It's hard to fight against my Oversensitive Nature but no one is saying it's Impossible. People are NOT going to change. Human Beings are Fickle, Human Beings are Biased.

And even though I am really friendly to most people & Try my best with the world. I can safely accept right now that the world isn't always going to show me that kindness and warmth back. All's I can do is accept how other people are and most importantly be optimistic
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post #36 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-29-2012, 07:33 AM
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Unhappy

:(


This just happened to me too. My friend who was really close stopped talking to me. She got a boyfriend and they moved in together . She stopped calling me then started being really distant when I called her.
Then she started to just sound nasty so I didn't call again.
A few weeks later my beloved cat died. It was very sad and traumatic for me and she knew how much I loved him but i have not heard from her and its been almost 2 months now.
One of her friends I only met a few times even phoned me the night my cat died to say how sorry she was.
Its really upsetting when women just 'decide' to not be friends with you because they have someone now.
I find it very cruel espiecially when someone has lost someone.
I'm so sad right now and very alone without my little furry best friend.
Atleast I know he would never have done that to me. Animals are so honest.
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post #37 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-29-2012, 11:14 AM
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I know exactly how it feels. It happened to me just recently, by someone i cares a lot about...hit me pretty hard. You just need to see that if someone does that to you, then they weren't worth having around in the first place

You've got to stay detached
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post #38 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-29-2012, 11:22 AM
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They think they are so much better.
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post #39 of 126 (permalink) Old 10-29-2012, 12:44 PM
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I hate when this happens and I don't understand why. Usually I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are having a bad day or something, but if it happens more than once where I try to initiate conversation with them and they ignore me, I drop them. Weirdly enough, I have no problem doing this unless it happens with a girl
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post #40 of 126 (permalink) Old 11-15-2012, 05:44 AM
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Me too... Kind of.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Manners1994 View Post
This has happened so many times to me with anywhere ranging from people who I don't know at all who were okay with me on the first time meeting to people I thought were good friends.

It is very frustrating & When you already have low confidence it can really get to you. So i'm in a similar dilemma to yourself. It makes me wonder if something about me I don't realise is terribly annoying which in the long run puts people off.

So another Week Passes. I message her - And she is being short with replies. I think Okay? She might be busy. Another few weeks pass and I message her and she blanks my messages and has been blanking or ignoring them ever since

I guess i'll never know why. I wonder if it has anything to do with me faking my own death - I shouldn't have done that I know - But I wish I hadn't. And I wish I wasn't such a freak at school. I would have had a solid social life by now.

I try moving on from school but I just can't & Keep trying to go back to re-kindle a connection with them. But their opinion on me is not ever going to change now. They think i'm a weird guy and that's it.

I doubt anyone has read my little story here, but it's good to write it down somewhere then keeping it bottled up. I have had other experiences where people have gone all of a sudden 'Stone Cold' with me for no reason. It has made me overly analyze myself and be in despair so much that now I am really learning not to Give a Heck what people think about me anymore.

I focus on the people who do like me. And if someone doesn't then it doesn't matter to be honest - I'll think maybe if they get to know me and don't Pre-Judge me but if they are still the same then I don't think anything of it.

It's hard to fight against my Oversensitive Nature but no one is saying it's Impossible. People are NOT going to change. Human Beings are Fickle, Human Beings are Biased.

And even though I am really friendly to most people & Try my best with the world. I can safely accept right now that the world isn't always going to show me that kindness and warmth back. All's I can do is accept how other people are and most importantly be optimistic
I have read your story. I feel bad for you, just all wen't spiraling downhill for you and it did that for me too. Just recently, I had a friend completely stop talking to me and when i txted him, no reply.. When i asked a friend to ask him, he said that he wouldn't tell. Now, few days later, This friend i asked to find out why the other guy stopped talking to me, is now not talking to ME. In other words, the two best and only friends i had, stopped talking to me. Now i am friendless.

They did it without giving me a reason, without txting me, complete ignore, which i feel is the worst possible way and cold hearted way to do it. If their is something they don't like about me, couldn't they tell me?

Sometimes I ask myself, what is wrong with me? Theirs gotta be something that they don't like... I just wish they would tell me!!! Why did they just suddenly STOP and not talk???

What stirrs the soup even more is, One of the ex-friends, i just recently hanged out with owes me $480 i just lent him for a sound system... WTF.. man o man... nothing seemed wrong? The other person i hanged out on his birthday just me and him?

Man o man, do i hope this is not some sick joke, because boy will i be angry. The sadness they have caused me is horrible feeling.

Look on the bright side, if their is even one. I don't have a girlfriend or friends at all, All i've got is a sister with aspergers that hates me, and a mum and dad. No other family. So maybe i should just travel? Leave and start new life? Apply for army? I don't know. But then again, i do not wan't to be called a coward who ran from his problems. Maybe i should just stop thinking about this... Either way, i think it is extremely ******d Up how some people can just stop and not explain why. I think they are not worth being my friends. I am gonna collect that money from that person and figure a new life out.
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