My post turned into a rant but it's not directed at anyone. I'm just thinking.
This is a topic I generally do my best not to think about much because like you said there's no check list but I can think of many ways to make me feel bad about myself and all of them are from a broad generalized view of what's considered normal. I'm not "normal" but I'm cool with it. Most people I know my age have kids, but I realized I actually don't want to kids...I thought I did at one point because that's what were sort of expected to do at some point...but why? The world is so populated and I'm sure there will always be people making kids cause they want them. Having kids just isn't for me, it doesn't fit my desired lifestyle...I'm content with a dog or two among the few people in my life I'm close to, I hope to be including more.
We don't really "have" to do anything we don't want to do and we're free to choose to live a life that's right for us. I mean yeah sometimes I have to make choices to do things I may not want to do but I'm doing it because it helps get me somewhere I want to be going. A step along the way. At least where I live I feel like so many people are living their lives according to what they're told, usually without fully consciously realizing it, instead of looking at life with an open mind and making their own choices.