What would you consider as being behind in life? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #21 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-30-2020, 06:43 AM
SOS Member
 
jim11's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: In front of my computer
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,545
My Mood: Scared
When you're broke
jim11 is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #22 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-02-2020, 08:19 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThoughtsLeaveMeAlone View Post
What are things everyone should do by a certain age? I know ultimately thereís no such checklist in real life, but Iím just curious about whatís your personal opinion.
i don't bother comPRING myself to others.....iused t think i wanted kids but now i know tha thaving kids ia very risky.....child abductions do happen and imagine how awful that would be, i know its unlikely but it would be at the back of my mind whenever my 8 yr old kid goes out to play......also you justnever know how kids turn out......there are so many bad influences out there.....
irishkarl is offline  
post #23 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 12:32 PM
A Person
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Essex, UK
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,859
My Mood: Worried
sure....life isnt a race and all of that. But when you're knocking 30 and still a V...then yeah you're behind.


Cool Ice Dude55 is online now  
 
post #24 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 12:44 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool Ice Dude55 View Post
sure....life isnt a race and all of that. But when you're knocking 30 and still a V...then yeah you're behind.
Exactly. (no offence of course)

All other things aside - I think it's probably fairly reasonable to accept that being my age and not having your own house is most certainly "behind".

We can all pretend there's plenty of time and everyone does things in their own time anyway - but somehow I doubt the banks will agree.

It's astonishing the things people tell themselves to make them feel better.
harrison is offline  
post #25 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 12:50 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,082
Reality's a b!tch.
harrison is offline  
post #26 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 01:03 PM
⚰️👻
 
blue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The salty spittoon 🕸️🕷️
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,280
My Mood: Dead
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Reality's a b!tch.
True, always was always will be, that being the case I don't understand why everyone in such a hurry to indulge it






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is offline  
post #27 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 03:05 PM
SAS Member
 
Myosr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,322
being dependent on other people (family).

None
Myosr is offline  
post #28 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 07:22 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
True, always was always will be, that being the case I don't understand why everyone in such a hurry to indulge it
Excellent point as usual mate. Mind you, I have no problem facing up to my own reality - as long as I've taken a Valium first.

Sort of softens the blow I've found.
harrison is offline  
post #29 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 07:53 PM
Barbells and kittens
 
JH1983's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,675
I feel like I should have a lot more money saved and invested than I do.
Posted via Mobile Device
JH1983 is offline  
post #30 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 04:54 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 753
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishkarl View Post
i don't bother comPRING myself to others.....iused t think i wanted kids but now i know tha thaving kids ia very risky.....child abductions do happen and imagine how awful that would be, i know its unlikely but it would be at the back of my mind whenever my 8 yr old kid goes out to play......also you justnever know how kids turn out......there are so many bad influences out there.....
This is a huge reason why I don't ever want kids, I mean yes it is unlikely they would be taken, but for any disaster in life, all it takes is one time. I advise people to never go to bars or clubs ever, male or female. If you are going to a restaurant/bar at 9PM with friends, that is one thing. If you are at a bar or club after midnight, like what is the point. Anyway, in my area, I see the wealthy white parents leaving Jamaican or Haitian or West Indian women to push them around in strollers all day, (just speaking literally), and you have to wonder, what is this old woman going to do if God forbid a lunatic comes up to them? It is wrong that parents with money let their kids be raised by babysitters, which is another story, how cold that is. Anyway, when kids turn about 13, they go through a rebellious stage and just will sneak out and drink or do drugs or have sex or wander the streets at night. That is what also scares me, when they reach that age where they are fearless and start making dumb decisions
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #31 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 05:00 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 753
Quote:
Originally Posted by rabidfoxes View Post
I'm surprised so many people still buy into this milestone thing. Sometimes I watch First Dates on Channel 4 and so many of the people there have it all mapped out: 'so when I am 30 I want to have a husband, a house and a child'. It just feels very...dated?

Like many people who commented here, I don't believe in being 'behind' as a concept. Although I do believe in being stuck. Being stuck is bad and it's best to get unstuck as soon as you can.
Yea, i think being stuck is a state of mind for the most part. Having this or that issue is something to deal with and a valid problem though. Being behind, i think what most people see as milestones and whatever all seem kinda dull and boring and uneventful. Your first kiss i guess might have some meaning, or first time having sex. Graduating high school or college, your first apartment or home, marriage. I don't know but most of those things don't exactly pique my interest, or the thrill of them would wear off very fast
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #32 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 05:09 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 753
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScorchedEarth View Post
As long as you're enjoying yourself, and not sabotaging your future enjoyment, that's what matters. Not a single one of us was asked for permission to be brought into existence, so you owe nothing to anyone just for existing. Not children, not a career, not anything. Take what you can get and then GTFO before old age sets in with all the associated health problems. I don't blame anyone for living their life this way if they have the option.
Yea about old age, I think for men, you start to realize, at some point my sex drive will decrease and you don't have a lot of time left, if that means just having flings or looking for a girlfriend or wife, it is a point of concern. An old friend i had who i haven't seen in over 20 years, he said someone he talked to, some guy said, "I only live once so i will go out and get drunk and try to pick up women every night" or something. I don't think it is necessarily the smartest or most mature thing to do, but at the same time, when a guy gets old enough, he will not want to look back and say he didn't try to have fun whether it means sex or otherwise. If you try to pick up women every night at bars, you probably will wake up with hangovers, develop an addiction or alcohol or other substances, you might wake up in strange places drunk and not know where you are and could even put your life in danger, that is the downside. For women i think they are more looking to develop relationships and families, but time goes by fast. If you are say 25 or 30, and still stagnated in the same routines or not doing what you want to do, might be time to start to panic slightly and do something even if it means take a road trip to another state or hit clubs, I dunno.
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #33 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 05:22 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 753
Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
If you want someone to say "you should have lost your virginity by age blah blah" or "you should have your own house by blah blah" zero chance I would do this, because I have no clue what anyone else's life has been like.

I don't even know if someone else has the value of "must achieve milestones", so how could I tell them they must have done something.
I think one very annoying type of milestone is if a person is well-traveled. Today that means traveling to France, Italy, Spain and taking thousands of pictures of yourself with your dopey self-important friends and snapping pics of food they are about to eat and iconic locations, and then uploading it to Facebook or Instagram to make people jealous. I have no desire to travel, but i have been to 800 or 900 pro sports games in New York City area.

Guys who have been with a lot of women, there is a part of me that is still jealous of that and makes me feel like i missed out. I have been with some gorgeous women but it was a long time ago and i have basically thrown in the towel. Guys who are players have a kinda cut-off disconnected vibe to them, as if they just have sex like robots and then go back home and charge an AC adapter by plugging it into their backs, just not very human or real people. I don't think people in general should have sex until around the age of 18 or so, male or female, but not like anyone today will follow that advice. I think as a guy, showing pictures of women you have been with is very creepy, or to say, i was with X amount of women, very tacky.

I think mentioning what kind of car you drive or house you own or luxuries would only serve the purpose of bragging at parties or when dealing with materialistic women you are trying to impress. It is easy to own a home, because it all depends on the location. I don't think men care to own homes generally with a manicured lawn and all that, unless it attracts a woman. Guys would be happy to live in a hut using lanterns or candle-light and without electricity, if not for the possibility of attracting a woman.
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #34 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 06:09 PM
SAS Member
 
dinosaurparty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 25
Having no friends whatsoever. I hate not having friends. I never had any, everyone always thought I was weird. I don't think there's a lot of people my age who never had friends.
dinosaurparty is offline  
post #35 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-06-2020, 01:54 AM
experimental sincerity
 
rabidfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost View Post
Yea, i think being stuck is a state of mind for the most part. Having this or that issue is something to deal with and a valid problem though.
I agree. Just because something is a state of mind, doesn't mean it's easy to change. Often it's quite the contrary.

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
rabidfoxes is offline  
post #36 of 36 (permalink) Old 10-14-2020, 07:02 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 196
am i behind in life....bloody sure i am.....im 44 and never had a "real" job......i just drifted through some kidish jobs but have never had a career job.....i havent even worked since i was 20 due to mental illness.....all my so called friends (from teen years) are all married and doing well in careers....me, im doing nothing, still singe, but not only single but never had a girlfriend, nor have i even ever had sex.....and i now have no friends either as my childhood friends all desserted me when i got ill
irishkarl is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome