What would you consider as being behind in life? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #21 of 44 (permalink) Old 09-30-2020, 07:43 AM
SOS Member
 
jim11's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: In front of my computer
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,575
My Mood: Scared
When you're broke
jim11 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #22 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-02-2020, 09:19 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 255
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThoughtsLeaveMeAlone View Post
What are things everyone should do by a certain age? I know ultimately thereís no such checklist in real life, but Iím just curious about whatís your personal opinion.
i don't bother comPRING myself to others.....iused t think i wanted kids but now i know tha thaving kids ia very risky.....child abductions do happen and imagine how awful that would be, i know its unlikely but it would be at the back of my mind whenever my 8 yr old kid goes out to play......also you justnever know how kids turn out......there are so many bad influences out there.....
irishkarl is offline  
post #23 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 01:32 PM
A Person
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Essex, UK
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,948
My Mood: Worried
sure....life isnt a race and all of that. But when you're knocking 30 and still a V...then yeah you're behind.


Cool Ice Dude55 is offline  
 
post #24 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 01:44 PM
SAS Member
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,594
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool Ice Dude55 View Post
sure....life isnt a race and all of that. But when you're knocking 30 and still a V...then yeah you're behind.
Exactly. (no offence of course)

All other things aside - I think it's probably fairly reasonable to accept that being my age and not having your own house is most certainly "behind".

We can all pretend there's plenty of time and everyone does things in their own time anyway - but somehow I doubt the banks will agree.

It's astonishing the things people tell themselves to make them feel better.
harrison is offline  
post #25 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 01:50 PM
SAS Member
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,594
Reality's a b!tch.
harrison is offline  
post #26 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 02:03 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Can lift the hammer.
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,869
My Mood: Angelic
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Reality's a b!tch.
True, always was always will be, that being the case I don't understand why everyone in such a hurry to indulge it
blue2 is offline  
post #27 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 08:22 PM
SAS Member
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,594
Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
True, always was always will be, that being the case I don't understand why everyone in such a hurry to indulge it
Excellent point as usual mate. Mind you, I have no problem facing up to my own reality - as long as I've taken a Valium first.

Sort of softens the blow I've found.
harrison is offline  
post #28 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 08:53 PM
Barbells and kittens
 
JH1983's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,779
I feel like I should have a lot more money saved and invested than I do.
Posted via Mobile Device
JH1983 is offline  
post #29 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 05:54 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishkarl View Post
i don't bother comPRING myself to others.....iused t think i wanted kids but now i know tha thaving kids ia very risky.....child abductions do happen and imagine how awful that would be, i know its unlikely but it would be at the back of my mind whenever my 8 yr old kid goes out to play......also you justnever know how kids turn out......there are so many bad influences out there.....
This is a huge reason why I don't ever want kids, I mean yes it is unlikely they would be taken, but for any disaster in life, all it takes is one time. I advise people to never go to bars or clubs ever, male or female. If you are going to a restaurant/bar at 9PM with friends, that is one thing. If you are at a bar or club after midnight, like what is the point. Anyway, in my area, I see the wealthy white parents leaving Jamaican or Haitian or West Indian women to push them around in strollers all day, (just speaking literally), and you have to wonder, what is this old woman going to do if God forbid a lunatic comes up to them? It is wrong that parents with money let their kids be raised by babysitters, which is another story, how cold that is. Anyway, when kids turn about 13, they go through a rebellious stage and just will sneak out and drink or do drugs or have sex or wander the streets at night. That is what also scares me, when they reach that age where they are fearless and start making dumb decisions
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #30 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 06:00 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by rabidfoxes View Post
I'm surprised so many people still buy into this milestone thing. Sometimes I watch First Dates on Channel 4 and so many of the people there have it all mapped out: 'so when I am 30 I want to have a husband, a house and a child'. It just feels very...dated?

Like many people who commented here, I don't believe in being 'behind' as a concept. Although I do believe in being stuck. Being stuck is bad and it's best to get unstuck as soon as you can.
Yea, i think being stuck is a state of mind for the most part. Having this or that issue is something to deal with and a valid problem though. Being behind, i think what most people see as milestones and whatever all seem kinda dull and boring and uneventful. Your first kiss i guess might have some meaning, or first time having sex. Graduating high school or college, your first apartment or home, marriage. I don't know but most of those things don't exactly pique my interest, or the thrill of them would wear off very fast
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #31 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 06:09 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScorchedEarth View Post
As long as you're enjoying yourself, and not sabotaging your future enjoyment, that's what matters. Not a single one of us was asked for permission to be brought into existence, so you owe nothing to anyone just for existing. Not children, not a career, not anything. Take what you can get and then GTFO before old age sets in with all the associated health problems. I don't blame anyone for living their life this way if they have the option.
Yea about old age, I think for men, you start to realize, at some point my sex drive will decrease and you don't have a lot of time left, if that means just having flings or looking for a girlfriend or wife, it is a point of concern. An old friend i had who i haven't seen in over 20 years, he said someone he talked to, some guy said, "I only live once so i will go out and get drunk and try to pick up women every night" or something. I don't think it is necessarily the smartest or most mature thing to do, but at the same time, when a guy gets old enough, he will not want to look back and say he didn't try to have fun whether it means sex or otherwise. If you try to pick up women every night at bars, you probably will wake up with hangovers, develop an addiction or alcohol or other substances, you might wake up in strange places drunk and not know where you are and could even put your life in danger, that is the downside. For women i think they are more looking to develop relationships and families, but time goes by fast. If you are say 25 or 30, and still stagnated in the same routines or not doing what you want to do, might be time to start to panic slightly and do something even if it means take a road trip to another state or hit clubs, I dunno.
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #32 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 06:22 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
If you want someone to say "you should have lost your virginity by age blah blah" or "you should have your own house by blah blah" zero chance I would do this, because I have no clue what anyone else's life has been like.

I don't even know if someone else has the value of "must achieve milestones", so how could I tell them they must have done something.
I think one very annoying type of milestone is if a person is well-traveled. Today that means traveling to France, Italy, Spain and taking thousands of pictures of yourself with your dopey self-important friends and snapping pics of food they are about to eat and iconic locations, and then uploading it to Facebook or Instagram to make people jealous. I have no desire to travel, but i have been to 800 or 900 pro sports games in New York City area.

Guys who have been with a lot of women, there is a part of me that is still jealous of that and makes me feel like i missed out. I have been with some gorgeous women but it was a long time ago and i have basically thrown in the towel. Guys who are players have a kinda cut-off disconnected vibe to them, as if they just have sex like robots and then go back home and charge an AC adapter by plugging it into their backs, just not very human or real people. I don't think people in general should have sex until around the age of 18 or so, male or female, but not like anyone today will follow that advice. I think as a guy, showing pictures of women you have been with is very creepy, or to say, i was with X amount of women, very tacky.

I think mentioning what kind of car you drive or house you own or luxuries would only serve the purpose of bragging at parties or when dealing with materialistic women you are trying to impress. It is easy to own a home, because it all depends on the location. I don't think men care to own homes generally with a manicured lawn and all that, unless it attracts a woman. Guys would be happy to live in a hut using lanterns or candle-light and without electricity, if not for the possibility of attracting a woman.
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #33 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 07:09 PM
SAS Member
 
dinosaurparty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Posts: 55
My Mood: Tired
Having no friends whatsoever. I hate not having friends. I never had any, everyone always thought I was weird. I don't think there's a lot of people my age who never had friends.
dinosaurparty is offline  
post #34 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-06-2020, 02:54 AM
experimental sincerity
 
rabidfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost View Post
Yea, i think being stuck is a state of mind for the most part. Having this or that issue is something to deal with and a valid problem though.
I agree. Just because something is a state of mind, doesn't mean it's easy to change. Often it's quite the contrary.

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
rabidfoxes is offline  
post #35 of 44 (permalink) Old 10-14-2020, 08:02 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 255
am i behind in life....bloody sure i am.....im 44 and never had a "real" job......i just drifted through some kidish jobs but have never had a career job.....i havent even worked since i was 20 due to mental illness.....all my so called friends (from teen years) are all married and doing well in careers....me, im doing nothing, still singe, but not only single but never had a girlfriend, nor have i even ever had sex.....and i now have no friends either as my childhood friends all desserted me when i got ill
irishkarl is offline  
post #36 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-05-2021, 10:09 PM
SAS Member
 
hydinthebasmnt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: northeast
Gender: Female
Age: 43
Posts: 738
My Mood: Lonely
I am very much behind most women my age I would think. I have never been in a relationship, have no kids, never been on a date. I got my first job when I was 39 1/2.



I live paycheck to paycheck, haven't traveled to all those exciting places where you take selfies and show all your friends, not that I have any friends to show anything to anyway, no savings, no real home to call my own, live in a dumpy apartment in a disgusting neighborhood and have very little prospects on getting myself out.


I am not bright or ambitious enough to get a better job, so I am basically stuck in a dead end that gives me nothing but stress and more anxiety. At work I can pretend to be somewhat normal. I never talk about my personal life, since I have none. It gets very awkward when people try to dig into my life.


I listen to people at work discussing their significant others or the fun they've had on their days off. I also see them constantly on their phones texting away to the several people they have in their lives. I can't relate. My phone rarely rings and when it does, it's usually a junk call.
hydinthebasmnt is offline  
post #37 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-06-2021, 02:02 AM
Self isolating from self
 
Fever Dream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: A Gilded Cage
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,863
Yeah, at this point I'm behind, and I'm probably not going to catch back up. It's not for a lack of effort, but nothing ever lasts. I guess that I just can't have nice things.

Setup progress now at 100% capacity.
Fever Dream is offline  
post #38 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-07-2021, 10:25 AM
SAS Member
 
staticradio725's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Vermont, USA
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 178
I would definitely say so. Everybody always like to tell me not to compare myself to others, that I'm on my own life path. Which is undeniably true. But, at the same time, when everyone I went to high school / college with is living independently, has a career-type job, is possibly married and/or has kids, saving for retirement -- and I have none of those things going for me-- Yeah, it's also hard to deny that I am "behind" on a lot of things.
But I don't feel it's very beneficial to look at it that way, to use the word "behind", as if life is some sort of linear race to a finish line, something that's time-sensitive. Yes, there a lot of things my peers have achieved that I haven't. But it isn't as though I haven't got literally the entire rest of my life to "catch up".
staticradio725 is offline  
post #39 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-07-2021, 01:14 PM
(*__*)
 
Mlt18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: U.S
Language: N/A
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,302
Basically me. I canít afford rent and bad at driving with extreme anxiety. Also inability to socialize effectively with people.
Mlt18 is offline  
post #40 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-09-2021, 09:39 PM
Socializing with myself
 
EmotionlessThug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New York, Flushing
Language: Created my own language for context
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 4,927
I feel like I'm not a part of life, because no matter how many times I try, I start from scratch again. The people actions itself is what makes society, if the people aren't capable of changing their attitude, then it would affect me as an individual.

Never had a career, never had an income, never had a girlfriend, regardless of how many times I tried. The people have the same mentality, perception and belief about me since I was a child. The people behavior and communication induces my social anxiety and depression.

The A.I Computers/NSA engineers use a computational intelligence system to design a mentality by translating key/cryptographic key information into thoughts, logic, and emotions that are fake to manage humanity 24/7.
EmotionlessThug is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome