What to do with people that whine too much - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2009, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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What to do with people that whine too much

at work, i sit in a small office with one other person. she whines everyday about her personal life. i wouldnt mind it but a lot if is just so repetious. some of the stuff she whines about is because she puts herself in these spots or about the dysfunctional family she was raised in (also sounds like she brought up a dysfunctional family herself). im so sick of hearing about all these things and i wish i could just speak up and ask her to stop her whining.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2009, 06:50 PM
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Got to love working in an office. It drives me insane dealing with co-workers who complain about thier problems I wish they could walk in my shoes for a week then we will see who still wants to complain.

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2009, 10:42 PM
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I'd probably whine about the same things, if I had someone to whine to and I didn't feel so guilty about whining, so I can't say anything.

Maybe just let her know that, while you feel for her, whining won't fix anything and whining to you, certainly isn't helping her. Sounds mean, but it's the truth.
I sound like a hypocrite.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 12:41 AM
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I just don't respond, or respond with one or two syllables, then tune them out. If she doesn't get the hint then at least you're not spending energy on her.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 03:53 AM
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My mum is like this, always complaining to me about everything under the sun. I feel like she's just dumping it on me most of the time because she rarely actually asks for my input and could very well talk to a brick wall for hours on end and it'd be just fine that the wall didn't talk back. I mightn't mind so much if she wasn't so damn repetitive. I've actually thought about recording her complaining several times and then listening to the recordings to see how similar they are. Pretty sure they'd all be very similar. How she doesn't hear herself, I don't know. That's the other annoying thing, she gets irritated sometimes if my sister and I look completely uninterested in what she's saying (which is weird considering sometimes she won't even notice. gah! she's an odd one).
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 01:38 PM
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Usually what I do is passively disagree with them. Because when people complain, especially extroverts, they want someone to agree with them and tell them that they are justified in being that way and complaining. Unless it is a justifiable complaint about work, it has no place in another coworkers life. So if someone at my work constantly comes up to me to complain I just passively disagree and completely make them seem like they are being a baby when I say stuff like" Oh, that doesn't sound so bad" or "Yeah, that's life" or "Bad things happen, you just have to learn to deal with it." Now these don't seem mean, but if you say them right without being too rude, you will give off the impression that you don't have any tolerance for their whining and moaning. Or you can just ignore them and say "I don't know" whenever they say something annoying to you.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 01:49 PM
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I have a similar kind of problem at my work, except the person is just rude and snarky. I deal with it by totally ignoring her, even if she's trying to be nice, because she always has an ulterior motive. I don't even acknowledge her presence. Seems to work well - since I've been doing it she's shut up and left me alone.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 01:54 PM
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I know some people that whine about their lives alot. It annoys me, maybe it's because I don't have the courage to open up like they do. It's normal to complain though, I don't mind it that much. Although this woman sounds very annoying. You should just reply to stuff with an ambiguous "Yeah...". It will probably show that you don't care, she might not stop completely but she may stop whining directly towards you
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 02:53 PM
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Slap her across the face and tell her to quit whining

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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 06:22 PM
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People that whine and complain just want you to agree with them about how terrible their life is. Saying stuff like, "I'm sorry" and "that sucks" and "what a douchebag" should keep the peace, at least. No idea how to get her to shut up, though. Whiners tend to be really bad at shutting up. I don't know if you wanna try telling her to and risk making an enemy. That's just how I'd handle the situation, since I don't like confrontation.

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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 06:25 PM
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I would try to ignore her if that's possible. I hate when people don't stop whining. From my experience, when you try to be sympathetic and comforting they just whine more.
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 07:11 PM
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Cut them off mid sentence and tell them to save their story for the autobiography they'll never write.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-09-2009, 04:55 AM
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Hearing that woman b**** and moan would drive me nuts! I can't stand people like that. I have worked in a lot of offices and its always the same thing. People yakking about their damn boring personal life. I DON'T CARE!
I am a "just go in do your job and leave" type of person. That is why I can't work in that type of environment. I tried it too many times.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-09-2009, 10:27 AM
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ask her if she wants some cheese to go with that whine
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-09-2009, 03:29 PM
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