I can't think of one particular experience that set of my social anxiety. It was a combination of events and difficult, unfortunate situations, I think.
One thing that comes to mind which no doubt put me on the 'back foot' socially was that I had Arthritis throughout my childhood (I still have it now, but it's largely in remission). As a result of regular doctors appointments and not really being able to go out, I couldn't mix with children of my own age. I only really mixed with them at school. I never had the out-of-school bonding as the rest did. I basically missed out on the earliest forms of socialising and was behind from there on in. As children are inquisitive and unforgiving creatures, I was looked upon by most as some sort of oddity. I wasn't bullied at such (certainly not before my teens), but I was largely ignored. By the time I reached my teens, it was clear there was a notable gap in my social skills compared to others. I felt completely out of my depth and others picked up on this... The rest is history, really.
I think this is the root of my social anxiety and where most of my problems relating to this spawned from.
Originally Posted by TreborHG9
Once I get there, there was a girl sitting at the table that I had met before but never really talked to (I never thought of her as a crush neither and she wasn’t in any of my classes). The girls at her table (which are in my class) say that this girl likes me and she wants to be my girlfriend. I never honestly thought of her as my girlfriend but since I never really had a girlfriend in my life I wanted to give it a shot and I said that I liked her too. After I said that all the girls in the table start yelling “kiss, kiss, kiss” and I was a little nervous since I didn’t know the girl that well and she seemed a bit hesitant to do it. I had forgotten that it was april fools day until I was closing in to kiss her and all the girls at the table screamed “APRIL FOOLS” and they all started laughing including the girl I had a secret crush on from my class. I felt my heart sink when I realized it was a prank and I fell for it. What made it even more embarrassing were the people sitting in the other tables who were staring at what was happening.
That's horrible. I was once set up in a similar way and I've struggled to have trust in ladies ever since. Towards the end of my school career, I remember standing outside of French class in a line of about 25 other pupils. Out of the blue, one of the girls approached me and asked if she could be my girlfriend. She was someone who I hardly knew and perhaps had said four or five words to before. Naturally, I was extremely nervous, but I felt there was something wrong about it. Something didn't feel right. Towards the back of the line I noticed there was quite a lot of giggling going on but it was being held in quite well. I said "no thanks" and left it at that. She started to turn away and then about two thirds of the line burst into laughter at me...
Do you know what actually happened? I did find out a few hours later. Literally everyone in class wanted to set me up for a big, public failure. This was one example where my SA actually prevented the full effect of people’s wrath on me. What was supposed to happen was that she was sent to ask me to be her girlfriend. She had no feelings for me at all, by the way... Anyway, she was sent to ask and as I was about the only one left in the class who hadn't had some form of very basic, early relationship with a member of the opposite sex, I was expected to say "yes". Following this, she was going to turn me down, turn her back on me and walk away - whilst everyone was watching.
It wasn't even April Fools Day either... It was just a deliberate prank in order to upset me and embarrass me in front of everyone.
The one and only time I have ever been approached by a member of the opposite sex...and it was a hoax. Yet, I've got two former friends who were also approached once - and once only. Do you know what happened to them? They're now married to them and have a child each. See the difference...? This is also why I have social anxiety - but not one person outside of our community can see where I'm coming from. They can't see my point of view. They can't see how others reap all the rewards, whilst I reap nothing but the negatives.
Welcome to the story of my life.