what keeps you going? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 07:56 AM Thread Starter
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what keeps you going?


Just wondering what keeps everybody here going? I'm finding the constant loneliness, lack of social skills and in particular lack of relationships to be really tiresome. I have hobby's like soccer and uni study but it feels like i'm basically going through the motions with them. Anyway I have seen people on this site in their 30's and 40's who still haven't found a way to form a relationship with someone, and am wondering what has kept them going. i'm only 22 and am already finding it hard
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post #2 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 08:00 AM
 
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im also only 22 but for me...its because suicide is NEVER an option
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post #3 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 08:09 AM
 
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I can't say I have much to keep me going. Other than the fact that I don't want to be dead haha. I have not had a real social conversation with someone other than my brother in almost 2 years. I have just come to accept it by now, and try not to let it get to me too much.
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post #4 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 08:18 AM
 
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I can't say I have much to keep me going. Other than the fact that I don't want to be dead haha. I have not had a real social conversation with someone other than my brother in almost 2 years. I have just come to accept it by now, and try not to let it get to me too much.
in the end thats all we can do, try. giving up is for losers and ricky hatton...lol jk
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post #5 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 08:22 AM
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Mostly anger haha. No well really my family. Without them I probably wouldn't be able to keep going.

At my worst moments I've thought about suicide (don't get me wrong, it was not because of SA alone, but a sum of alot of things that were happening in my life, I would never contemplate suicide purely because of SA) but I could never do it because of the pain it would bring onto my family.
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post #6 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 08:35 AM
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- A few rare memories of happiness and the desire to feel it again.

- The anger and drive to prove all the naysayers wrong.

- A friend who saved me once and, despite how far I've fallen, the knowledge that I'm capable of being the man she believed in when we were close.

The anxiety and loneliness can be overwhelming, and sometimes it breaks me. But these are things that help me get through it. When the anxiety isn't so strong, they can make me feel unstoppable.
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post #7 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 08:55 AM
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right now, nothing really...im just existing.....hopefully the next life will be better...
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post #8 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinonate View Post
Anyway I have seen people on this site in their 30's and 40's who still haven't found a way to form a relationship with someone, and am wondering what has kept them going.
Some may have not found a way to form a relationship, but on the otherhand some have and it's the desire to be part of that group that should keep you going.

But the question is about what keeps us going. Well in my case i have been low enough to end it, but just couldn't, I got so far in the process but then there was just a block there and to be honest I don't know what that block was but I am now glad it was there.

Paul
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post #9 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 09:35 AM
 
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I'm in my 40's. In my early 20's I naively thought that I would eventually grow out of it as everyone had suggested. Then I saw shrinks and took medications, none of which worked. I became suicidal, but thought I had to keep trying. In my early 30's I realized this wasn't going away anytime soon and had to just get on with it. I made a fairly good career choice, one that catered to the loner types. Now in my 40's, I'm financially ok, but still single with no kids. Relationships never lasted because I've been keeping people at bay my entire life. I've always had a hard time letting people in.

I've read several posts in this forum saying there's nothing wrong with being shy and introverted, I beg to differ.

I probably won't beat this completely, but rather I have to keep learning new coping skills. At this point, I have to acknowlege I have a problem, and decisions of what I do throughout my life have to be made with that in mind.

Am I depressed? I'm more frustrated than anything. My siblings are extroverted, financially well off and very happy. I have the looks and smarts to have done most anything if it wasn't for this condition.

So what keeps me going? The thought that I can still eventually beat this thing. If I never do, at least I can tell myself that I've always tried and NEVER gave up.
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post #10 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 10:11 AM
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Live for my mum and sister. I know they will be devastated if I die. Also I guess my mum has SA too. She doesn't have any friends or anything so she relies on me for support etc. So the feeling that it will be rather selfish of me to just die keeps me going...
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post #11 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 10:59 AM
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that maybe one day, just one day, i can be able to be comfortable with who i am and open up to those that i feel closest with. I am also a religious person, so the mindset that the man upstairs is keeping me alive for a reason, is what definitely keeps me going.

There's no deadlines as long as your alive.
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post #12 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 05:56 PM
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This is going to sound so cheesy.

But, um, nature keeps me going. I love birds and animals and plants and sunshine.
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post #13 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Symon View Post
Some may have not found a way to form a relationship, but on the otherhand some have and it's the desire to be part of that group that should keep you going.But the question is about what keeps us going. Well in my case i have been low enough to end it, but just couldn't, I got so far in the process but then there was just a block there and to be honest I don't know what that block was but I am now glad it was there.

Paul

I second that. I live on the slim chance that I will find a woman.
Ok, that's a bit too optimistic.

I keep going on the slim chance that in my compulsive nature coupled with loneliness I will do something great

.... never hurts to dream now does it.
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post #14 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 06:38 PM
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Books, science, being too narcissistic to allow myself to stop existing, aged Gouda, and Oxford commas.

I think this is where most people would say "friends and family", but....
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post #15 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 06:41 PM
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Books and the fact that I know I will become successful in a career someday.
Hopefully, also, I might find someone to be happy with and have a family.
I can dream, can't I?
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post #16 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 07:46 PM
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The promise that im not REALLY living atm? I enjoy life. SA just taints it. If I could beat SA, not only would the whole realm of social interaction open up to me, but I would feel better all the time, perform better, enjoy the things i enjoy now more, feel motivated, not be afraid to try new things, and just being able to do what i want, when i want, where i want, with whom i want without thinking about it. Its hard to imagine. I just think about all the times i am analyzing a situation (which all of you know is almost constantly) and realizing that i wont be thinking these thoughts at all when i beat SA. I dunno maybe its b/c depression hasn't hit me. maybe its because im young and have my whole future ahead of me. maybe its because i believe in CBT (even though i havent tried it yet. no sense in doubting it before you try it). Im a very motivated person. the thing im most motivated about right now is to beat SA before it beats me.
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post #17 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 09:22 PM
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when i feel very depressed - i pump iron
regular weight lifting, somehow, keeps thoughts about jumping off of somewhere very high, out of my head
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post #18 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belfort View Post
right now, nothing really...im just existing.....hopefully the next life will be better...
I hope my next life is better, i wake up everyday dreading gettting out of bed. I wish I had some friends or a job or something to at least look forward to seeing or doing everyday. It's not easy having SA thats for sure.
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post #19 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 10:55 PM
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Music,sports obsessions - I only really get depressed and bored when I'm out of the house. When I'm at home,I'm perfectly comfortable and content listening to my music and watching TV,eating,computer. I haven't ever got into video games. When I get bored of this stuff,I'll get into that - open up a whole new avenue...
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post #20 of 65 (permalink) Old 05-10-2009, 11:06 PM
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