What does it mean to click with someone?
This might come across as a bit "autistic", but I'm dead serious, I really don't get it. I don't understand how people click with each other. People often like to claim that "we like those who are similar to us". I suppose that would entail similar interests, philosophies, demographics. But then other people would say, "You don't necessarily need anything in common. You just have to show a genuine interest in the other person" and that would confuse the heck out of me. I would be talking with someone, and they don't ever talk about hobbies or interests (or if they do, they're completely different from mine). It would be nice if they talked about a movie they enjoyed, or a video game, a band that they regularly listen to, but some people literally self-describe as having zero hobbies. If their only hobby is "hanging out with friends", then I'll immediately conclude that I have nothing in common with them. Not that I'm disinterested in others who are not a carbon copy of me, but... the relatability factor just isn't there.
Once in a blue moon, I might be invited to a bar with a bunch of people, and they'll just go on this autopilot socializing mode, where they talk about personal stories, mutual friends, whatever. I rarely hear anyone talk about "hobbies" or "interests" during these contexts. (Same with parties, which have a very similar vibe to bars.) It's a bit overbearing for me, and my mind kinda shuts down because I don't know what to say, when to say it, how to say it. I literally don't have anything to contribute because I don't have these adventures like everyone else does. I don't go out a lot, I don't travel very much (though I'd certainly like to), and again, there's no sense of "relatability" between me and anyone else at the table.
Going back to the original topic, "click" is generally defined in the dictionary as "get on well". But then I could ask, what does it mean to "get on well"? There's definitely a "je ne sais quoi" element of "clicking" that cannot be explained in words, but is rather felt. And I find that to be discomforting, because it's so intangible, vague, subjective. You think there are these "rules" or "guidelines" that would dictate whether someone would click with another person, but then these rules are constantly broken. People can and do often get along with people of different ethnic backgrounds, genders, sexual orientations, religions, and so on.
I'm not sure if this is social anxiety or if it's just a lack of comprehension of how social interactions work. I think it's a bit of both. Anyway, it just frustrates me because I have so much difficulty with making friends, and I have no idea why.