What annoys you about the people you're cohabiting with? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #41 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-09-2020, 11:47 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Rainforest <-> Tundra
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,458
My Mood: Bored
Quote:
Originally Posted by coeur_brise View Post
Coming back here.. to find that it's not so bad. I just hate the lack of privacy and mental space. One of the two of us needs a social life. Or hobby. Or just something to occupy a large portion of the day out of our hair. Eek. Two homebodies make for one very frustrated body.

@leaf in the wind , Do you think getting him help would help any? Sorry to hear what you're going through and how much of a burden that can feel like. I feel like we can wrap ourselves so much in another person's problems that they become our own. I find some physical space once in a while helps. And you can never solve them, as hard as you might try or with the best of intentions, want to.
I think the covid situation has made cohabiting more strained - And yet, I'm not even sure if the alternative is better because complete isolation while locking down alone would have been utterly torturous. Rock and hard place kind of scenario... would you rather live alone?

A psychiatrist would really help him, but he refuses to seek help and denies he even has a problem. It's just been incredible frustration with this man. He quit showing up to work almost a year ago and has refused to seek another job since (he's just been playing games all day), is unwilling to maintain basic hygiene, gained a ton of weight, and won't help with housework.
leaf in the wind is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #42 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-10-2020, 03:14 AM
Royally F***ed
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 48
Posts: 9,629
My Mood: Brooding
@leaf in the wind

That's tough when it's your partner. At least I can avoid my brother most of the time. It's only really a problem when we run into each other in the hall or kitchen, or after he's been in the bathroom. I think he showers maybe once a month, maybe every two? It's not very often. We have no AC and it's been really hot here, and he sleeps in his clothes and only does laundry every couple months or so, so you have to keep a few feet away from him or hold your breath.

When I went to visit him at his house, before he moved in here, the place was crawling with bugs. There were flies everywhere; swarms of them in the windows. I don't think it's a desire to be disgusting in his case so much as it just doesn't register. The bugs don't bother him; being dirty doesn't bother him; not being able to see the floor of his room doesn't bother him. He lives entirely inside his own head. He's extremely difficult to talk to as well; he just doesn't respond to a lot of what you say, just sort of stares, so it's not like you can have a rational conversation with him about any of it. I sometimes get the impression that he's "sleepwalking" through life; like there's no one really awake in there; and it can be eerie at times. But then other times you can have almost normal conversations with him, so idk.

He's not even the craziest person in my family, lol.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
truant is offline  
post #43 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-10-2020, 10:33 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Rainforest <-> Tundra
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,458
My Mood: Bored
@truant

I'm not married nor do I have children, so if it ever gets to the point where he's taking a crap on the floor (and not cleaning it up), it is feasible for me to leave with no strings attached. I think abandoning a sibling would be mentally a lot tougher. Partner has a lot of great attributes! He's easygoing and tolerant and cute as a button. But when my frustrations boil over all I see are his flaws (most important is bad personal hygiene!!).

And thank you, I hope things get better for you and your family too. If you write a blog I'd be interested to read it - Your life seems chaotic but you're so detached and articulate about it all.
leaf in the wind is offline  
 
post #44 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-11-2020, 02:45 AM
Royally F***ed
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 48
Posts: 9,629
My Mood: Brooding
@leaf in the wind

I have made blog posts here on SAS, but I only post when I'm in a really bad way, or when something is too crazy or dull for the main forum. So I don't think you'd find much of interest there. I don't really use it like a blog.

My friend tells me I should write a book about my family, and I really could, only my parents are pretty tight-lipped about things so I only hear about things my siblings have done long after the fact, and only in sort of oblique ways. If I knew every crazy thing every one of us had done and put it in a book, I doubt anyone would believe it anyway. Nine kids and more than 9 psychiatric disorders. Plus my aunts and some of my other relatives are crazy, too.

I think I'm sort of detached about it because I grew up with it so it's just normal for me. I know multiple people who suffer from delusions, multiple people with impulse control disorders, multiple people with PTSD. Doesn't everyone? I thought mental illness was as common as catching a cold. I can't believe this forum doesn't have half a million regular users.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
truant is offline  
post #45 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-12-2020, 11:02 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kovac
Gender: Male
Posts: 162
My Mood: Brooding
In short he is a retarded *** clown;
My God, where do I start?
He sits in his room all day and makes stupid noises. And also screams about how much he hates my guts. Because for some reason this dumb *** doesn't seem to have a volume control on his mouth. In the past he has gotten so loud that the next door neighbors have asked him to keep the noise down. Instead of turning it down, he just starts swearing and abusing them. Then eventually the police show up. Because the entire street can hear him.
He is convinced that I am doing everything in my power to harass him. Everything bad that happens in his life is somehow my fault. I have somehow been the one who orchestrated it.
The power goes out?.
It must have been me switched it off just to have a go at him. Ants on the kitchen table top? I put them their. Nothing to do with the fact that he leaves his MacDonald scraps on there for like three days. He has broken everything in the house. The front gate, the back door has had to be replaced 8 times now. The vacuum cleaner. I could write an entire encyclopedia on this subject but this will do for now
shouldeyefallbehind is offline  
post #46 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-12-2020, 11:39 AM
Permanently tired
 
AffinityWing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: barely livings ave.
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 1,894
My Mood: Scared
So far I think I've gotten along pretty well with my current roommate, though to be honest there are some minor annoyances. I feel like she takes up too much room in cabinets, the fridge and etc. with her things. She seems to have been living here without a roommate for awhile before I got here, but it looks like she still treats the it like she's the only one living here. I'm constantly turning the AC setting to "Auto" because I get too cold but she always put it back to "Cold" because she says its gets too hot in her room.

She likes to use the microwave as a storage place for her desserts when she bakes, but I don't get why she can't just use a container or something. I've never seen or heard of anyone doing that before, so I found it quite odd. To be honest, I also find it pretty annoying having to take someone else's stuff out of the microwave every time I want to use it, but I've brought it up with her before and we couldn't find a compromise. It's no use trying to change certain ways of a person, after all.



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


Mili
AffinityWing is offline  
post #47 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-16-2020, 04:29 AM
😀
 
Alpha Tauri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Philippines
Posts: 7,481
My older brother sometimes forgets to flush
Alpha Tauri is offline  
post #48 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-16-2020, 05:18 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: NY
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,361
My Mood: Lonely
Heís a mentally unstable drunk. A bigot too.
TryingMara is offline  
post #49 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-20-2020, 05:58 PM
Birthday Cake Cutie
 
SilentLyric's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Illinois, in my Landlord's basement
Gender: Other
Age: 28
Posts: 8,734
they treat me like I'm 10, when I am really 28.
SilentLyric is offline  
post #50 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-21-2020, 10:26 PM
Aly
Social outcast
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Posts: 1,406
I live with all guys. My dad, my 11 yr old nephew, my older brother, and my twin brother. All they do is make noise. All they do is yell at their ****ing video games ALL DAY. I need quiet. I’m going crazy. I can’t deal with it anymore and I can’t even move out because I can’t get a ****ing job.
Aly is offline  
post #51 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-21-2020, 10:49 PM
Birthday Cake Cutie
 
SilentLyric's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Illinois, in my Landlord's basement
Gender: Other
Age: 28
Posts: 8,734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aly View Post
I live with all guys. My dad, my 11 yr old nephew, my older brother, and my twin brother. All they do is make noise. All they do is yell at their ****ing video games ALL DAY. I need quiet. Iím going crazy. I canít deal with it anymore and I canít even move out because I canít get a ****ing job.

yell louder than them, maybe they will be quiter then.
SilentLyric is offline  
post #52 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-22-2020, 03:16 AM
Villain
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down one ****post at a time
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 39,847
I'm probably usually the annoying one.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #53 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-22-2020, 07:42 AM
insert witty comment here
 
Lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,938
Quote:
Originally Posted by AffinityWing View Post
So far I think I've gotten along pretty well with my current roommate, though to be honest there are some minor annoyances. I feel like she takes up too much room in cabinets, the fridge and etc. with her things. She seems to have been living here without a roommate for awhile before I got here, but it looks like she still treats the it like she's the only one living here. I'm constantly turning the AC setting to "Auto" because I get too cold but she always put it back to "Cold" because she says its gets too hot in her room.

She likes to use the microwave as a storage place for her desserts when she bakes, but I don't get why she can't just use a container or something. I've never seen or heard of anyone doing that before, so I found it quite odd. To be honest, I also find it pretty annoying having to take someone else's stuff out of the microwave every time I want to use it, but I've brought it up with her before and we couldn't find a compromise. It's no use trying to change certain ways of a person, after all.
I use the oven as a storage space for pots, pans and potatoes. I have a small kitchen that I still want to look tidy. Could that be the reason? Alternatively, it may just be a habit she got from her family growing up.
Lisa is offline  
post #54 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-22-2020, 07:52 AM
insert witty comment here
 
Lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,938
Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
I'm probably usually the annoying one.
I used to live in flat shares in London when I was a student. In my experience, every single person at least slightly annoys every other person.
Lisa is offline  
post #55 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-22-2020, 08:59 AM
SAS Member
 
kesker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ricola
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,878
My Mood: Breezy
We are complete opposites in almost every way, including our living habits. It is our eternal fight and in 20 years we have never come close to settling it. I value space and voids in a living area and will throw things away at the drop of a hat. The only real physical objects I value are gifts. Betsy, on the other hand, will hang on to everything. I once thought I could get away with maybe tossing out a few old items she hadn't used in decades but it was not to be.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

~bad baby

"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"
kesker is offline  
post #56 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-22-2020, 09:06 AM
SAS Member
 
kesker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ricola
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,878
My Mood: Breezy
@leaf in the wind There are no consequences for his actions so there's little reason or motivation for him to change. He's living a very comfortable life. I think that's one of the hallmarks of depression, including in myself. We're drawn to the allure of the avoidance of consequences. It makes it easier to continue living in a bubble of supposed comfort. Unfortunately, it's not real comfort. It's just a very effective illusion of it.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

~bad baby

"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"
kesker is offline  
post #57 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-23-2020, 10:36 AM
SAS Member
 
Deaf Mute's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Ether
Posts: 838
- They ****ed my whole life up
- They ****ed up EVERYTHING
- They're **** at financing
- They're in major debt
- They're ****ing hoarders x10000
- They're gamblers and gamble away all their money
- They're messy and eat trash
- The fridge is trash because of them
- The kitchen is trash because of them
- The whole ****ing house is trash because of them
- They don't ****ing think.
- The garage is WTF.................................... I have so much shame and embarrassment when the landlord comes holy fuk. Why do I have to deal with it, you ****ing deal with it god ffs you just **** all over their house and think it's yours but it's not yours. YOU'RE ****ING RENTING SO BE RESPECTFUL OF PROPERTY THAT'S NOT YOURS.

Positives:

- They are paying for the bulk of it....

I don't wanna exist
Deaf Mute is offline  
post #58 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-24-2020, 03:14 PM
Not A Low Calorie Food
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 31,110
My Mood: Relaxed
We got groceries yesterday and I have spent the entire two days trying to get the refrigerator down below 40 degrees. This refrigerator is old anyway so it probably doesn't work as well as it should. On top of that, it has been running almost nonstop since yesterday and my parents keep opening the door. And worse, my mother will open the door and get a pot out and stand there getting food out of the pot with the door wide open. So the refrigerator was warm anyway and is struggling to get cold and she's letting all the cold out every single time it starts to catch up.

This has been an ongoing thing for years. They just won't listen. This would be the worst damn time to get sick from eating spoiled food.

/WYSD
WillYouStopDave is online now  
post #59 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-24-2020, 06:15 PM
I am Jack's cold sweat
 
either/or's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 490
I live alone but my upstairs neighbor is the loudest most annoying human entity I've ever met. I can hear EVERYTHING she does or says.

She talks on the phone all day and when I say talk I mean shouts. I hear all her stupid inane conversations and have to listen to all her over the top crazy-person laughing fits.

And she doesn't just talk on the phone, she talks to herself. I hear her out in the hallway having these stupid conversations with herself. Like when she gets her mail and goes through it she like narrates the whole process. To no one. It's so weird. And because our building is so small and units so close together I hear all of her insanity.

Then there are the constant crashes and bashes and slams. The ones in the bedroom at midnight are my favorite : | She lives alone, what is she doing up there? Constantly rearranging her furniture? I mean there's no one to sumo wrestle with. Why is she constantly dropping and slamming things up there? God only knows.

And the worst I mean THE WORST is when she blasts her Bette Midler music and sings along with it. Serenity now!

Never a moment of peace and quiet.


I've been out haunting the neighborhood
And everybody can see I'm no good
When I'm walking out between parked cars
With my head full of stars
either/or is offline  
post #60 of 66 (permalink) Old 07-24-2020, 06:27 PM
Not A Low Calorie Food
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 31,110
My Mood: Relaxed
@either/or - If you're renting, you should start writing letters to the management. The only reason I haven't said anything to anyone about the noise above me is my parents own the condo and I do not want to get anything started with people I might have to put up with for years.

When we were renting we had some really rotten neighbors above us and I finally started writing letters. The way I sold it to the management was that we were quiet people who never caused any trouble and we had been there for years and we were going to move out if they didn't make them leave. It took 3 letters over the space of like 6 months but it worked. The management didn't know I was bluffing (My parents knew nothing about the letters).

/WYSD
WillYouStopDave is online now  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome