Irrelevant Dog Nerd
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: In my own world
Language: English, some German dog commands ;3
Weird feelings about my friend's crush
Recently my best friend has had a crush on a guy she met like a week ago. It's basically become a daily thing for her to go on about her interactions with him and how she basically just melts and loses her mind over him. I try so hard to be supportive and talk to her about him but if I'm being honest it makes me so uncomfortable.
A bit of information to add to this; I have a weird general disliking towards men (no offense to any men on here). There are some exceptions, but not many. Also I'm asexual and I've never really understood attraction between people.
Anyway, I've basically been feeling really weird anytime she starts talking about him, especially recently when she told me he's flirted with her a couple times. It's actually gotten to the point where I start to legitimately feel sick to my stomach when she talks about her attraction to him and his occasional flirting. It's also been throwing me into depressive episodes, and I'm not entirely sure why. Other than this discomfort, there are other things that I've been feeling, but I can't really describe it. I can spit out a few words that may give an idea of my emotions, but I'm not sure how accurate they truly are. Resentment? Suspicion? Fear? Paranoia? Stupidity? It's weird, I don't know, is there a phobia of romance or something??
Also I'm a very possessive person (not in a toxic way, I don't try controlling people. It's just a sense of dread and fear of abandonment/being replaced), so that might have something to do with how I'm feeling
Honestly, I'm not sure where I'm going with this.. I just needed somewhere to get this all out instead of bottling it up, and maybe seeing if anyone relates.
"How do you run from your own mind?"
"We're all broken, it's fate
It's the way that we're made"
"Do they understand?
I'm begging for an ally
Think I'm just confused
blow it off it's nothing new"
"I'm my closest friend, I remind myself again
better treat her well 'cause she's with me till the end"
"Everything is temporary
You and I are temporary
and this feeling that's so scary"
"My mind is a mess but I love it nonetheless"