Was doing really well and now I'm basically at rock bottom again - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-17-2018, 11:08 PM Thread Starter
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Was doing really well and now I'm basically at rock bottom again


So a little background on me I'm a late twenties male who's been blessed () with a trio of physical/mental issues. My physical disability basically comes in the form of not having the best control over my fine motor skills so my writing is not legible for the most part ( I physically can write but what comes out when I try is very sloppy and hard to read), this disability has also prevented me from driving which as one might imagine has put a damper on any attempts at a social life. I also have ADHD, and issues with anxiety. These three things have made it really hard to get started on having an adult life, and it frustrates me because sometimes I feel that if I only had the physical or mental issues by themselves I'd be in a much better place

Anyways back to to the point of me being in a good place and then falling backwards. After a very rocky high school experience (very little social life, and a very up and down academic record) , and then a few false starts at college after which I was in a real rut in which I wasn't really doing anything, I finally hunkered down found a state school that worked for me and graduated with a solid 3.53 gpa (admittedly with a liberal arts Poli Sci degree but still). I still didn't have much in the way of a social life but at least I accomplished something. Then a month or two after I graduated undergrad I got accepted into a masters program at the same school i graduated from, and was chosen to work as a graduate assistant. My time in the master's program was a high point for me I did even better academically (3.88 gpa) than in undergrad, got to work two internships in addition to my GA position, and met a handful of people I formed solid ( situational) friendships with, who I hung out with before and after classes, and texted with fairly regularly. Unfortunately, as I mentioned these friends were seemingly all just situational. This has always been a problem for me I do a good job at making these types of situational friendships, in work or school environments , but once I'm out of them I have no clue on how to convert them to real friendships and keep in touch, and no one seems to want to put in the effort to keep in touch with me.


But anyways I finished my master's program with a lot of confidence and high hopes, I really thought I'd finally get the chance of starting a real adult life like I always wanted. Unfortunately, that's not what happened I didn't go into the job search after graduating with a game plan, and the job that eventually wanted to hire me and that I accepted, turned out to be a horrible fit for my disabilities, and was basically an experience of having my worst fears of How I would perform at a job paraded in front of me one after the other. It got to the point after 5 months I decided to quit after about 5months as I saw the writing on the wall that I was eventually going to get fired. The job basically killed my self-confidence and since then I have gone back and forth between actually applying for new jobs, and not doing much at al while still living with my parents which obviously sucks. Part of it is because I'm terrified of failing again, and part of me just thinks maybe I've gone as far as I'm destined to go in life.


I don't know I just wanted to vent, writing it all out helps a bit I think.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-18-2018, 04:53 PM
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Just try to find some way out, thats my advice. Like keep going for jobs or something, dont give up
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-18-2018, 05:31 PM
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I'm in a similar situation. My advice would be to just keep sending out applications. Eventually you'll find the one.

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