Toxic friends - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 11:41 AM Thread Starter
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Toxic friends


Has anyone had a toxic friend before? What did they do to you? Did you cut them out?

A former friend of mine had no problems gossiping and being hurtful. I can't believe I lived with this for nearly two years of my life. She sucked the life out of me and it caused me to become depressed and more anxious. I can't believe I defended her behavior at times!

I cut her out for good a year ago and made a promise to myself to not hang around people like that again. I felt so much better when I didn't have to deal with her anymore.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 11:55 AM
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Re: Toxic friends


If you're not at peace with family, you're not at peace.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 11:55 AM
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Re: Toxic friends


I got two They were like my closest friend I had and it suck that they were so mean.

In junior high, I got a friend that had too much freedom and she could go shop around or participate in many activities outside, making her very sociable and worldly. I was living with my relative at that time and they restricted my every movement. So I turn out not so open minded as my friend and I was thoroughly influenced by her. She took advantage and step all over me and even once got someone to beat me up because I irritate her. Lest to say, we grew apart and we stopped contacting each other.

In high school was worse. My 'friend' was very temperament and overly sensitive. She could be this cheerful person and a lioness the next. She took out her frustrations on me and was actually happy to see me getting bullied by fellow classmates. Of course after we graduated, I deleted her off from myspace and stopped contacting her altogether. I think this one was a serious drainer for me. She literally make me feel like an emotional punching bag for her to use. I never felt so lifeless. She was also a very selfish person.

Now, I only contact a longtime friend from junior high and really, why didn't I actually make her my best friend instead? She is a good christian and a very cheerful person. There's no inch of negativity around her. I felt good and relax around her.

I think because of these incident (only a small part which affect my SA) I tend to isolate myself from people instead of making friends all over again. It's like a lottery. I don't want to get the bad draw again.

Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone
But it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me

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'Cause i'm going to strawberry fields...

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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 12:06 PM
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Re: Toxic friends


At school i had a really toxic friend , she was a female obviously hence the she but yeah i just couldn't get rid of her since she was in most my classes and she used to always try and link arms with me on the way to and from class , bad mouth everyone behind their backs and just in general be a disturbed little madam .
I still bump into her every now and then but yeah thank god that's over in fact i'm sure she had some weird kinda crush on me or sumfin cos one of my friends dated her a few years back and said he found tonnes of photos of me from like high school and stuff in her apartment , jeez talk about obsessive. .

Keep it simple
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 04:43 PM
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Re: Toxic friends


yes, i have...

I'm nothin short
Of a
Circumcised d*** head
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-11-2008, 05:19 PM
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Re: Toxic friends


yep definitely had one of these.. she was my best friend from 3rd grade till senior year of hs, with a few breaks in between. In HS, she was the only friend I had left. She was extremely self-centered, selfish, dramatic and always needed everyone's attention. Towards me, she was very critical and judgmental. She would constantly put me down and make little backwards compliments to me, since she was jealous of me. She would always have other friends (although everyone at school labelled her a **** and guy-obsessed, which was true) but would rarely invite me to hang out altogether, even though she knew I had trouble making friends. I continued to stay friends w/ her throughout HS because she was my crutch - literally my ONLY friend - and I felt as long as I had her, that wouldn't make me a complete loser. Although I'm sure everyone associated me with her, and it crippled by ability to go out and make new friends.

I told myself after senior yr of HS I would cut all ties with her (althought my parents and bf thought I would continue staying friends w/ her) and it turned out, we had a falling out the middle of senior yr and stopped being friends because of that. Now we don't talk, except when she occasionally IMs me or write on my wall. I'm definitely better off without her as a friend, because I think she definitely contributed to my SA, but on the other hand, it does suck not having that best friend who you've had for years.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-11-2008, 06:28 PM
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Re: Toxic friends


The one person who ****ed my life and my head up more than anything else was my ex-girlfriend. She was my first love and she was the best thing that ever happened to me until I went to Iraq.. Then she dumped me, turned into a nymphomaniac and screwed every guy she saw.

I haven't had a girl since her, that was 2 years ago.

"I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it"- Clint Eastwood

Kansas City, MO Native currently living in Texas
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-11-2008, 08:06 PM
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Re: Toxic friends


Oh yeah. It's weird how you see people differently as you get older, like "I can't believe I used to hang out with them".
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-26-2013, 12:04 PM
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Sucks the life out of me


I have a toxic friendship with someone who is sucking the life out of me. She is so needy, and her thought process is way off. She just is not normal and had the nerve to look at other people like something is wrong with them. Our relationship is one-sided where I keep giving everything to her and she hardly gives anything to me. She keeps picking with me about absolutely nothing and it is really ticking me off. For example, I'll say something like that I don't like peanut butter and she'll say, "You're weird." If only she knew how weird she is, so weird that I can't even put it on an anonymous forum like this because her weirdness is unique to her. People have even talked about how weird she is before we started hanging together, but I was just trying to be a friend to her because no one wanted to hang with her.

Now I am trying to back away from her. I will no longer hang out with her and hope that she gets the point. If she presses me to explain my absence, I'll just explain that I need to get away from her. I don't know who she will hang with now, but I frankly don't care anymore. Not my problem.
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