This boy..... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 06:22 AM Thread Starter
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This boy.....


Hey guys, so yesterday i went on a date with this boy and to be honest he looked even better in person than he did in the pictures ( I met him on tinder). He is 22 and I am 19. We talked for about two hours and just got to know eachother. He seemed really cool until he told me one thing: he has a two month old. What I am afraid of is what if i continue to go on dates with this boy and it turns serious and I fall in love with him. I am not ready to be anybody's mom yet. I want to have kids but not until I am 30. I really like him though. He is very smart and athletic. He is a nurse and went to the junior olympics for cheerleading. He is also a good person to talk to. He is the type of person to bring home to parents. However, realize that if things get serious then his child obviously comes first and he wants to be with a girl who is alright with being a mom right away. What should I do? Should i continue to go out on dates with him?
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 11:59 AM
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I think you answered your own question by saying your not ready to be a mom yet. Also I'd be concerned about what his level of involvement (feelings) still is with his ex since the child isn't really that old yet, if they happen to be on bad terms there's the possibility of drama between them too. I personally wouldn't want to get involved in such a situation but as long as you/him care for each other and things seem genuine then that's what matters.
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 12:12 PM
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"he wants to be with a girl who is alright with being a mom right away."

"I am not ready to be anybody's mom yet"

just tell him then? let him decide.

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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinitegalaxycat View Post
Hey guys, so yesterday i went on a date with this boy and to be honest he looked even better in person than he did in the pictures ( I met him on tinder). He is 22 and I am 19. We talked for about two hours and just got to know eachother. He seemed really cool until he told me one thing: he has a two month old. What I am afraid of is what if i continue to go on dates with this boy and it turns serious and I fall in love with him. I am not ready to be anybody's mom yet. I want to have kids but not until I am 30. I really like him though. He is very smart and athletic. He is a nurse and went to the junior olympics for cheerleading. He is also a good person to talk to. He is the type of person to bring home to parents. However, realize that if things get serious then his child obviously comes first and he wants to be with a girl who is alright with being a mom right away. What should I do? Should i continue to go out on dates with him?
His child was born 2 months ago and he's already back on Tinder?

Find another one.
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 02:03 PM
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What happened with the mom of the child?

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He is a nurse and went to the junior olympics for cheerleading.
Umm... are you sure this guy is straight?
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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I dont know a whole lot about the mom of the child other than the fact that she used to be in the navy and she wants her ex to pay child support. I think it seems like alot of drama to be honest. Also, he specifically said on his profile that he was a straight male.
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 05:21 PM
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If he wants a girl who's alright with being a mom right away then way isn't he at home with his two month old child's actual mother? Maybe I shouldn't judge him because maybe she's the one who doesn't want to be with him anymore. But still, that just sounds like too much drama to deal with at your age.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 06:13 PM
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Umm... are you sure this guy is straight?
Well, there appears to be incontrovertible physical evidence that he had successful sex with a woman.

Incidentally, until the last half century or so, it was normal for men to be cheerleaders. And in this century it's normal for men to be nurses.

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I dont know a whole lot about the mom of the child other than the fact that she used to be in the navy and she wants her ex to pay child support.
If she wants him to pay child support, it sounds like the mom is the primary caregiver? Which makes me a bit confused about why he's putting the emphasis on finding a second mom for the kid.

At any rate, if you're not in love with him yet and there will be other options, there's nothing wrong with declining to get involved in the drama.

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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 06:16 PM
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go for it , believe it will work it will, believe it will all fail it will. your mind is your biggest enemy.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-22-2019, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Infinitegalaxycat View Post
I dont know a whole lot about the mom of the child other than the fact that she used to be in the navy and she wants her ex to pay child support. I think it seems like alot of drama to be honest. Also, he specifically said on his profile that he was a straight male.
Well, if the child has a mom, then you can't be the child's mom - you'll be his dad's girlfriend, at most. From your post it almost sounded as if he was a single dad solely taking care of the baby. I have no idea how much he intends to be a part of the child's life, and that will be the indicator of how much of the child you could expect to see.

Whatever you decide, insist on using protection. Don't let him talk you into the good old "I'll pull it out" - he obviously can't.

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Well, there appears to be incontrovertible physical evidence that he had successful sex with a woman.
Many gay men have had sex with women. Many have also married them and spent their days living a lie.

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Incidentally, until the last half century or so, it was normal for men to be cheerleaders.
What? This is news to me, lol. Cheerleading, as I know it, is a predominantly female activity. I do not know of any straight men who are interested in cheerleading. She just needs to be careful, is all I'm saying.
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-22-2019, 07:22 AM
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Yeah the 2 month old is a red flag....baby is 2 months and already has split parents.....drama with ex.....plus so much responsibility.

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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-22-2019, 09:18 AM
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Many gay men have had sex with women. Many have also married them and spent their days living a lie.
While it happens in repressed places where pretending to be straight is a survival skill, most guys can't physically perform to the level necessary for pregnancy for the gender they're not attracted to. The vast majority of sham relationships don't have much successful sex. Though I suppose he could've been popping pills for it.

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What? This is news to me, lol. Cheerleading, as I know it, is a predominantly female activity.
Originally, cheerleaders were all men. It wasn't until men were busy fighting WWII that women gained a foothold, and a mix was normal for decades after that. And men are still common in some circumstances, like 50% of college cheerleaders are men. And of course this is all culturally-specific. A guy volunteering for a job that consists of touching and tossing around scantily-clad fit women sounds gay to you?

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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-22-2019, 10:51 AM
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Man - well all I can say is I don't think a guy in one of those cute little outfits would really do it for me. The girls look much better.
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-22-2019, 11:04 AM
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Won't the kids mom be it's mom.... : /.......I'd say this guy is bad news if you want a long term thing, he's broadcasting his seed, but whatever hump away I don't give a crap.






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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-23-2019, 06:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veron View Post
Well, if the child has a mom, then you can't be the child's mom - you'll be his dad's girlfriend, at most. From your post it almost sounded as if he was a single dad solely taking care of the baby. I have no idea how much he intends to be a part of the child's life, and that will be the indicator of how much of the child you could expect to see.

Whatever you decide, insist on using protection. Don't let him talk you into the good old "I'll pull it out" - he obviously can't.


Many gay men have had sex with women. Many have also married them and spent their days living a lie.


What? This is news to me, lol. Cheerleading, as I know it, is a predominantly female activity. I do not know of any straight men who are interested in cheerleading. She just needs to be careful, is all I'm saying.
Have you dated guys that turned out to be gay before? I think you're projecting some paranoia here.


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Man - well all I can say is I don't think a guy in one of those cute little outfits would really do it for me. The girls look much better.
I've had a lot of sexual fantasies about that over the years tbh. But tbf those fantasies are usually gay.

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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-23-2019, 06:45 AM
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What? This is news to me, lol. Cheerleading, as I know it, is a predominantly female activity. I do not know of any straight men who are interested in cheerleading. She just needs to be careful, is all I'm saying.
As odd as it sounds, George W Bush was a cheerleader.

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-23-2019, 12:22 PM
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most guys can't physically perform to the level necessary for pregnancy for the gender they're not attracted to
I could argue against this but for the sake of keeping this thread 12+, better not

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A guy volunteering for a job that consists of touching and tossing around scantily-clad fit women sounds gay to you?
Well, the way you put it, no. But looking at them, I must admit this looks rather gay to me:



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Have you dated guys that turned out to be gay before? I think you're projecting some paranoia here.
No, but maybe I've watched too many Oprah shows where women talk about finding out their husband of 30 years is gay
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-23-2019, 12:36 PM
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As odd as it sounds, George W Bush was a cheerleader.
That does sound a bit odd - but also magnificent. I can just see him bouncing around with his pom-poms.

Thanks for the morning laugh.

(also - I had no idea guys actually did that at all, but then again I never watch American sports)
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