Thinking of binning my graduation photos - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 05-05-2020, 05:06 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 6

Thinking of binning my graduation photos


I couldn't sleep last night and a lot of negative thoughts were going through my head. One of them was my university graduation, even though it was years ago.


The graduation was terrible. I didn't really have any friends at university, but there was one guy I spoke to and I hung around with him at the ceremony. He was miserable (a depressed person in general) and the ceremony was terrible - we didn't even get to throw our caps in the air. Whilst stood outside I made eye contact with a professor. I expected him to walk over and say congratulations (I got some of the best marks on the course) but he pretended not to see and walked away. I guess he thought I was too boring and awkward to talk to. After that I queued for over an hour for a graduation photograph. I was ready to have my picture taken and she told me to smile. I did, but she told me again, and again, and again... I think I struggle to smile in general because of depression, but I thought I was smiling and it upset me. She was a *****. Once we got home I put the pictures in my wardrobe and haven't looked at them in five years, but I think I am just going to throw them in the bin because they are associated with negative emotions.


I had such a **** time at university, from beginning to end. I get so angry when I look back at these experiences and I feel like I have been treated badly by people. Due to this, I have changed a lot over the past few years - I am very guarded and very quick to anger. I have an angry face.


In this time some poeple have treated me nicely and wanted to talk to me, but I have self-sabotaged the situations because I am so consumed by misery.


I want to erase all of these past experiences and start over. I want to pretend they never happened. Maybe binning the photos will be cathartic.
music_fan is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 05-05-2020, 07:29 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 104
i know how you feel, i had a sh!t time at university, never made a friend, always made feel the outsider/loser....im just glad its behind me now......rarley think about them anymore.....by theway welcome to the forum!
irishkarl is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome