Thiking about moving away and starting a new life - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 10:35 AM Thread Starter
 
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Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


Something I've been thinking about. maybe I just need to move out of state where no body knows who I am. No worries about running into someone I don't like in Public. I just feel like I need a new start, I figure I could try to get a transfer through work. Anyone here do this?
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 12:52 PM
 
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


what vai fan says is only partially true. It really depends on where you move to. I live in little rock arkansas and I am the scum of the earth here. I went on a vacation to anaheim california last year, and I was treated like a prince. My mind was so boggled it took me a couple of days before I realized that, "hey , I guess people are more open-minded here."
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 01:18 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


I think it could be a good idea.You would get new ideas and perspective on things.It could be really refreshing and hey,you dont have to go away forever do you?You can but you dont have to,right?
I've been away from were i live a few times in my life for shorter and longer periods and it has allways been good for my personal development,getting a new perspective on things in my mind has been really helpfull.I think you could go for it if you really want to.

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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 04:42 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


I moved away to a totally different state when I was 24 and I can tell you I am no different then I was back home. You can't leave your mind back. I was better for a few weeks, then all my problems with SA appeared again.

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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 06:46 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


Did it for college. I went to a college where I wouldn't know a single person, in fact about 95% of the people here have never even heard of the town I'm from. I thought I could start over and redefine myself since no one would know me and become my old outgoing self again...instead I got a little worse despite making huge attempts for change (I joined a sorority and started to go to about 2 parties a week, but it didn't help). I'm transfering schools again next year and this time I'm not going to get my hopes up.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 09:16 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


I've made a couple of big moves. About 5 years ago I got a job in Chicago and moved from a small town. I loved the city but I wasn't happy with my SA progress, so I decided to try something new. I moved halfway across the country and even though I'm doing better SA-wise (mostly for reasons unrelated to the move), I'm really unhappy here because I just don't like the location.

So I would say the most important thing is how happy you are with all the aspects of your life outside of the SA. If you like your location, have some good friends, enjoy your job, etc, then maybe it's best to stay. vai fan is right, you'll always be the same person no matter where you go. You can escape everyone and everything else, but you'll never escape from yourself.

On the other hand, why torture yourself by sticking around if you're unhappy? The change of scenery might give you the jump start you need. The worst that could happen is you end up feeling as you do now, but you'll never know until you give it a shot.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 10:24 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


You're going to be the same person no matter where you move. If what you want is new people and new places, then I say go for it, but don't think that just because you go somewhere else you're going to be somebody else. I moved for partially the same reason and, unfortunately, I'm still the same person with the same SAD.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-03-2008, 10:45 PM
 
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


If you move you really need to try and seperate yourself from SA, and analyze it for its other values and practical factors. Some factors could affect your SA which is something to consider, but moving alone for a new start won't change who you are. I ran into a similar situation a few months back where I just wanted to take off, but I really sat down and thought about how it would change my life, and if it would be good, and it wouldn't have changed a thing. Not true always, but like I said I think you need to seperate it out, hard as it may be.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-04-2008, 12:07 AM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


I moved for job reasons and now I'm worse off then before and I'm still the same person with SA. Next time I move it will be someplace warm year round, then at least if I have to live on the streets I won't freeze to death.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-05-2008, 12:43 AM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


Whereever you go, your issues will follow you.
It is more interesting and safe to deal with your issues from where you are and see how people around you react to the positive change!

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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-05-2008, 09:17 AM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


It depends. You play about 50%, and society plays about 50% in determining how good a place is. If you are willing to go out and meet new people and do things, but there is nothing going on in your town, then that is a problem. If there is stuff going on in your current town, but everyone knows you and doesn't seem to like you because of something you did or who you are, then it isn't good either.

There is a special mix that is just right, where there is enough going on, but not enough people where you would blend in with everyone else. If make an effort in your current town to do more things and meet more people, and it doesn't work out, then it is most likely your cities fault. There might be a better town which would have more similar views as you. If there is a lot going on, but you don't know how to fit in, then you have to work on your social skills or it wouldn't matter where you move to.

"Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea; but you're not anywhere near the sea. You're in the desert. Alone."
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-05-2008, 09:22 AM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


A very mixed bag of advice going on here.

While it is true that you will have SA no matter where you go, some places are more right for one than others are. I have lived in a few different places in my time and there IS A difference with one's environment. Just try to be as sure as you can be about the place you move to. I have lived in Colorado for over 3 years and I don't like it very much at all (I liked Vegas much better) but am kind of trapped here because of my husband's job.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-05-2008, 09:05 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


I thought the thought of moving away and starting a new life and have gone through with it.

I was born and raised in West Virginia. 7 months ago I moved to Dayton, Ohio; 3 hours from anyone I knew. While it is nice to go places and know I'm not going to run into anyone I know, I'm still the same person I was before. Loner. However, for me it's better to be a loner by myself than to be one so close to my family that they know everything. Hell, for all they know I'm out here living it up. I got a good job here and I mainly moved here for proximity to Cincinnati and Columbus (big Reds and Buckeyes fan).

I'm kind of disappointed that getting what I wanted out of life hasn't made me change my social ways. That's why it's so discouraging. I don't see myself ever getting out of this shell but I still don't regret my move. Wouldn't recommend it though if you're only doing it to see if it'll change you. It probably won't.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-05-2008, 10:30 PM
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


There are a lot of us from the Dayton area. But we never seem to meet. Maybe we should all go to one of the Dayton Dragons baseball games this year.

"Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea; but you're not anywhere near the sea. You're in the desert. Alone."
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 04-06-2008, 02:17 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Thiking about moving away and starting a new life


I noticed that! As you can tell I'm from Toledo Ohio. I lived in Findlay for a time and while I was the same person I did like the distance(but not the 45 mile drive to work, long story) after 5 months I moved back to Toledo. At first I was Thrilled(needed to get away from Findlay, ended a LTR there) to be back, now I feel kinda mixed.

I know I had to come back to put the past in my past and with gas prices and all it was not feaseable to drive 45 min to work one way. Now, that I'm back the city doesn't seem the same. I know the experance changed me and for the better. For me, I don't want to move thousands of miles away but maybe a little distance away, Like Pennsylvania or Wisconsin.
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