There's a party at lunch in 2-3 hours from now in my aunt's house. This was an unexpected baby at first, btw.
They already have three. Anyway, this is a coed baby shower party. Eh. I really don't like any large family gatherings because I'm not really close to any of them in the way I would like them and me to be. Also, there are also going to be lots of people. I seriously don't want spend a couple to few hours there not really talking to anyone. I don't think there's going to be anyone around my age over there. Perhaps my younger sis who is not really close close. It's probably the most torturous, cancerous situation I would never want to be in. I could tell my mom that I just don't want to go. She doesn't understand me as a person but respects me and my decisions.
Also, I feel and understand that my presence, or anyone's presence would make the hosts and celebrants feel special. The more the merrier, of course. Feeling more idiotic I forgot to buy a present even though I knew one week in advance. With me dropping all my classes this semester and staying indoors for most of that whole week, feels more incredulous of forgetting.
I'm also scared my mom might tell them that I just didn't want to go which makes it more pitiful.
There's a piano over in their house yet its a really crappy spinet whose tone sounds like something whining. Maybe I can brighten it up by going and playing pieces from my own repertoire and sightread baroque and soft romantic sheet music for everyone but that just provokes the crap out of me.
Eh. Forget it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm clueless.
I'm just not going to go and that's final.