The Worst thing? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 02:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost View Post
OK no problem, I mean in the back of my mind i guess i was annoyed, but I have not been on the site in 10 or 12 days, I was going to pga golf, yankees mets and movies almost every night recently so I havent had time to think about much, anyway I also don't have the energy to argue with people online, and I am sorry that it all got this heated, some words just set me off, but I might have been too sensitive, and hopefully we can both move on with our lives you know without any bad blood
I'm sorry too, and I agree it would be better to move on now.

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Originally Posted by JohnDoe26 View Post
— "I don't want to be your friend"

— "Ugh, go away"

— After staring intently at me, "I can think of so many ways to insult you........"

— "You are so queer!" (my mom out of frustration)

— "No girls aloud!"

— "Look at him... I want to slap him so bad" (not said to me, but referring to me while speaking to his friend)

— "You're definitely not cute like your sister" (teacher)
Someone said the same thing to me before out of frustration with the fact that I wasn't speaking much but they said it to my face.

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post #22 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 08:26 PM
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-At that time I was told that "unlike you I am successful." They pretty much told me they had this and that. Threw in their new girlfriend. {Several months later they ended up telling me they broke up. I knew it wouldn't last} Anyway what they said to me I consider the worst.


In a later situation they also called me a Self Righteous *****. It was this final blow that finally made me to leave the person alone for good. Yeah the guy was bitter towards me after he misunderstood me when I told him that it wasn't wise to be in a relationship when I have nothing going for myself in life. He took it as a break up. He said some other things about me that were not true which I forget exactly what he said. Good thing I don't remember. But even so it his words I consider so far to be one of the worst. I'm still hauted by them every now and then in my mind.




-This one is minor compare to the one above but several years ago when I was talking to a high school classmate on Facebook Messanger I told him at that time I was Asexual. I don't remember how the topic came up. I didn't like him. We were just chating. Well anyway I after I had explain to him what it meant he told me that something like I just need to get laid. He said it as if it would "fix me." He words were loose about it. I felt insulted. I got mad and cut him off. It is somewhat among the worst because it felt like a "How dare you" moment. And not to be boastful but I felt like "Do you know the kind of person I am?!" Some stuff you can't associate me with because of my nice caring gentle personality. I was in my early 20's. Thinking about it now a part of me slightly believe he's probably right. I think I just overactive. But even so I wouldn't like it if someone told me that today unless they are the type I am cool with. Some people can get a pass. Not this guy.



-Another minor one was another former online friend telling me I wasn't a woman because of my Asexuality at that time. {I don't quite identified as Asexual anymore. Not because of this but because I don't think I am one anymore}



-My Mom said a few things about myself that sting. Stuff like how I can help everyone else but myself, and me not trying hard enough. This is a bit different but whenever the harsh words is thrown at me it feel like a worst for me. It hurt.
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post #23 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-23-2019, 04:59 AM Thread Starter
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One negative or positive comment can haunt/follow us for the rest of our lifes. Words can make or break us. Especially when we are young and vunerable..The key is to let go of past experiences and to not let these negative comments influence our thoughts/behavior today. But the problem with most anxious people is that they let the past determine their life today too much. We need to somehow come to terms with the past and overcome our fears. But that's easier said than done.
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post #24 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-23-2019, 05:39 AM
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To me: "You're trash", when I was in my early teens. Said by a teenager with a relish and a smile in front of a group of other teenage girls. They were all older than me and I already felt out of place.

From me, to another woman: "You're vacuous and stupid". In a pub, after some drinks. At the time I thought this was a brave gesture, finally speaking my mind, but now I wish I had just left. Being vacuous and stupid doesn't make one evil or deserving of abuse.

The very worst was in a relationship context, but it's a bit too raw to share.

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post #25 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-26-2019, 05:15 AM
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Might make some sad.
 
Useless, worthless, lazy, selfish, ungrateful, *****, weak. Impossible for anyone to be attracted to me. Or proud of me. A burden, you'll never be successful. Pathetic. All from my mom. That's just what comes to mind atm. Add in all the domestic violence, mother leaving when I was a baby and leaving me with an uncle who abused me, other types of abuse, constant moving, divorce, pple going to jail- yup I'm as ****ed up as you'd imagine someone raised like that would be. When pple seem like they have ok relats with their parents or think their parents love them or that parents love their kids it's all foreign to me. Crazy cause I was a quiet, creative, intelligent kid that would've done anything for my mom to like me. Everyone but my mom would say how smart, quiet, kind, loving, mature and respectful I was. As a kid I didn't believe them of course cause mom had to be right abt me. She knew me whereas they just saw me sometimes. She'd always say I know the real you. And I believed her. But as an adult I now know sometimes pple just hate you cause of the **** they've dealt with in their own lives. Her mother was a cruel ***** as well. That's life. I was a casualty of her war. And now I get to work hard af undoing all that damage. Yayyyy! Fun!

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Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #26 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-26-2019, 07:37 AM Thread Starter
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ear.
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Originally Posted by SparklingWater View Post
Might make some sad.
 
Useless, worthless, lazy, selfish, ungrateful, *****, weak. Impossible for anyone to be attracted to me. Or proud of me. A burden, you'll never be successful. All from my mom. That's just what comes to mind atm. Add in all the domestic violence, mother leaving when I was a baby and leaving me with an uncle who abused me, other types of abuse, constant moving, divorce, pple going to jail- yup I'm as ****ed up as you'd imagine someone raised like that would be. When pple seem like they have ok relats with their parents or think their parents love them or that parents love their kids it's all foreign to me. Crazy cause I was a quiet, creative, intelligent kid that would've done anything for my mom to like me. Everyone but my mom would say how smart, quiet, kind, loving, mature and respectful I was. As a kid I didn't believe them of course cause mom had to be right abt me. She knew me whereas they just saw me sometimes. She'd always say I know the real you. And I believed her. But as an adult I now know sometimes pple just hate you cause of the **** they've dealt with in their own lives. Her mother was a cruel ***** as well. That's life. I was a casualty of her war. And now I get to work hard af undoing all that damage. Yayyyy! Fun!

Sorry to hear. But at least you understand now that emotionally unstable were bulliled also. People don't act mean for no reason. Only because they carry a heavy load of frustrations, bad experiences, jealousy, hatred and unprocessed anger with them wich they project unto innocent others around them. That happens when you never come to terms with your past and heal old wounds.

My father once called me a 'thing' when I was younger because I was so withdrawn as if I didn't have emotions. Now I understand he carries a problematic past with him and never was able to understand me back then, because I was so shy emotionally closed off. And he was frustrated with that. And to make it worse he's a narcisst too, so insensitve comments come out of his mouth too often. Only deeper understanding and acceptance of him and my bullies has helped me more to overcome my frustrations with his/their behavior. Only shows just because you have parents doesn't mean you have to be best friends
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post #27 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-27-2019, 03:40 PM
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Sometimes it's not really a blatant insult that really gets to you. Sometimes it's the sly ones that insinuate something that do. Like there was this one Danish woman I was hanging out with in Brazil. Because we are both rather pale and very white, people would be stupid and say we looked alike and ask if we were related. She's much taller than me, with a very different face, different hair, different personality. She was quite insulted by those comments....insinuating that I'm ugly.

I've also felt insulted when I showed people photos of my dad (not photos of him when he was young) and they said I looked like him. Or the time I had surgery and a nurse seeing me butt-naked asked if I had lost a lot of weight in the past. I had not. Guess she thought I had unusually saggy skin.

The job I had in Japan was not good either. Part of it is culture, they can be very blunt and rude about physical features. But it was made even worse since I was doing bar-hostessing where looks are very important. So customers felt they could say whatever the hell they wanted. Numerous times they said I looked really old (was in my 20s at the time). Also got lots of compliments too (on my pale skin and "small" face). Compliments mixed in with insults. One time some guy asked if I was pregnant because I had a small pot belly. They'd touch my hair and say it was soft like dog hair (cause Asians have thick head hair, similar to straight pubes). For a while I was working with this one cute Japanese surfer girl. She had a really deep tan from surfing and the comments on her skin just never stopped. She'd say she used sunblock but it only helps so much. Japanese men, especially the older generations, like pale skin.
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post #28 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-27-2019, 10:18 PM
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"I'm going to kill you" probably tops my list. Said by a guy with a history of violent assaults (who beat up four of my friends). Another guy who beat me up said he'd kill me and my friend if we went to the police. A Nazi skinhead threatened me with a chainsaw (motor running), but he didn't actually tell me he was going to kill me. A bunch of guys told me they were going to kick my ***. I've been called just about everything IRL. Heard variations on f** a bunch of times. Comments about my appearance (ugly, gross, etc.). People telling me to kill myself. My ex used to humiliate me in front of other people, calling me stupid, pathetic, loser, etc. (Who even remembers all that stuff? lol.) Online I've been called a rapist, rape apologist, pedophile, misogynist, misandrist, racist, homophobe, transphobe, psychopath, delusional, liar (for relating experiences like these) and my personal favorite: tyrant (2x). But that stuff is just irritating, not upsetting.

I told my dad his life was pathetic when I was 18. Got myself kicked out of the house for that one, lol.

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post #29 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 03:43 AM Thread Starter
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Sorry to hear guys! Remember always that other people's opinions is not make you who you are but your own feelings about yourself. You only know yourself the best.
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post #30 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 11:34 PM
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"I'm going to kill you" probably tops my list. Said by a guy with a history of violent assaults (who beat up four of my friends). Another guy who beat me up said he'd kill me and my friend if we went to the police. A Nazi skinhead threatened me with a chainsaw (motor running), but he didn't actually tell me he was going to kill me. A bunch of guys told me they were going to kick my ***. I've been called just about everything IRL. Heard variations on f** a bunch of times. Comments about my appearance (ugly, gross, etc.). My ex used to humiliate me in front of other people, calling me stupid, pathetic, loser, etc. (Who even remembers all that stuff? lol.) Online I've been called a rapist, rape apologist, pedophile, misogynist, misandrist, racist, homophobe, transphobe, psychopath, delusional, liar (for relating experiences like these) and my personal favorite: tyrant (2x). But that stuff is just irritating, not upsetting.

I told my dad his life was pathetic when I was 18. Got myself kicked out of the house for that one, lol.
In what way was your dad's life pathetic?
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post #31 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-28-2019, 11:56 PM
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In what way was your dad's life pathetic?
He was my hs principal. I considered him an oppressive totalitarian, haha.

I don't remember exactly why I said it. I just know we were fighting a lot at the time. He was always telling me to do this or do that because he thought I was screwing my life up. I mean, I did obv, so at least he can say I told you so.

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post #32 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-29-2019, 12:08 AM
 
 
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Hm.

I think some guy on a dating site called me a carpet munching **** and that I should go **** myself. I've been told various things like that on the internet. I honestly can't remember most of it, nor do I care.

In person, probably the worst stuff is when I run into drug addled psychos on the street or at work. I've been told some awful stuff, called names and sworn at. And recently been threatened physically . One homeless guy I met at my last job told me that I was warped in the head and my "boyfriend" probably wants to kill himself due to my personality, and that he pities him.

By family/friends... my mom has said some really messed up things to me as a child (and as an adult tbh lol). That she hates me and that I'm a horrible monster. She told me that I look disgusting, am brain dead etc etc. My brother has taken some of his pranks/immaturity too far (he's 12) and said some really inexcusable things to me. I don't take it personally, I know he's just an edgelord.

My father has said horrible things to me but not about me, about other people. I'm not sure if that counts. He has told me that he wanted to and thought of actually of killing somebody. A lot of the stuff he says disgusts me.
--

When it comes to me. I'm not sure. I'm not a nice person. I've said a lot of horrible things.

I think one of the worst things I've said to another person is to my best friend in high school when my mom told me she was pregnant with my little brother. I told her that I wished that my mom would abort or miscarry him so that he wouldn't have to go through the same torment that I had to go through as a kid. It's quite creepy actually. I posted a pic of him and I on facebook years and years later and she commented, "Remember what you told me..." I knew exactly what she was talking about. Eugh.

I do feel bad saying that but it wasn't really malicious. At the time I was at the height of my mom abusing me/issues with dad and pretty much suicidal. I wasn't sleeping, I would sleep every other day or two days and skipped school almost everyday. Every night I dreamed of killing myself and I was self harming. The idea of this innocent baby having to go through what I was going through at the time made me sick. Thankfully he wound up growing up in a completely different environment.
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post #33 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-29-2019, 03:01 AM
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my sister was not fun to be around growing up. I distinctly remember her saying that the world would be a better place if I died and that she would throw a party after my death or something like that. She would also frequently tell me that I was retarded and call me fat because she knew I was extremely insecure about my body and in the midst of developing an eating disorder. Basically, she would throw a fit if she didn't get her way and say the nastiest things.

more issues than vogue
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post #34 of 34 (permalink) Old 05-29-2019, 04:06 AM Thread Starter
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Oh yeah, another fun insult to add to the list. I been called an '*** hole' once at college by a guy (bully) who was jealous of me. I was like 'what did I do?'.It's amazing how some of these old memories come back. You always remember those few moments you been treated the worst. And that those words are still somehwere kept hidden in the back of your mind, stored like a harddisk. But the good thing is I also remember the positive things people told me That is why I always tell people to be aware of what you say and how you treat others. The tongue can bring life or bring forth death.
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